gypsyrose

The boys and I had a great time staying with friends. Ate good food, listened to good music. We had so much fun playing a game called Apples to Apples, laughed so hard.

Came home, went to see a therapist, which, quite frankly, was just depressing. Another completely irrational fight with AH in the middle of the night. Spent the last few days trying to find him a psychiatrist. He doesn't want to go but says he will... sculking around the house mad at me for making him go. His appointment isn't for a couple of weeks.

I'd tell him to just go get the perscription for antidepressants and keep them on hand for if he couldn't pull himself together... if he could pull himself together BUT...

Now he has an excuse to be mad for the next two weeks, why ruin it for him and make him have to come up with another excuse?

I feel so lonely.

Friday, I'm having breakfast with a good friend and dinner with another. Boys will be at woodshop during breakfast, later they have a robotics class, then we'll have dinner with their favorite "Uncle." Saturday, we'll pick up another homeschooler and drive down to a Live Action Role Play event. (Kinda like improvisational theater and a game of tag, with padded swords, battle axes, shields, etc. that goes on all day.)

But I'll still feel lonely. I guess I'm mourning losing AH again to wherever it is his mind has gone this time.

keepingmyjoy

Sounds like you are doing well keeping busy....you are in my thoughts.

LaTeeDa

Isn't it exhausting and frustrating trying to control and fix him? It was for me when I did that.

L

gypsyrose

L

Yes, it is exhausting and fustrating to try to help my sick husband but if I can help him, it's worth it and if I can't, I'll know I did everything I could to try to save my family.

LaTeeDa

I understand trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. It is very lonely and frustrating.

L