finallyreaching

God this breaks my heart,
Almost a year sober and clean and my boyfriend has decided he can drink and drug again. I guess his suicide attempt wasnt scary or real enough. I have given up so much, treaded so lightly so that I would not set of the 'volcano' he is inside, only to watch him go back to his old ways. I feel like I am sitting here waitong for the bandaid to get ripped off...I know pain is on the way and yet all I can do is look away because I am not brave enough to pull the bandaid off myself. It breaks my heart to see someone I love be like this...and it also tears me up to see what I have allowed my life to become. I feel like our relationship has taken its last breathe and we are slowly sinking. Not only have I lowered my morals ..but I have also ruined my self-esteem. I want to cry and just let out my pain but tears dont seem to help anymore....


Finallyreaching

minnie

((((hugs))))

He has made his decision. I urge you to make yours in the spirit of growth and freedom. For both of you.

Barbara52

I sorry you are feeling such pain. {hugs}

wraybear

Quote:

Originally Posted by finallyreaching

I have given up so much, treaded so lightly so that I would not set of the 'volcano' he is inside, only to watch him go back to his old ways.
Finallyreaching

Wow. sorry to hear you are in such pain. Living with an active A can be rough.

But reread what I quoted above. YOU have given up so much... YOU have treaded lightly so that YOU would not set of the volcano he is inside...

You said that you have given up so much. I have been where you are, so I understand, but please get some counseling or attend Al-Anon. You don't have to give up anything! That is why it is so important for you to get on with YOUR life! You have a choice in this. You deserve to be happy and should seek happiness.

Nothing YOU do can set of his volcano. YOU have no control over his drinking.
His drinking is not YOUR fault.

Glad to you seeking out help on this sight to deal with your situation. You can find happiness!

Peace and contentment to you soon, very soon.

Wascally Wabbit

Relationships can drain you and make you feel terrible about yourself. You can gain back your self esteem and your morals! They're not gone forever. You just need boundaries that you enforce.
Try out this book: Boundaries, when to say yes, how to say no.
It's excellent and will help you tremendously.

keepingmyjoy

My first post disappeared....

I am so sorry you are in such pain....we are with you.

Rella927

Pulling the bandaid off is a very painful thing for us to do but well worth it to ourselves in the long run. Start allowing your life and live it! It is your choice how you do so, just as it is his.

As minnie said "He has made his decision" now it is your turn to do for yourself and grow! Rip the bandaid off slowly with guidance and support of possibly Al-Anon or counseling and of course SR!

Healing thoughts to you! Sorry for the pain you are going through, know that you are not alone

sunshine321

I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how painful it is to watch your partner slip into denial again.

((((( )))))

Take care of YOU!

Jenny

wan2help

im sorry to hear that you've had to go through this, i cannot imagine how it feels. a friend is going through the early stages of this. I hope your situation works and you will be in my prayers. Always remember its him who is doing this, although he may not be able to control it...

take care of yourself and get the appropriate help, if neccessary. I've learned fast that not only does the alcoholic need help, the person dealing with it needs just as much attention and compassion.

**May God Bless You Through This O So Difficult Chapeter In Your Life**
(i dont know if your religious or not, but if you are turn
to God and ask for help, he will help you if you live
by his word!!!!)
as they say "with God, All Things Are POSSIBLE"