elizabeth1979

I thought I would share some of the things that have changed in my life since I started living and stopped worrying. When I first found this site I heard a lot of people saying I should do things for myself and I didn’t understand what that meant. The easiest way to explain it is to say I started wanting better things for my life and after too many years of accepting the unacceptable, I started really living.

I went out with friends I had neglected because I was babysitting a grown man.
I made new friends who I wouldnt have had the confidence to talk to when I was living with an alcoholic.
I bought new home décor to reflect my taste.
I took a cooking class because I love to cook.
I started working out.
I stopped crying and started trusting my inner voice and higher power.
I started reading a lot. Not just recovery books, but anything to expand my mind and learn about new things, politics, gardening, travel, fashion, etc. Things I wanted to learn more about.
I took a class on website design to increase my professional value.
I started taking my dog to dog parks instead of sitting around the house.
I started singing out loud in the car…with the windows down..unafraid of who was looking and listening.
I began walking with my head up instead of looking at the ground to avoid any attention from others.
I smiled a lot.
I let other drivers merge and stopped road raging.
I stopped spending too much money as a way of self-medicating my need for attention.
I stopped worrying about how un-photogenic I was and started taking pictures of everyone and everything and I smiled in them.
I didn’t accept dates with anyone who even remotely exhibited excessive drinking patterns or did not have stable employment in a capacity I could be proud of.
I stopped feeling pressured into things by friends or co-workers.
I began seeing things and people for what they are, not what they could be.


I began to realize that somewhere I had become the person I always wanted to be. I had shed that person that was sad, miserable, discouraged, and beatdown. I woke up one day and realized I was happy. I was no longer feeling manipulated and felt I was in charge of my own life and doing a pretty damn good job too.

Sometimes, the changes are hard to make and the progress is hard to see. Its baby steps, little changes, and small victories. To those of you who are where I was, keep hope.

Start living your life today and one day you will look back at smile at the pain because you will know it changed you and made you what you have become.

sunshine321

Very inspiring. Thank you.

The worst part is I was all those things until I got involved with my abf. With Al-Anon I will find my way back there again.

Jenny

Rella927

Awesome post (One to print!) Thank you for sharing this Elizabeth!

It is amazing! I had a guy almost kill me honestly last night-he was off the wall driving down the road on my tail then on others-cut me off sideways, came up next to me screaming, then proceeded to do it to someone else-This other guy came up to me and said WOW that guys is an A... he asked if I was ok...I said yes thank you- It felt so good to be afraid and in fear in a whole new light! (No reaction to the road rage). I called the cops and said wow that guy must have had a pretty bad day-and sent him off to my HP!

Wonderful things happen in recovery!

Thanks again Elizabeth! Totaly awesome thread!

ICU

Excellent! Based on this one post alone, I already nominate this thread for 'sticky of the year'!!!

I think this was the most critical thing for me to realize, well maybe, a close second to realizing who 'I' really was vs. who I 'thought' I was. Reality ain't always pretty, and often painful. But once you get it, all the other pieces of the puzzle begin to fall into place.

I've seen you with your buddy Phil and had a completely different view. I thought you were beautiful! Isn't it amazing how we view ourselves differently than how others view us?

Wonderful share! You will certainly inspire many!

denny57

Thanks for sharing. Awesome.

kelsh

Elizabeth,

What a powerful message! I am an alcoholic in recovery and found the same thing true for myself after years of struggling with clinical depression and alcoholism. I was inside this body, but couldn't come out. I let everyone walk over me and didn't care since I felt so worthless. One counselor asked me if I "ever stood in my livingroom and told my family to go to Hell?" I was too timid to do that.

I have come a long way and made a list on another post of my goals and accomplishments. Life got good for me when I sobered up and got help for my depression. I had to do role play in the Emotional Care Unit and learned to be assertive, which was a big step for me. :Wshade

You should be very proud of yourself. Not a lot of woman accomplish what you have! They stay in the rescuerer or enabler role for the addicted person in their life, not seeking help for themselves or putting their life back together without the addicted person.

kelsh

FindingMe

Love the post!! Thanks you for your words of wisdom and encouragement!!

Spiritual Seeker

Good reminder to live life to the fullest and seek our joy. We can't blame much on the A in our life...we can only take control of our life. "If the ship is sinking, get out and swim to shore" I love the changes you have made, I feel better just reading about them.

parentrecovers

wonderful post, elizabeth - thank you! k

Astro

Amazing Elizabeth, and very inspirational! Thank you!

PaperDolls

Thanks for this post.
I'm proud of you and how far you have come.
I'm even a bit envious.

GiveLove

You have given me something to keep shooting for, Elizabeth!!

We can all get there. All it takes is baby steps in the right directions.

Pick something today and start working on it. Or make up your own "thing you want to be/do" and work toward it. Life's all about laying one brick on top of another.

What a wonderful post.

hbb

Thank you for this, especially today! What great accomplishments you've achieved! This truly is a keeper Thanks!

guineapigjude

You deserve to be who you are! You are an awesome inspiration. Thanks for the post!

chero

Amazing!

twinspeak

Thank You.

I too needed that post.

TexasGirl

Layla2222

a "thank you" from me as well

sheshe555

Great post! Incredibly inspirational. Being new to this whole situation I will be printing this one out and putting it up on my board to have it in my face everyday. If things do not work out the way I hope I will have this as my motivation to move on.

elizabeth1979

Something I want to add is I was only free to
when I allowed others to be who they are and stopped, and I mean really stopped, trying to make them what I wanted them to be, what was 'best for them', or what I 'knew they could be if only..."

My focusing on others was a handy little distraction from my own life.

Hugs to everyone who is here, bc we all start somewhere.