Introvrtd1

im in a bad way now. i really need someone to lean on. thank you to all those that sent me a pm.

i relapsed last nite.

several of us are out of town on business. went out till 2am drinking. i relapsed. my associates had to wake me this morning in the hotel. they were wating for me in the lobby. i was 20 min late. whats worse, i reaked of booze in the van ride to the office.

missed the morning meeting, cause i was too sick. somehow got thru the day. feeling really bad now. anxious, panicky, agitated, apprehensive. its my own fault. i know better.

im even in the midst of treatment. thats pretty sad.

my self esteem is gone. im ashamed. why do i come here looking for pity, someone to lean on, bend an ear. sorry. i feel like such a wuss right now.

im not drinking tonite. im feeling really low. i feel like i betrayed all who successfully remain sober. like i let you down. im open and really vulnerable now.

yeah, i expect to get replies of sympathy, encouragement, and i dont blame you if im even criticized. i deserve it.

thanks in advance

intro

barb dwyer

intro -

hang on bud!
you're doing the right thing - being honest.
are you in a porgram of recovery as well as the treatment>?
we're here, hon.

you didn't let me down.
you might have let yourself down, but that's not for me to say.
you have a sponsor? did you call your sponsor? (if you have one)

I've been reading your insomnia posts for a while now.

just hang in there, hon.

Tazman53

Intro you know when I travel I go to a meeting instead of tempting fate by going out with the guys!!!! Funny thing, I make new freinds every where I go!

So what are you going to do extra to stay sober?

What are you not going to do again to stay sober?

As long as you keep trying you can not fail!!!

But if you keep trying the same thing over and over again you may just want to bang your head against the wall.

In order for me to stop I had to be willing to do what ever it took to stay sober whether I liked it or not!

SaTiT

just move forward what's done is done.
Be greatful you're still here alive and reaching out..many don't come back
until they loose everything or worst.

give yourself a break and congrat yourself for takin the courage
to reach out and being honest.

Forgive yourself if you want...or until you have had enough of beating up on yourself

have you had enough yet ?lol

Welcomeback Intro

Rowan

Hey Intro,

I'm just grateful you made it back to us. Don't give up.

Introvrtd1

i cant sleep, i cant eat (no appetite).

im sitting in the hotel lobby now, reading and posting. i dont want to go to my room. im feeling extremely lonely.

barb dwyer

I guess finding a meeting around you is too much?

Alyce14

Intro, oh do I feel your pain. Been there, done that. I am still in the process of quitting and if I can do it, I know things will get better.

Join us at the thread "I am quitting today.." It is a gathering of sorts of people who are newly sober or trying to get that way. Also many helpful people drop by who have encouragement.

Personally, i wanted a thread where we talk about how "dark" it is, but there is hope. And where the thread doesn't dissolve into "how great it was today to have x-number of days/years and my life is great". For me, I need a place where we can talk about how hard this is.

Better day today,
Alyce

Tazman53

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
HALT!

Just one of these puts us in danger, 2 of them in real danger of drinking, 3 is really a red alert area!!!

How hard is it to Google a support group meeting in your area?

Introvrtd1

nothing in this area. im not in the usa. im overseas.

i can call one of my associates or visit his room. just for idle chit chat. i dont want to tell him how i feel.

its a macho thing.

i express feelings here because of th understanding.

gottaquit

I'm not going to critisise you. You already feel bad enough.
Pick up the peices and move on. You will do fine.
Sorry you missed your meeting.
Don't feel bad about letting us down. We are here to help you pick yourself back up and get on the right path again.
Luck to you.
I'm only on day 6.
Wish me luck.
gottaquit

barb dwyer

oh. okthen.

I said that cuz if there was a hotline -
at least you'd have someone 'in the program' to talk to ya.
meaning - someone who knows what they're doing and not just feeling their way around ...

ok then.

gotta quit - *prayers* and good job so far! It's worth it!

gypsytears

Wouldn't you feel more comfortable in your room ? Staying online?

I don't got to meetings but I know there are #'s for every place on earth to reach AA.

Rowan

Yup - I'm sure you could find a meeting, or at the very least, someone in AA to talk to on the phone. someone who understands alcoholism.

Intro, if ya wanna PM me and tell me where you're at, I'll find you a number.

Introvrtd1

im in the hotel lobby, because the only way to get online.

i need to be around people right now, too lonely in the room. ill probably be here all nite.

gypsytears

Sorry... didn't know that. Maybe pm Ro and get a # to call so you can talk to someone live? Staying online with us is a good option too tho .

parentrecovers

sorry you're struggling, intro..support out, k

skunkape

I know the feeling you are going through, it is horrible. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't use this an excuse to drink more, you'll end up causing much more damage. Take baby steps. One minute sober, 5 minutes sober, 10 minutes sober, 30 minutes sober, 1 hour sober, 24 hours sober. One day at a time. All we have is this day to be sober. We don't have the future, we don't have the past, just the present. Don't criticize yourself or endlessly debate why it happened, that will cause you to feel even worse. If you can stay sober a minute you can stay sober a lifetime, just keep it in the minute.

Rella927

Hang in there Intro....SR is always open-

You are aware of what happen and what is done is done...make it a new start!

Being aware is HUGE! Taking care of YOU and that you are here is even more HUGE!

You are not alone Intro...

Alyce14

Intro,

Hope things are a little better. You are in damage control: first you figure out how to explain to your co-workers how this happened. "I drank too much last night" usually works. Surprising to me how much of a fight this is for us alcoholics, but the world-at-large doesn't understand, or care for that matter. Believe me-they have something they are dealing with. It there is a god, he made us all with an Achilles heel.

I have a bf who bites his fingernails (WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?) and eats too much, and SMOKES, ALONG WITH NICORETTES. And I have the problem? Well yes, I do, and (not getting biblical here) but it is my cross to carry.

Damage control: give it "spin" and proceed here with those of us who know what WE are dealing with. Believe me, I think all of humanity has something...

I am here as your friend, and fellow sufferer. Please PM if it will help. I am freelance, so I can talk all day if it will help,

Alyce