KimchiGirl

Wow, I think I was sober for 36 hours before I had a stressful event and broke down. I just tried to leave the man I have been having an affair with, and he refuses. I want to be with my husband, but the other guy just won't let go. We had a screaming match on the phone and I hung up on him. I went straight for my jack daniels and did some cocaine as well. I just didn't want to deal with the stress. Is this to be expected when you are trying to get sober? How many times will I mess up before I can get through this? Or am is this an indication that I can't get sober? I just can't handle this stress. What should I do?

rloomer

WOW! what an ordeal. I can only wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever decision you make is the one that will bring some sort of peace in your life because that sounds hectic.

First thing, I'm not one to tell people what to do, but you know being unfaithful in the first place will cause stress in the relationship that should matter. Whether your husband knows or not.

Second, get rid of the liquor. If it's not in front of you, you'll have time to maybe reconsider.

Finally, get to a meeting soon. These guys will help you make the right decisions for yourself.

Thank you so much for reaching out for help. You've taken that first step toward recovery. I think you're gonna get a lot better advice than I can give on this matter so hang out for a while and watch the responses roll in.

Take care Kim

chicago

hey! there is much hope for you! you can absolutely get sober. trust me. i was the lowest life form in existence. i could spend an hour telling about how i used to be. every single thing i said was a lie. i decieved and manipulated every situation for my benefit. i was a homeless gutter punk heroin addict drunk, stealing my way through life. since i got sober this program has made me a good person! i live the highest quality of life imaginable!

come join us! you're definitely one of us. you're home now, if you want to stay.

pointmagnet

Getting the booze out of the house and away from you is always a good idea. Half the time I am too lazy to go get a drink if I don't have anything in the house.

Myself, I'm having a hard time this week as the (soon to be ex-)wife has file the papers for a divorce. I'm on the road on a business trip so the hotel retaurant and work friend are just too close. Kept it to a couple of wines per evening so far... But I did not sleep well at all last night.

I think a meeting is in the cards for me this month. A New city ,(not many folks that know me), lots of problems, rental car full of gas to get me there.... Sounds do-able.

Do they have meetinsg for those that have received sposual abuse (nagging, contolol, embarassment) over many years?

Hope

You can do this! You don't have to do it alone. Together *WE* can do what we could not do alone. Alone it is too much for us.

I'm so sorry about that situation that you are in.

Keep seeking answers and find a recovery program that works for you. Being sober gives you the clear mind to accomplish anything and it can be yours!

Missymae737

Hi,

I struggled during my first month of sobriety...I had withdrawals so bad and craved alcohol so intense I would cry...

Meetings helped, lots of candy, and coming here saved my life..

You can do this, keep posting...

barb dwyer

something i tried to remember ... and still do -
the situation I was in - *I* made it that way.
or - I *let* it get that out of hand. because i waqqs drinking.
drinking - isn't going to make anything about that situation ... (either) better.

drinking, in fact - made them situations in the first place.

helped me to remember that , anyhow.

Captain Kirk

Hi!
I agree with PointMagnet: throw away the booze you keep in the house. By not having it you'll think twice about buying it when you get the urge.
Take care.

newtonK

how often do you do cocaine?

Anna

How can he refuse to let you go? You can get a restraining order if necessary, but you can do what you choose to do. It's not his decision.

I'm glad you're back and trying again!

KimchiGirl

Hi everyone! Just to address the above question....my cocaine use is sporadic. I use it if I can get some. I used to do cocaine everyday for nearly three years. I overdosed, and the crappy part, my friends refused to take me to the emergency room. I recovered on the floor of the friend who was supplying me with cocaine. After that experience, I quit coke for nearly a year and a half. Then an exboyfriend used cocaine to get me to stay in a relationship with him. He had overdosed, and I was done. I met my husband and had stayed completely clean for two years. But, my husband introduced me to drinking...heavy drinking. He is from England and he knows how to handle his liquor. Me being asian, one drink sent me over the edge. But after nights of drinking by his side, I grew a tolerance. We have both slowed down drinking, but I picked doing cocaine again due to an unhappy marriage. Then it seemed like the cycle started all over again. In my heart, I wanted nothing to do with alcohol or cocaine. I was scared. But my body craved it. It was like I was out of control.

But right now, I haven't touched anything today. So far so good. There is an AA meeting starting in about an hour. I'm going! My first meeting ever! I hope I don't stand out. I really just want to see what it is like. I don't know what they do there, but I'm willing to try this. Thanks again to everyone for providing me support. You guys are all I have right now....I'm staying on these boards and I want to get through this with all of your help!

Thank you again!

CarolD

Men leave and men arrive.
You can choose when. I certainly have.

Ultimately your faced with yourself
and that is the magic of life...

Glad to see you are trying AA...
it's an awesome adventure...

Hope

Wow, that is wonderful that you are going to a meeting! Let us know how it goes.

We're here for you!!

rloomer

Hopefully we can all celebrate one thing together. Being sober today.

I'm sober today and I remember what I did last night

ANGELINA243

You are telling us your story--and from what I understand--your life sounds unmanageable at the moment.I so completely understand how you feel. Jack Daniels is my favorite drink--and sometimes(though not always) I too mixed it with "outside issues".

The point is that you know that something in your life isn't working out the way you hoped it would--whether it be relationships, alcohol, drugs etc.

You have to be honest with yourself--first and foremost--"How do I want to live my life?" "Is the alcohol making my life better?" It worked for me only temporarily--as a means to escape the crap going on/people pissing me off--"If you had to put up with what I do, you would drink too."

Just for today--tell yourself "I will not drink or use, for the next 5 minutes, then 30 minutes, and so on". If you drink--then start over again--don't beat yourself up for any mistakes--it will cause you to want to drink even more (at least it did in my case). I remember 24 hours seemed impossible at first--so I modified the "just for today to smaller lenghts of time and starting building up from that point. So, far it seems to be working. Hang in there--and keep posting.Being sober is only impossible once you quit trying.