Just a little thought
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 518
Just a little thought
I have been feeing like an emotional whirlwind lately. This recovery business is not easy. I've been trying to get to meetings whenever I can.
I never realized how much I disliked myself until lately- I realized I walked around secretly resentful towards the world, always feeling less than. Comparing myself to everyone else who seemed to have what I lacked. Today I tried something new- I walked around as if I had value and refused to listen to the voice that compares and judges.
On my way home from class this morning, a cab driver asked me how my day was going and I answered "It's okay." When I asked him, he said, "Everyday is a great day for me."
I almost broke down crying there- because it put things into perspective for me and made me realize that I just don't want to be negative or angry or afraid anymore.
I never realized how much I disliked myself until lately- I realized I walked around secretly resentful towards the world, always feeling less than. Comparing myself to everyone else who seemed to have what I lacked. Today I tried something new- I walked around as if I had value and refused to listen to the voice that compares and judges.
On my way home from class this morning, a cab driver asked me how my day was going and I answered "It's okay." When I asked him, he said, "Everyday is a great day for me."
I almost broke down crying there- because it put things into perspective for me and made me realize that I just don't want to be negative or angry or afraid anymore.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Just as recovery for an addict is far more than just putting down the drug, the recovery journey for those of us who love addicts is far more than just dealing with the addict.
My recovery has been all about self-discovery. Some of that has been painful... but the majority has been enlightening and I have felt some heavy weights lifted. I wish the same for you.
Keep trudging through... (((hugs)))
My recovery has been all about self-discovery. Some of that has been painful... but the majority has been enlightening and I have felt some heavy weights lifted. I wish the same for you.
Keep trudging through... (((hugs)))
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Heather go back and re-read what you posted. Even though there is some pain, look at the enlightenment you have found. I call this an "AHA" moment, when some little thing brings us an awareness of something we would like to change in ourself.
That's how recovery has been for me, even that painful growth that is part of it all has a hidden gift of enlightenment.
And the good news is that as we proceed and grow, as we learn new things about ourselves and better ways to live....we no longer have to live in that dark place called codependency.
A gift of this program is that it is a "we" program and we all walk together sharing our light, no longer alone in the dark.
Hugs
That's how recovery has been for me, even that painful growth that is part of it all has a hidden gift of enlightenment.
And the good news is that as we proceed and grow, as we learn new things about ourselves and better ways to live....we no longer have to live in that dark place called codependency.
A gift of this program is that it is a "we" program and we all walk together sharing our light, no longer alone in the dark.
Hugs
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