2many2count

Last night was the worst! I was invited to a Pampered Chef party and I went because I never get to do anything by myself with out my kids. So off I go and it lasted about 2 1/2 hours then I came home and told my husband that I was going to tan. I came home from that and he was drunk. Then he started talking cpar to me about being gone and was trying to start a fight. Called me every name in the book and I left. I knew that if I stayed there was gonna be a fight because I just couldn't take listening to his mouth wiothout hitting him in it!!!!!!! He pushed my buttons so hard last night! What am I doing wrong? I left and went to pick up my daughter and her friend at the skating rink and when I came home well...he was still on his warpath so I sent the girls with a bag of popcorn to their room and looked at him stearnly and said "If you open your mouth to me one more time in front of her company I'm leaving and I'm not coming back" Well...he shut up until this morning and he woke me up at 5:30 griping because he couln't find his hammer. Like I know where the D@#$ thing is. I am supposed to stay in control and my insides are like Jello right now. I feel sick to my stomach and outof control...I need some encouragement. PLEASE!


2many2count

sunshine71

((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry things are so rough for you right now. You are in control...don't forget that. You showed incredible control in what you said last night. You have been great for me and I wish I had some inspiring words for you, but I don't. I will however be thinking of you and praying for you. PLEASE take care of you.


Don't you wish you had that hammer right about now?


sunhine

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi 2many.

You're doing just fine. I know it doesn't feel like it. Sometimes when we start to do things for ourselves for the first time there's a kind of nuclear fallout simply because we are rocking the boat. And sometimes we are extra sensitive to the fallout because we already feel weird and guilty about it in the first place. Keep up the good work! Uneasy moments are typical of change, even when the change is positive. If you let the new you ride this out, you'll start to get used to her. Heck, he might even get used to her... but nobody gets that chance if she knuckles under to his manipulative attempts to maintain the status quo.

You're doing something right.

Hugs,
Smoke

constant

I think that you are doing great!! I know that it doesn't feel like it because if you are like me, I want IMMEDIATE results! Disengaging was the right thing to do.......keeping our mouths closed is VERY hard, but in the long run does bring results. Once he realizes that you aren't going to engage in an arguement, he will quit trying! Of course that doesn't mean that it will be the next time or the next......but it will come!

Hang tough.....you are doing fine! (just keep some glad wrap around that jello and you'll make it though) Great big Hugs to you!

Constant

And by the way....don't you just love Pampered Chef products? The Ultimate Slicer is on of my favorites!!!

Debbie

************{2many}}}}}}}

I think you are doing great too!! It's hard a first but then you do become accustomed to doing things for your benefit and it comes natural!!

Hang in there!!

Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie

2many2count

Gosh darn it!
Thank you all so very much! Nobody understands anything I go through except for y'all! You guys always know the right things to say. I am so glad I found you guys and you all really make a difference in my life.

Thanks again from the bottom of my broke heart~
2many2count


PS I love Pampered Chef Products I'm having a show in two weeks I'm making my husband go stay with his sister

PSS the thought of hammers are starting to sound great

prettywoman

I know it is hard but when you ready to make a change in your life so that you can have a healthy and happy life full of self love and most of all teach your children that there are better ways of living than what you are going through right now you will feel so much better. I am very strong minded on the subject of any child that has to live with such abuse and grow up learning that it is ok to be abused. I am sorry if my words are harsh I mean no disrespect. I believe that if we as adults can't make the changes for ourselves, at least consider your children they did not ask to be here but we have to take care of them and letting them grow up in an alcoholic home full of abuse is not the way. I have not went through half of the stuff that I read on here with my x simply because once I noticed something was wrong and he had abusive tendencies I immediately left. I left before my babies are even born yet and believe me it was the very best thing I have ever done. My life is great and it is a loving and happy one. Learn to love yourself and love your children enough to stop being selfish and take them and raise them in a loving home. They deserve this and so do you. God Bless!!!!

countrygirl

I used to work with disturbed children. I just remembered something and I think it applies.

When we put limits on them, it was usual and expected that they would escalate, the undesireable behavior would go off the scale. We would be consistant. No getting excited, at least not in front of them. No breaks. No negotiations. Some lasted a short time, some a long time, but all eventually got over it and learned to live with the limits.

None of it was easy but I am sure it was easier to do it as a job than to do it in your home. Still, it could be the same thing.

I think you did great. I am sorry you felt so bad inside but maybe like the others said, you held your own and it will get easier. Good for you.

Thank you for sharing. It helps us all.

EmotionalMeg

Hi 2 many!

"He pushed my buttons so hard last night! What am I doing wrong?"

You are SURVIVING. You are doing "normal" things and not feeling shame. You are enjoying life.... thats what you are doing wrong. Your A, on the other hand, is struggling thru everything! He KNOWS he is not succeeding, and YOU are - that can be a hard pill to swallow (mind the pun).

This rang so true for my A and I. It took a loooooonng time, but once I began the process of detaching and letting go, I STOPPED being concerned over my husbands emotions and behavior and just began living my life. Boy was he upset! I think it really brought into perspective the sad state HE was in... it wasn't too long after this that he began to truly seek help.

Anyhow.... just a note from ones whos BEEN THERE
Keep experiencing and enjoying your life, and GOD will take care of him.
Meg

maryl

Hang in there. I have been there too. We almost didn't get married a week before we got married. He pulled the drunk peeing on everything routine.on another occasion My son was 2 months old and he couldn't breath the parametics came at 2:30 in the morning to my husband drunk on the couch. My son had to be hospitalized and he didn't know till the next night because he was so drunk. I have put up with alot my son is now 2 and a half. I love him dearly and have tried to help him but he is the only one who can do it. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it. You are making the right choice in healing yourself. You are the only person you really have contol of. Keep you in my prayers

Lots of hugs!!!