What is WRONG with me?
I'm a Pickle
Thread Starter
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 300
What is WRONG with me?
I know the answer. I am an alcoholic.
Most of you know me and so far I have not been able to quit. I am 2 days post black-out binge and still sick. I overslept yesterday because of being so drunk the night before. I must have fell down because I have abrasions on my elbows and bruises on my back and arms, and a big bump on my head. I woke up wet from what I assume was being outside in the rain. I have no idea what I did out there or if my neighbors saw me or what. I must have crawled in my 93-year-old grandmother's bed and vomited down the side also, from what it looks like. So the kids missed school. Well, one of them goes to a "day treatment" behavioral program. He didn't wake up till noon so he was mad at me and tried calling them and I grabbed the phone and smacked him (not hard) in the back of the head. He ended up calling them and asking them to come get him, and then he told them that I "hit" him and now they are calling social services. My life is such a mess and I hate myself so much. Now it is up to about twice a week that I drink until blacking out. About once a month I miss work because of being drunk. I just feel so helpless and hopeless and just feel like dying.
Most of you know me and so far I have not been able to quit. I am 2 days post black-out binge and still sick. I overslept yesterday because of being so drunk the night before. I must have fell down because I have abrasions on my elbows and bruises on my back and arms, and a big bump on my head. I woke up wet from what I assume was being outside in the rain. I have no idea what I did out there or if my neighbors saw me or what. I must have crawled in my 93-year-old grandmother's bed and vomited down the side also, from what it looks like. So the kids missed school. Well, one of them goes to a "day treatment" behavioral program. He didn't wake up till noon so he was mad at me and tried calling them and I grabbed the phone and smacked him (not hard) in the back of the head. He ended up calling them and asking them to come get him, and then he told them that I "hit" him and now they are calling social services. My life is such a mess and I hate myself so much. Now it is up to about twice a week that I drink until blacking out. About once a month I miss work because of being drunk. I just feel so helpless and hopeless and just feel like dying.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
hey wiscgirl, find some help getting into a detox/treatment program. at the very least, try to get to an aa meeting asap.
this just keeps getting worse for you.
glad you came and posted. blessings, k
this just keeps getting worse for you.
glad you came and posted. blessings, k
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Wiscgirl,
You won't want to hear this but I am glad that social services is getting involved. This sounds like a bad situation for your children.
You can do what you need to do to help yourself and to take your yourself and your children. Talk to your dr, go to a detox centre, get the help you need.
You won't want to hear this but I am glad that social services is getting involved. This sounds like a bad situation for your children.
You can do what you need to do to help yourself and to take your yourself and your children. Talk to your dr, go to a detox centre, get the help you need.
I'm a Pickle
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 300
Just an FYI, I dont beat my kids or anything like that. My kids were sleeping when I was drinking. I am mad at myself for not getting them up for school, however. And I smacked him once (he is almost 15) because of his attitude and swearing all the time. And I slapped him in the face (and not hard, and not drinking or anything like that) about 2 weeks ago because he told his brother "Im going to knock your f***ing teeth out." Other than that, I really dont hit my kids.
However, I AM going to stop drinking, which will solve the other problems. And Im still gonna smack my son if he gets an attitude and swears at me.
However, I AM going to stop drinking, which will solve the other problems. And Im still gonna smack my son if he gets an attitude and swears at me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
There is no excuse for hitting children, or anyone else, for that matter.
When you grow up with violence, you will continue the cycle.
Of course children, especially teens can be frustrating, but there are better ways to deal with that issue.
When you grow up with violence, you will continue the cycle.
Of course children, especially teens can be frustrating, but there are better ways to deal with that issue.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
hey wisc, focus on you today. what can you do today to end the cycle of your addiction? check with insurance (if you have it) for what benefits you have to cover detox/treatment. get a list of addiction therapists and make an appt with one. find out where aa mtgs are in your area today and go to one.
focus on ending it. you can do it, with the right help.
hugs, k
focus on ending it. you can do it, with the right help.
hugs, k
I'm a Pickle
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 300
Why is it so hard to find out where AA meetings are? I dont get the newspaper, and looked in the phone book, you would think there would be a phone number or something, but there isn't?
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