Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Be Who You Are

In recovery; we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.

For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?

Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?

There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves. It becomes time to stop allowing ourselves to be so controlled by others and their expectations and be true to ourselves - regardless of the reaction of others.

Before long, we begin to understand. Some people may go away, but the relationship would have ended anyway. Some people stay and love and respect us more for taking the risk of being whom we are. We begin to achieve intimacy, and relationships that work.

We discover that who we are has always been good enough. It is who we were intended to be.

Today, I will own my power to be myself.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

When I stopped seeing myself as my mother's daughter, my husband's wife, my son's mother or my employer's employee, I got to meet that stranger called "me". It surprised me that I didn't know her, I had no idea what "she" wanted from life.

As I got to know her, I began to like her, warts and all. And as she and I became the new "me" and we learned to be the best person I could be, it began unimportant what others thought of me.

Today I can be who I am and have confidence that this is enough. It's enough for me, and that's all that matters.

Hugs

Ann

This reading today is such a reminder to me of how it was when I began to change.

There was a time, when others who were used to the "old me" were having diffuculty accepting that I had grown and was no longer that people pleasing person, at least not at the expense of losing myself...that I was ready to throw in my chips (9 months at the time, that's exactly how I remember). I thought "is it worth it?" and was ready to give up.

Then I remembered that "I" was worth it, and I have never looked back.

If people cannot love me as the person I am today, the person I have become through my recovery, then they probably didn't love me anyway, just used me as a tool to get what they wanted.

Today I am willing to stand for what I believe, even when I stand alone. Because I believe that I am worth the love and respect back that I give.

Hugs

HKAngel24

Thanks for this Ann.
I needed this reading today.

Being who I am is very scary since I've become lost in all of this. What I think is important for me at the moment is accepting where I am at - that the feelings I have now are a characteristic of where I am at this point in my life- not of my being itself.

Being who I am means believing that I am worthy and lovable. This does not feel real to me, but that is my disease speaking to me. If I believe that I am worthy and lovable and I love myself than I can be me and the opinions of others fall so far down my list of importance. I am guided by my own inner compass and not dictated by society and those around me's values and beliefs.
Sometimes being who I am requires a tremendous amount of courage because who I am is very scared right now. But knowing that who I am is enough and that I don't need to kill myself trying to control others to get love is a relief. This brings some peace to me today.

Ann

Heather, those are powerful words and recovery speaking.

Our first day of recovery, in transition as we grow, and 10 years later....we are who we are and we ARE worthy of love and respect, we ARE enough, and we are blessed.

Hugs