sherryb1010

I had one today.....I went to the apartment with after church today, and we had a picnic in the livingroom floor. He was out of town, clubbing and drinking last night with a non-crack buddy (getting his fix another way). I knew he wouldn't be home and I had already came in and scoped the place out last night. She got to take a nap in her own bed after lunch.

But mid-nap, he came in. He was sober and thrilled to see us, but I had promised the only way I would see him would be if he came to church or met me at a meeting.

I didn't want to jerk her out of bed, so I sat there and listened to it all....He has changed his cell #

WHOOPTEY DOO........tell all these guys they don't have to worry about the twelve steps anymore...they can change their fricken cell numbers

hope213

let him leave & take your home. you are not the addict here. the baby needs her own bed & you deserve your too. i am praying for you & your family. drinking is a drug also, so he is not clean.

Ann

Yes, Sherry, we do have relapses, I know I have had several.

Some of mine weren't too serious, but others almost took me right back to that very dark place I call hell.

Much like an addict cannot be around drugs or think too hard about them, I have to be very careful where I let my mind take me because often it is down that one-way street called regret or fear.

If I remain diligent in my recovery, if I live my program each day, I am not tempted to revisit where I have been and my mind stays in a healthy place.

It takes practice, it takes learning from our mistakes and moving on and it takes courage to pick ourselves up and get back on a good path.

I had two sponsees early in my recovery. One was a double winner who was clean from drugs for 2 years. She relapsed through codependent issues, used and overdosed and died. The other committed suicide. I didn't sponsor for a long time after that. It wasn't my fault they relapsed, but it took an emotional toll from me that I couldn't afford to pay.

So relapses for codies can be more than just a bad day. If can be a matter of life and death.

I don't mean to sound so heavy about this, but I was reminded that codependency can be a very dangerous way of living.

Hugs

sherryb1010

I thought I was coming up with a clever line when I called my meeting with my husband a "relapse" earlier today.....I hadn't even heard of codependency, or any of that. I knew what I was doing when I covered for him, or when I told a friend a story in agony, then later I had to convince her that I was okay, and I was wishing I hadn't even told anybody, cause then I could just stay with my husband and nobody would worry about me...........I didn't know there was a name for my foolishness. I've got a lot of learning to do.

rahsue

just when I think I'm doing real well BAM he relapses and I go nuts. Mothers day he Od'ed and I gave him cpr I did real well back then yet he has a relapse and I go nutso. I have to remember to stay in my recovery mode at all times or I slip. (I've been in slip mode for the last few days but darn it tomorrow I will I repeat I will be better. lol

cece

I understand this as well. I was doing well and then I find my self in worry mode, or lonely mode which leads to denial mode. i want to call my AS and my depressed husband, but I know if i do they will start to weasel their way back into my life without any changes! It's very hard to stay tough and strong.