prairie

I'm not really sure where I'm at right now. Lost comes to mind, I'm so tired I can't even cry anymore. My AAH is drinking again, he says it's only a few but I know where this leads, we all do. It's so hard to watch someone you love so very much make such bad choices justify them to you and keep on going. To top it all off he's decided to take a medication vacation. So he's quit taking all the meds for his PTSD. So in a couple of days I'll get the raging depressed phycotic freak back. I don't know if I can go through that again. All of this of course will lead to increased drinking to deal with his issues and then to the drugs. He has no money and I'm taking all my jewlery to work tomorrow and locking it up. How did my life get to be like this? I'm terrified because tomorrow is Friday and we get paid...I changed the pin number on my bank card today. What kind of person am I going to get tomorrow. How did I get back to the where I started? I'm not sure if this makes sense but I'm all over the place right now, I just needed to share. Thanks.

cece1960

I'm sorry you're feeling this way Prairie...it sounds like you are reaching your own point of "enough!"
eventually, I think it really doesn't matter what the addict says, or what their plan is, we already know where it most likely will land.
This may be a good time to form a plan to end this madness. If something changed for the good, you can always choose to change your plans. Is there somewhere you can stay for the weekend to try and sort things out?
Waiting for life to explode is unfair to you.
You deserve to be happy
(((Hugs)))
Cece

caileesnana

Hope you feel better soon. This roller coaster ride makes ya sick after awhile!

kelsh

I quit drinking and got help for my depression but my Xhusband still drank. He brought me back home after my second marriage ended in a divorce with my second husband being arrested for molesting our daughter. I moved out to my own place and was still drinking some and of course it got worse. I finally decided to get help and quit. I went back to college while I worked half time. I got a BA Degree in psychology and went to work for the county mental health program. We saw each other on the weekends once in a while and he didn't drink while I was there but I could tell he was waiting for me to go home so he could drink.

One night my phone rang and he asked me point blank to move back in. He said that he had quit drinking. I told him I had to talk with my daughter about it and think about it.....Kathy wanted to move back and I did too so we called him back and said yes! She had been stopping to see him on a regular basis so knew he had quit drinking but didn't want to tell me in case he started again.

This was the beginning of getting our own lives back together after nine years of misery for both of us. We did re-marry and now are retired and content and happy. I have been sober 19 years and he has been sober 10 years so it did work for us but that usually is not the case.

I hope things can work out for you. I was the alcoholic and had chronic depression ...my husband was an abuser of alcohol but not mentally ill. He helped me more and more as years went by but I had to get well and he had to quit any drinking for it to work for us.

kelsh

prairie

Thanks, I'm feeling a little more organized in my head right now. I had a fairly decent sleep, the sleeping pills help a lot. It's amazing what rest can do for your head. He's already asked for the bank card this morning, he needs gas. I said no! I know he'll stop by work this morning looking for it again so I need to work on a plan.

kj21

Can yuo just give him $20.00 for gas and keep the bank card? that is what I have to do. good Luck.

hope213

very smart locking up your jewery.make sure all your valuables are secure. i am sorry he is doing this. never no credit cards,bank cards, no nothing. you are pretty smart.prayers for u both