CBrown

Got a fax today about the XABF's car insurance. "Please have RS sign the attached form and mail back." I've faced this before back when we were engaged. He cares so little about real life that he left his insurance expire, ignored the phone calls from the agent, and threw the notice from the state of Florida that his license was going to be suspended in the back seat of the car! Good little codie that I was I got prices on insurance and handled the whole thing.

This is their 2nd request for the signature. Back in July it sounded like they were going to overlook the signature, but now they're requesting again. I immediately put it in "File 13." I could have emailed him, called him, mailed it, called his current b*tch, a number of things, but I pitched it and thought "let the chips fall where they may!"

I'm new to this "non-codie" thing. Were my instincts right? If/when they call me, what is the "non-codie" response to them? "Do you have R's phone number? I would suggest calling him as I do not handle his affairs any longer?"

What a new mindset!

wpgwoman

Considering I am an active practicing codie in my current relationship (slowly working on changing that) I can tell you what I would like to do in that situation.

I would like to think to myself that he is no longer in my life and what happens to him is not my problem or concern anymore. Believe me, I know that would be difficult.

If he is not responsible enough to know that his insurance is expiring, why would you want to add that stress to your life?? Us codies know when to renew our insurance. We don't need to be told by someone else.

If they call you, I would sweetly tell them that you are no longer involved in his life. Wish I could help you, but I don't know where he is or how to reach him.

But then again, that's would I would like to be able to do.

Good luck to you

denny57

Carry on with your day - before you know it, you'll be doing things without seeking outside validation for your instincts. It's lovely.

CBrown

Bless you both ... glad to see my instincts are on a much healthier track!

keepingmyjoy

I agree with wpgwoman...I would inform them that he is no longer at this address or phone number. This is not codie in my opinion, this is taking care of you. You do not need to receive his mail or calls any longer.

CatsPajamas

Its really not codie at all, it's a statement of fact. I did this regarding some of my son's outstanding stuff -

ME: "Here is his new address and phone number"
Collector: "well, we've called and left messages and he doesn't return our calls"
ME: (in my head, NOT out loud - 'welcome to my world')
ME: "My name is not on your invoice nor your contract. He is an adult. Your 'issue' is not with me. Please don't call here anymore. You have his new contact information. I'm OUT of it."

It's all about taking care of yourself. Setting and maintaining boundaries. Standing up for YOUR rights.

HUGS

Cats