Finding a sponsor
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: CT
Posts: 7
Finding a sponsor
Hi Again everyone. I am having a tough morning. This will be 72 hours. I feel like I am going to burst into tears any second. I really cant afford to as I am at work (miracle I still have a job). Im on the emotional roller coaster I guess 
Went to my first meeting in a long time yesterday and it was great. Ive done this before though, gone to a few meetings then relapsed. I have never been able to ask for a temporary sponsor, i just get so uncomfortable at the thought. I have never really been good at making friends. I am determined to get it right this time, so I am going to a beginners meeting tonight and I am just going to say pretty much what I just typed here. Am I on the right track? I think if anyone could share with me thier first experinces in asking for a sponsor i would find it very helpful.
Again I cant thank everyone enough for the help and encouragement I have been shown on this site. Aww christ now im gonna cry. I better just stop typing for a moment...
Went to my first meeting in a long time yesterday and it was great. Ive done this before though, gone to a few meetings then relapsed. I have never been able to ask for a temporary sponsor, i just get so uncomfortable at the thought. I have never really been good at making friends. I am determined to get it right this time, so I am going to a beginners meeting tonight and I am just going to say pretty much what I just typed here. Am I on the right track? I think if anyone could share with me thier first experinces in asking for a sponsor i would find it very helpful.Again I cant thank everyone enough for the help and encouragement I have been shown on this site. Aww christ now im gonna cry. I better just stop typing for a moment...
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
First I want to welcome you here! So glad that you have found us!
I remember my first experience that I was so scared that my little girl went up and asked this guy to be my sponsor and he is still my sponsor as of today. I have a few sponsors so I guess it is all good.
Actually We usually are responsible for asking for sponsors and yet at the same time our groups are responsible as well to make sure that newcomers have a sponsor or at least a temp one.
I would just make sure that you can connect with someone first. Jumping into someone that you have nothing in common can draw you back also from my own experience. You can start off with a sponsor on the Internet as well. I did that at first and it really did help me.
Posting here also is kindof like that because you will get a lot of feedback especially here at SR.
Hope that helps
I don't know if I really answered your question or not.
I remember my first experience that I was so scared that my little girl went up and asked this guy to be my sponsor and he is still my sponsor as of today. I have a few sponsors so I guess it is all good.
Actually We usually are responsible for asking for sponsors and yet at the same time our groups are responsible as well to make sure that newcomers have a sponsor or at least a temp one.
I would just make sure that you can connect with someone first. Jumping into someone that you have nothing in common can draw you back also from my own experience. You can start off with a sponsor on the Internet as well. I did that at first and it really did help me.
Posting here also is kindof like that because you will get a lot of feedback especially here at SR.
Hope that helps
I don't know if I really answered your question or not.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Yes, it's important to find a sponsor...but, only being sober for 72 hours, and having gone to your first meeting in a long time, may be a bit premature. How can you possibly have heard enough from anyone to know whether or not you would click?
Make a lot of meetings for the next month while maintaining your sobriety...sit back, relax, and pay close attention. By the end of the month, you should have a pretty good idea who has at least a year or two of continuous sobriety, and who is working a good program. In the meantime, get a phone network started, and get used to calling other recovering alcoholics...maybe to meet up at a meeting, or go for coffee, etc. It will make it easier when you're prepared to make that leap of faith and actually ask someone if they'll be willing to sponsor you. Oh, BTW...that month should give prospective sponsors a chance to get to know you a bit, too.
Make a lot of meetings for the next month while maintaining your sobriety...sit back, relax, and pay close attention. By the end of the month, you should have a pretty good idea who has at least a year or two of continuous sobriety, and who is working a good program. In the meantime, get a phone network started, and get used to calling other recovering alcoholics...maybe to meet up at a meeting, or go for coffee, etc. It will make it easier when you're prepared to make that leap of faith and actually ask someone if they'll be willing to sponsor you. Oh, BTW...that month should give prospective sponsors a chance to get to know you a bit, too.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Downhill just this old drunks opinion/experience, I was scared crapless of drinking again when I got out of detox, in detox they told me if I wanted a chance to stay sober to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.
Well the day I got out of detox I went to a meeting and asked a guy I did not know from Adam to be my sponsor........ he told me NO!!!!! But he said he would be my temporary sponsor and help me out in regards to AA and what I should be looking for in a primary sponsor.
Just my opinion, but if I had to do it over again (I pray not) I would get a temporary sponsor first and take my time finding a primary sponsor.
Well the day I got out of detox I went to a meeting and asked a guy I did not know from Adam to be my sponsor........ he told me NO!!!!! But he said he would be my temporary sponsor and help me out in regards to AA and what I should be looking for in a primary sponsor.
Just my opinion, but if I had to do it over again (I pray not) I would get a temporary sponsor first and take my time finding a primary sponsor.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
I will echo Taz, I have been a "temp" sponsor to several fellows and it has always been with the mind to get to know the individual and then HELP them decide what they NEED in a sponsor to help them along this journey of sober living.
Remember that you will NOT find a potential sponsor that doesn't have a history of alcohol abuse!! In other words it isn't like you are asking the person in the grocery checkstand ahead of you to be your AA sponsor. Most of us are pretty sure why everyone in those meetings is there, including ourselves.
If the first person you ask turns you down cold, try the next one. IF THE BAR WAS CLOSED, DID YOU JUST GO HOME, OR DID YOU FIND ANOTHER?
Jon
Remember that you will NOT find a potential sponsor that doesn't have a history of alcohol abuse!! In other words it isn't like you are asking the person in the grocery checkstand ahead of you to be your AA sponsor. Most of us are pretty sure why everyone in those meetings is there, including ourselves.
If the first person you ask turns you down cold, try the next one. IF THE BAR WAS CLOSED, DID YOU JUST GO HOME, OR DID YOU FIND ANOTHER?
Jon
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
If the first person you ask turns you down cold, try the next one. IF THE BAR WAS CLOSED, DID YOU JUST GO HOME, OR DID YOU FIND ANOTHER?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
