also new
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, OH
Posts: 3
also new
i don't even know how to start but with my most earnest question~~is there hope? my story is long and a little odd and full of those chances for different outcomes ignored until i'm looking for help. i also need to know if there are any naranon meetings in dayton. no, they don't have any listed on their page, and i find it difficult to believe that there aren't any available. i guess that's as much as i can say for now. back to reading the postings now that i've got my tissues.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: GA
Posts: 49
Hi. Yes there is hope - hope that you will feel better, no matter which "outcome" may come to pass.
Naranon doesn't seem quite as ubiquitous as Alanon, and many people attend alanon meetings since the principle are the same and, afterall, alcohol is just another drug. I found this website online which might help.
http://www.al-anondaytonoh.org/
Be well, and look to take care of yourself.
LH
Naranon doesn't seem quite as ubiquitous as Alanon, and many people attend alanon meetings since the principle are the same and, afterall, alcohol is just another drug. I found this website online which might help.
http://www.al-anondaytonoh.org/
Be well, and look to take care of yourself.
LH
Last edited by LearningHusband; 09-26-2007 at 02:31 PM. Reason: spelling
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
ihope,
We're full of hope.
And we're all here for you.
There aren't any Naranon meetings in my area either, so I attend Alanon, which works for me, perhaps try a few meetings, and see how you feel.
Guaranteed to make you feel better, I promise.
Hugs,
We're full of hope.
And we're all here for you.
There aren't any Naranon meetings in my area either, so I attend Alanon, which works for me, perhaps try a few meetings, and see how you feel.
Guaranteed to make you feel better, I promise.
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to S.R., ihope.. there is hope for our addicts.there is hope but they have got to want to get better. they have got to want it for themselves & they can do it.all we can do is take care of ourselves.read the stickys at the top of the forum,especilly "what addicts do."keep coming back,there is lots of support here.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Yes...there's always hope and as Moose said "we're full of it" (or something to that effect 
My son doesn't lead NEAR the life he did when I arrived here.
He's not perfect...and I'd love to change a few things about him...but I can't.
It took me a while to understand that.
But he's made tremendous progress, and I have faith and hope that he will continue to grow.
I "know" there's hope because I know that I have changed, my life has changed and when I first came here I didn't see the possiblities for my future.
Other than the occassional slip backwards or a bad bout with hormones...I'm happy.
I NEVER thought that possible just a few years ago.
I changed what I could...me...and my role in my son's life.
Stick around, read some of the stickies up above.
We're here if you care to share more,
(((Hugs)))
Cece
My son doesn't lead NEAR the life he did when I arrived here.
He's not perfect...and I'd love to change a few things about him...but I can't.
It took me a while to understand that.
But he's made tremendous progress, and I have faith and hope that he will continue to grow.
I "know" there's hope because I know that I have changed, my life has changed and when I first came here I didn't see the possiblities for my future.
Other than the occassional slip backwards or a bad bout with hormones...I'm happy.
I NEVER thought that possible just a few years ago.
I changed what I could...me...and my role in my son's life.
Stick around, read some of the stickies up above.
We're here if you care to share more,
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Yes, there is always hope!
We're glad you've joined us. There are lovely folks here who understand how you are feeling, so just make yourself at home.
And find an Al Anon meeting in your area. Al Anon/Nar Anon ... basically the same difference because a drug is a drug is a drug. Best thing I ever did was start attending Al Anon. My life is so much better because of what I've learned in those meetings.
Hope to see you around some more.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
We're glad you've joined us. There are lovely folks here who understand how you are feeling, so just make yourself at home.
And find an Al Anon meeting in your area. Al Anon/Nar Anon ... basically the same difference because a drug is a drug is a drug. Best thing I ever did was start attending Al Anon. My life is so much better because of what I've learned in those meetings.
Hope to see you around some more.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You betcha there's hope! Right here on this forum we have a number of double winners (AA and Alanon) and if you scroll up a few forums to AA and NA forums you'll meet a bunch of wonderful people who never gave up and found recovery.
I haven't seen or heard from my son in over 3 years, but I keep that candle of hope burning in my heart every day. It's in a special place right next to faith.
Some find it sooner than others, some never find it at all....but the thing is, there is absolutely no way of knowing which category our loved ones fall into.
So we hope. And pray.
Hugs
I haven't seen or heard from my son in over 3 years, but I keep that candle of hope burning in my heart every day. It's in a special place right next to faith.
Some find it sooner than others, some never find it at all....but the thing is, there is absolutely no way of knowing which category our loved ones fall into.
So we hope. And pray.
Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Welcome...Yes there is hope...so much hope for addicts and for us...I've moved from the depths of despair to the greatest serenity I've expereinced in my life within the last 18 months. I can not say I am glad for all that has happened, but I am incredibly grateful for recovery. I hope you will give Alanon a try if you can not find Naranon.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
I didnt read all the responses so forgive me if I repeat something already said..............
but maybe you can try looking into
Coda meetings
or families anon
or just do a search for family support/addiction and see what comes up in your area!!!
good luck
and PS yes I believe there is always room for hope
but maybe you can try looking into
Coda meetings
or families anon
or just do a search for family support/addiction and see what comes up in your area!!!
good luck
and PS yes I believe there is always room for hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, OH
Posts: 3
thank you
i seem to pick addicts. my first (ex)husband was a coke addict. did i know this when i married him? no, not really, i knew he did coke. i didn't know he couldn't stop. we were married 18 months.
my second (ex)husband is an alcoholic. after 13 1/2 years of having my personality, life, soul, sucked out of me, i turned to the internet for 'human' interaction. i remembered who i had been, the fun-loving, funny woman who'd gotten lost. the alcoholism was cyclical. he's stop for a while when i'd get fed up with it. before i'd reach the end of my rope, i'd contemplate suicide and go on anti-depressants. then i'd break, we'd have a fight, and he'd quit for a while. the last time i broke he said, 'maybe you need to go back on your medicine again.' when i asked him for the divorce, he said, 'i was waiting for you to tell me to stop drinking again.'
so now, i've done it again. i met a man on the internet. we talked for 4 months. drug use came up as a topic once. he said he'd done a lot when he was a teenager, some pot, and got hooked on oxycontin when he was in a bad construction accident, but his doctor caught on and got him off it. oh, i think it's the lies i hate the worst.
anyway, we met, had a fabulous time. i moved to his state (totally coincidentally, i swear!), and we've now been living together for a year. i'm pretty sure he's been smoking pot intermittantly, but he's had 2 complete breakdowns involving oxycontin at least.
my screen name should be pollyanna. i've had little to no exposure to illegal drugs or people who use them. and the lies. it tears me up. i haven't gone back to the antidepressants, but i probably should. he went to his first ever NA meeting Tuesday. He's going again tonight. i know that he hates himself. will NA help with that? i can't seem to do anything, and i've given up except for suggesting pages with NA schedules and asking him if he's ok today. i love him very much. he wants to love me, i believe that. i guess that's why i ask if there's hope. people can stay clean, can't they? i'm so damn naiive. and i feel so stupid. i'm going to look for AA meetings as there aren't any NA meetings here. thank you for the invitation to Cinci, but i can't get there tomorrow. we both have kids and homecoming's tomorrow. i guess that's it for now. thank you, everyone, for writing. thank you for this site.
my second (ex)husband is an alcoholic. after 13 1/2 years of having my personality, life, soul, sucked out of me, i turned to the internet for 'human' interaction. i remembered who i had been, the fun-loving, funny woman who'd gotten lost. the alcoholism was cyclical. he's stop for a while when i'd get fed up with it. before i'd reach the end of my rope, i'd contemplate suicide and go on anti-depressants. then i'd break, we'd have a fight, and he'd quit for a while. the last time i broke he said, 'maybe you need to go back on your medicine again.' when i asked him for the divorce, he said, 'i was waiting for you to tell me to stop drinking again.'
so now, i've done it again. i met a man on the internet. we talked for 4 months. drug use came up as a topic once. he said he'd done a lot when he was a teenager, some pot, and got hooked on oxycontin when he was in a bad construction accident, but his doctor caught on and got him off it. oh, i think it's the lies i hate the worst.
anyway, we met, had a fabulous time. i moved to his state (totally coincidentally, i swear!), and we've now been living together for a year. i'm pretty sure he's been smoking pot intermittantly, but he's had 2 complete breakdowns involving oxycontin at least.
my screen name should be pollyanna. i've had little to no exposure to illegal drugs or people who use them. and the lies. it tears me up. i haven't gone back to the antidepressants, but i probably should. he went to his first ever NA meeting Tuesday. He's going again tonight. i know that he hates himself. will NA help with that? i can't seem to do anything, and i've given up except for suggesting pages with NA schedules and asking him if he's ok today. i love him very much. he wants to love me, i believe that. i guess that's why i ask if there's hope. people can stay clean, can't they? i'm so damn naiive. and i feel so stupid. i'm going to look for AA meetings as there aren't any NA meetings here. thank you for the invitation to Cinci, but i can't get there tomorrow. we both have kids and homecoming's tomorrow. i guess that's it for now. thank you, everyone, for writing. thank you for this site.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hello ihope,
There is always hope for us.
I too ended up with substance abusers. It took me a while to figure out that pattern. I seemed to have a radar for them, so even if it wasn't obvious that they WERE, it always turned out that they were.
While there was the chance that this would be my pattern for life, I went deep and did a lot of work on myself, including AlAnon meetings (we didn't have a NarAnon either), some counseling, lots of reading, and this forum.
And now I can tell you this:
I know I don't want to be with anyone who does drugs. Period. I'm done.
I know my life's got more value than just whatever man I find myself in. I'm bigger than my relationships.
I know I'll never commit suicide because of someone else's actions or opinions.
I know there's joy out there for me.
Notice I don't say "I hope..." I know. But it took some work, and taking the focus off "him" and off "us" and onto "me" so I could get healthy in my head. There's always hope that you will choose a similar path that will stop this pattern in my life. I'd love to have you out here with me...it's SO much better than where I was.
Are there Al-Anon meetings near you? Those are a good backup if you can't get close to a Nar-Anon meeting.
Hugs,
Margaret
There is always hope for us.
I too ended up with substance abusers. It took me a while to figure out that pattern. I seemed to have a radar for them, so even if it wasn't obvious that they WERE, it always turned out that they were.
While there was the chance that this would be my pattern for life, I went deep and did a lot of work on myself, including AlAnon meetings (we didn't have a NarAnon either), some counseling, lots of reading, and this forum.
And now I can tell you this:
I know I don't want to be with anyone who does drugs. Period. I'm done.
I know my life's got more value than just whatever man I find myself in. I'm bigger than my relationships.
I know I'll never commit suicide because of someone else's actions or opinions.
I know there's joy out there for me.
Notice I don't say "I hope..." I know. But it took some work, and taking the focus off "him" and off "us" and onto "me" so I could get healthy in my head. There's always hope that you will choose a similar path that will stop this pattern in my life. I'd love to have you out here with me...it's SO much better than where I was.
Are there Al-Anon meetings near you? Those are a good backup if you can't get close to a Nar-Anon meeting.
Hugs,
Margaret
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 55
Well, my husband was meeting with a bunch of Alcoholics at the VA, and he didn't like the idea that no one was going thru the same thing he was. (but, he isn't at the point in his life where is is ready for change either....obviously)
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
welcome to SR
of course there's hope, theres always hope.
There is a meeting which I will one day attend (lol, I'm still too chicken to go) its not nar anon its called Drug awareness for friends and families of addicts. If you check with a church or a social group they may point you in the direction of a meeting like that.
good luck
of course there's hope, theres always hope.
There is a meeting which I will one day attend (lol, I'm still too chicken to go) its not nar anon its called Drug awareness for friends and families of addicts. If you check with a church or a social group they may point you in the direction of a meeting like that.
good luck
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Originally Posted by sherryb1010 
Well, my husband was meeting with a bunch of Alcoholics at the VA, and he didn't like the idea that no one was going thru the same thing he was. (but, he isn't at the point in his life where is is ready for change either....obviously)
Both naranon and alanon are for people who are going through hell and want to find ways to cope. There are a lot of similarities in the conversations. Anyway, nobody forces you to say why you're there (at least they didn't to me, and shouldn't); it's just assumed you need help and support.
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