simplysober

hi everybody

i had posted a really long post earlier for my one month thingy and i have no idea where the hell it went lol

well- obviously i made it 30 days, thats my post

Question

has anyone else started to really see things for the first time at this point?
Ive been with a guy for over 2 years and i was drunk all thru that time, i guess, no i know, i saw things then- but the drinking made everything a tolerable blur sorta.

here i am 30 days sober and its like ive been hit with a huge rock of emotions and not knowing how to deal with them, I dont know how to be me sober.

i mean, i can be me with my kids, friends etc. just not my boyfriend.

talk about 2 years worth of wearing beer goggles (well wine for me)

im nervous because it is so soon into my recovery and i dont trust my own feelings, i never really did.
but they are SHOUTING at me now. its weird

in 30 days i learned i do not like to sit on opposite sides of my couch and watch tv while he talks to my cat (pathethic i know, lol)

i learned i like to be seen, im tired of being invisible. i like to be heard, i like to talk to listen to communicate and wow, there is none of that going on here.

i learned its not okay for me to wait til 11 or 12 pm for him to get done with his stuff and have him come over to sit on my couch, eat my food, etc etc

i learned that i am with another passive agressive personality- what a circle of those in my life

i learned that i dont like having to wait til 2 2;30 in the afternoon for him to wakeup

get this, he doesnt even drink or use anything at all


hes naturally that way.

this is the last thing i wanted to post for my one months worth of sobriety lol

Okay so basically how many of you have ended relationships because you finally SAW everything when you sobered up?

i have a feeling im not alone in this for some reason

is it that we finally start to have to feel what we are feeling? and deal with things that we once let the bottle take care of>? (in my case a box of wine)

any suggestions advice on this would be greatly appreciated

and YAY me for 30 freaking days sober!

hugs
maria

jinxblu

Wow....32 days here and I know exactly what you are going thru!!! ( Met my BF when I was heavily drinking....He's a teetoteler). However, he's stayed with me through so much crap ( mine) and I am so grateful in so many ways........Anyway, they say not to make any major decisions your first year of sobriety and I want to give him/us a chance and see what sobriety does to our relationship.

janied

Good question! I think we're starting to feel what we numbed with alcohol (or whatever our DOC was).

I understand what you're going through. You'll figure it out. I'll figure it out.

Luckyv2

Relationships that you are in are hard to deal with from what I have heard. I don't have any advice or experience to offer to you with that being in recovery. I have avoided those parts in order for me to find myself. I am sure if you just keep doing what you are doing right now and keeping your recovery first and for most everything else will work itself out.

Congrats on 32 days!!!! that is awesome and shows that it works when we work it! My name is Vic and I am an Addict

CarolD

simplysober

thankyou sooooooooooooooooo much everybody- im over analyzing things because im starting to actually feel new things- i think im gonna just sit back and enjoy the ride wherever it takes me, as long as im sober

hugs
maria

Aysha

First of all..Great job on 30...Keep it up!!!
I am with Chance on this one. I stay by myself because I basically dont need anymore drama in my life. And I am not even alright so how am I going to make something work with someone else?
Plus I like being alone for now.
So I really dont have any advice on that.

Rowan

Congrats on your 30 days, Maria. The fog begins to lift and continues to do so, little by little. Keep posting here, and others, I'm sure, will always be able to identify and share their own experiences.

parentrecovers

way to go!

Jomey

Congratulations Maria! I am so happy for you! I recently passed the 30 day mark myself, and I understand completely what you are saying about the onslaught of emotions. For a while around 20 days, I thought I was going nuts! Everything was soooo overwhelming and intense because I was dealing with things all the time - not numbing out at night with drinks. I think you are on the right track with letting your feelings come, examining them and making decisions. It is early in recovery for both of us, so I don't quite know what to tell you except I understand, and I am very happy for you on your sober time. Keep working on yourself and I am sure the answers will come.

chicago

ahhh yes emotion. i was hit with an onslaught of emotion early on. i had numbed myself for years. feelings started surfacing in waves. it means you're healing! emotionally i spanned the gammet...from joy, pain, and sadness to anger and gratitude. the healing process is finally underway with you. this is a good thing! just stay in the day....one day at a time. sounds cheesy but its changed my life like no other catch phrase ever has. heal away the pain!

fallen17star

I know what you mean... I felt the same way around my 30 days. It's a scary thought leaving them because youve been with them for so long... but it sounds like he might have differet goals in life and honey you need to focus on yourself. Whatever you do don't let yourself slip into somthing you dont want to be b/c of a man! If you ever need anyone to talk to Im here. Also, CONGRATS on your 30!!!!!!!!