Jersey Nonny

This being a forum primarily devoted to Newcomers, when you read someone mentioning many years of continuous sobriety, does it give you hope/inspiration...or, are you so awestruck, you feel intimidated/fearful.

I can remember being at the AA Anniversary of a 20-year celebrant, and thinking, "No way"...it seemed so unattainable to me. Fortunately, I got to know many, many Oldtimers in my area...lots of them belonged to the Al-Anon Club in Newark, which was about 40 years old then.

Here I am, almost 28 years later, and I still think, "No way"...even to me the number seems unbelievable. But, it didn't happen suddenly...it took all those many days, one at a time.

jinxblu

Gosh....how can I put this??? When I got serious about attending an AA and really participating ( i.e., getting a sponser, working the steps) the group that happened to be nearest to me started off their meetings ( after all the pre-ambles, of course) with "Hi, my name is _____ and my sobriety date is__________. OMG!!! I almost walked out.....here I was with barely 24hrs and I'm supposed to announce this after half the room had 10, 15, 20+ years???? I have attended various AA's in the past and they had never announced their sobriety dates so this really shook me. But, I was determined and have kept going and my views on this change daily....sometimes I'm inspired, sometimes jealous, sometimes I get down by thinking ( wrongly) that I have a long way to go to catch up....and then someone comes along whose relapsed after 5,7 15 yrs and yet they have the balls to admit it and, I guess, for me....well, all we really have is today. Although I must admit that I really admire the most those that just simply state thier name and say " I am sober today"....wow, how awesome is that!!!!!!!!!!!

bugsworth

It is truly inspirational! That is why I keep going to meetings, I need to see the success as well as the pain.

I am glad you mentioned that this does not come suddenly...patience is key..I walked for 13 years into the woods...Thank goodness I am sober so the walk out is bound to be eaiser..and shorter!

I have seen in AA people give up...feed into the powerlessness as if fighting is useless, and that to be honest scares me to the bone. Thankfully I have found peace with the word powerlessness.

I am a life worth saving...I have the power to save myself...

kelsh

Hi Jersy Nonny,

I listened to a lady in our women's group tell how it was for her and her story was the same as mine......she had six years of sobriety and I was starting on my six months....it seemed impossible to me to think of all those years without drinking. I learned then that you only have to do it One Day at a Time and that worked for me.





I live in a small rural community so everyone knows everyone. I do enjoy online recovery groups and forums. I quit drinking in 1988 and it seems impossible that 19 years have gone by.




kelsh

Jersey Nonny

Welcome...both the Oldtimers and the Newtimers!

I used to celebrate at my home group with a guy named Bill who had five more years of sobriety. At his 25th, someone asked him how he did it. He said, "I didn't drink...I made meetings...and, I didn't die." That's really the epitome of Keep It Simple!

rloomer

I have 9 days today and I'll tell you it really is an inspiration. I look at what some of these guys (and gals) are saying about the great things happening to them all the time and I think to myself, " yeah I want that. Now how do I get it" So all I'm doing is making the first move. " Ok God, Your move "

Jersey Nonny

Quote:

I look at what some of these guys (and gals) are saying about the great things happening to them all the time and I think to myself, " yeah I want that.

OK...our primary purpose is to stay sober and to help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

But, once you have some clean and sober time put together, what goals and/or dreams of a lifetime would you like to achieve. It can be something as simple as losing a few pounds, or something as grand as a trip around the world...what do you hope to accomplish in sobriety that you would most likely never have happen as an active alcoholic/addict?

Kellye C

While I greatly admire those who have been sober for many years and WORK A PROGRAM I have begun to look more at the quality of sobriety vs the number of years without a drink. I am sorry to say that in my home group there are people with lots of years (one with 19 and one with about 34 and some with 10 or more) that if anything are examples of what I DON"T WANT and what NOT to do. Then there are some with as few as 5 years, some with 10+, some with 15+ and some with 25+ that are wonderful examples of living life on life's terms and embracing the program. Those people I greatly admire. I have also seen those with multiple years who relapse and then come back in. I also admire the courage it takes to do that and do not look down on those individuals.

In the beginning the sheer number of years was enough to impress me but as I have grown in the program I prefer to see the quality of sobriety over the quantity. Those who have both totally ROCK!!! NJ Nonny I've seen you post for a while and I consider you a big inspiration!!!

Hugs,
Kellye C

scaredykat

For me its a little of both. I have quite a few friends in AA that are over 13 years sober. They were my friends all those years ago that made it when i was in the rooms the first time and had almost 2 years. I remember some of them when they were new.

Now here I am again after all these years just coming back again. Its a lot harder for me this time. I even got my sponsor back from all those years ago. She is now 29 years sober.

I'm really happy my old friends are still in the rooms, but at the same time I get scared that I'll never make it and be like them. I don't know if i would of went back at all if it wasn't for SR.

Barb

Octoman

Hearing from those who have a long time in recovery is very important for me. It shows that it can be done and that life can be enjoyed along the way. I hav no doubt that if I only ever heard from people who had short recoveries or relapses I would lose hope.
I guess I get comfort and support from those at the same stage as me as we go through it together and I get hope and guidance to those that have stayed sober for a long time.

Jersey Nonny

I agree that it's quality, and not quantity, that counts most. And, I do believe there are many who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. But, try not to judge them too harshly...although there's more to "sobriety" than simply putting the plug in the jug, you can always learn from the example of others. Even if it's only to say, "I know it's possible to stay away from one drink a day at a time...it's been proven to me. Now, I can follow the example of those sober alcoholics I really
admire."

I once asked a gal to be my sponsor, without realizing that, because she had relapsed after several years, she now actually had less time sober than I did; but, I thought she worked a really good program, and I was hoping to learn a lot from her. It was OK for a while...until she started doing a lot of things that a "sober" person wouldn't...she wasn't drinking, but she might as well have been. She was the only sponsor I ever "fired"...actually, I just detached from her, and I don't think she even noticed, she was so busy "doing her thing".

I haven't seen her in years, but I've heard her life spiralled so out of control that her husband divorced her and got custody of their two kids. That was a person I truly admired, and I can only pray that she will somehow find her way back. We need to be careful not to put anyone up on a pedestal...it's so easy for them to fall off...and, then we wonder what happened, and "why doesn't the program work?" It's never the program that fails.

Luckyv2

I have accumulated one year and a few months. This is a record for this addict since I joins SR and I am still on the path of recovery Just For Today. I have NEVER acquired two years consecutive but as long as I keep doing what I have been doing for today I should be OK

nogard

... haven't used any drugs today ....