brokenwing

Well, I did it, I have detached from AH. He called yesterday wanting to see me a our daughter (4yr) after a 8 day binge. He was all apologetic until I told him that he wasn't going to be able to see us. Then he blew a gasket. Starting yelling at me at how I'm a control freak and making it worse for her. Yeah right!! I knew it was pointless trying to get him to see my point. So I told him to stop calling here and hung up. I feel good about that. Usually I waste energy and my time on him which gets me nowhere anyways. And I was right. His mom called me today saying that he is gone again. This will be his 3rd binge since Sept 28. I have a real bad feeling that something bad is going to happen this time. He has a 1000.00 a day habit. I mean how many days can a body withstand such abuse. He already spent
over 13000.00 in less than a month. This is why I am resentful. I work for peanuts and this money could really help us.
I really hate his addiction as I am 5 months pg working full time and raising a 4yr old all on my own. It sucks. I wish things could be different. I will carry on I know that. But its the hardest thing to accept.
Sorry I just needed to vent.
Jackie (hanging in)

duet_4-8

Hi,
I'm sorry you are going through that. I have been there-pregnant with another small child and working while my (now)exah was out partying night after night. It does suck.

Read all you can here, and if you can find an nar-anon or al-anon meeting, check it out.

There is light at the end of the tunnel when you focus on yourself and your own recovery and let the addict go. Easier said than done, I know, but it is the only way.

((((hugs)))) from the Tennessee mountains!

LearningHusband

Being a man, I certainly don't know what it's like to be pregnant, but I do know what it's like having an addict spouse (now ex) and raising a kid on my own. My son is now 7, but he was 4 when we divorced and I have really raised him myself since he was 2. My ex-wife was happy to just "play mommie" when she felt like it and I did the real work while she went on the never ending hunt for pills.

However, I look at my life with my son today - the unbelievable amount of time he and I share, the interaction I have by coaching soccer, helping at school, eating dinner every night with him, taking him to school every day - I could go on. I have the blessing of parenthood that my ex-wife can't even imagine. She sees him a couple times a week and acts more like a playmate than a mother. I'm not saying that I dont' get tired or frustrated some times, but you couldn't pay me to be in her shoes. I can't imagine what it will be like if she ever does get sober and realizes the hurt she's caused him. I am so grateful for the chance that I have to parent the way I do and, believe it or not, have some compassion (maybe it's pity) for my ex since she is simply incapable of experiencing that type of joy due to the drugs. I'll take my life any day!

Stay strong and may God bless you, your 4 year old, and your soon to arrive baby!

hope213

life does suck sometimes. i understand how you feel. there is nothing you can do but do the best you can & take care of yourself. you have a future that can be wonderful.right now count your blessing that you do have a life & a future. as of now your a.h. doesn't.it is only going to get worse for him & so much better for you. take it one day at a time, we are all here for you & you can vent all you want to. keep coming back, i care,hope