Confused...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: texas
Posts: 2
Confused...
I originally got on here for my dad, he is a severe alcoholic in and out of rehab forever ,he is 60 years old..was a firefighter, got injured when I was born in 1971..the firefighters would get some drinks when they got off their shift and go home to sleep. I grew up and slowly watched my dad kill himself. He has been to rehab and detox almost 10 times, he wont give it up, he is the nice giggly alcoholic, but he is loosing his mind, he is showiing signs of dementia. He cant remeber things or find things as he did before. He belives that if he drinks beer only he will be ok...he thinks that its only when he drinks vodka he messes up& hurts himself. I dont see hope for him, aa didnt help, he doesnt want to change..so we the family cant make him. so, this brings me to myself and my siblings. we drink too not like he does, but its scary. will we be him? is it genetic? I have a hard time sleeping at night and coping with stress and have my few drinks at night? But it hasnt grabbed me. we have a family of drinkers, none are severe accept my father...who needs help...we have tried everyting...I have so many questions and dont know where to turn to save his life...Thanks for listening
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi and Welcome,
You are wise to be very cautious, because in my opinion there is a genetic component. It certainly doesn't mean for sure you'll become an alcoholic if you come from such a family, but it makes you much more vulnerable than others. My mother was an alcoholic, as was her sister and her Dad. I showed no interest in drinking and literally almost never drank Then, at age 45, I chose alcohol to help me sleep during an extremely stressful time. Within weeks I was hooked and shocked. I played the 'trying to moderate' game for a long time before I quit.
For your Dad, you have been a supportive family by the sound of it and you can't do much more. He needs to really want to stop. He needs the motivation.
If you like, check out the Friends and Families forums here on this board where you can also find lots of support.
You are wise to be very cautious, because in my opinion there is a genetic component. It certainly doesn't mean for sure you'll become an alcoholic if you come from such a family, but it makes you much more vulnerable than others. My mother was an alcoholic, as was her sister and her Dad. I showed no interest in drinking and literally almost never drank Then, at age 45, I chose alcohol to help me sleep during an extremely stressful time. Within weeks I was hooked and shocked. I played the 'trying to moderate' game for a long time before I quit.
For your Dad, you have been a supportive family by the sound of it and you can't do much more. He needs to really want to stop. He needs the motivation.
If you like, check out the Friends and Families forums here on this board where you can also find lots of support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
Hi Zazu
I agree with Anna that there is a genetic element to this. Many alcoholics on this forum come from acoholic families.
I think if you are questioning your drinking habits it should be a red flag. Is the drink really worth the risk? If you read the threads here you will see what awaits you if you get this one wrong. I come from an alcoholic family and I was warned but didn't listen. I thought I would drink until I had a problem and then stop. Unfortunatley that problem turned out to be not being able to stop. Ironic really. If I could roll back the calendar would I quit knowing what I know now? Hell yes! No amount of good times can make up for what I put my body and mind through and now the lifelone work I face to maintain my recovery.
Good luck in making the right choice. Only you can determine what that is.
Oct
I agree with Anna that there is a genetic element to this. Many alcoholics on this forum come from acoholic families.
I think if you are questioning your drinking habits it should be a red flag. Is the drink really worth the risk? If you read the threads here you will see what awaits you if you get this one wrong. I come from an alcoholic family and I was warned but didn't listen. I thought I would drink until I had a problem and then stop. Unfortunatley that problem turned out to be not being able to stop. Ironic really. If I could roll back the calendar would I quit knowing what I know now? Hell yes! No amount of good times can make up for what I put my body and mind through and now the lifelone work I face to maintain my recovery.
Good luck in making the right choice. Only you can determine what that is.
Oct
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Welcome to Sr...
[QUOTE=zazu2007;1496602we drink too not like he does, but its scary. will we be him? is it genetic? I have a hard time sleeping at night and coping with stress and have my few drinks at night? Thanks for listening[/QUOTE]
I come from a lengthy line of alcoholism...I have discovered alcoholism was rampant in my family dating back one hundred and fifty years ago...Both my parents were alcoholics and died from the disease. I have three sisters, all of us are addicted to mind altering substances...I have three brothers who are also addicted...
I also feel enviormental issues play a part...
So glad you found us, keep posting...
I come from a lengthy line of alcoholism...I have discovered alcoholism was rampant in my family dating back one hundred and fifty years ago...Both my parents were alcoholics and died from the disease. I have three sisters, all of us are addicted to mind altering substances...I have three brothers who are also addicted...
I also feel enviormental issues play a part...
So glad you found us, keep posting...
trying to get it..
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by 51anna 
Hi and Welcome,
You are wise to be very cautious, because in my opinion there is a genetic component. It certainly doesn't mean for sure you'll become an alcoholic if you come from such a family, but it makes you much more vulnerable than others. My mother was an alcoholic, as was her sister and her Dad. I showed no interest in drinking and literally almost never drank Then, at age 45, I chose alcohol to help me sleep during an extremely stressful time. Within weeks I was hooked and shocked. I played the 'trying to moderate' game for a long time before I quit.
For your Dad, you have been a supportive family by the sound of it and you can't do much more. He needs to really want to stop. He needs the motivation.
If you like, check out the Friends and Families forums here on this board where you can also find lots of support.
You are wise to be very cautious, because in my opinion there is a genetic component. It certainly doesn't mean for sure you'll become an alcoholic if you come from such a family, but it makes you much more vulnerable than others. My mother was an alcoholic, as was her sister and her Dad. I showed no interest in drinking and literally almost never drank Then, at age 45, I chose alcohol to help me sleep during an extremely stressful time. Within weeks I was hooked and shocked. I played the 'trying to moderate' game for a long time before I quit.
For your Dad, you have been a supportive family by the sound of it and you can't do much more. He needs to really want to stop. He needs the motivation.
If you like, check out the Friends and Families forums here on this board where you can also find lots of support.
your post really spoke to me anna...I had "handled" the drinking I was doing for years.......then in the last 4 years (I am 47) ...I broke 2 of my cardinal rules- I drank on workweek nights and started drinking in the morning...of course one wanders why I had rules as if I didn’t have a hidden problem so to speak….
I even went to therapy before I started AA to try and figure out why I was binging etc etc….we talked about lots if stuff..but frankly I am no closer really than I was before to knowing why….I just know that I cannot continue ….I have to treat the symptom even if I don’t understand the disease…
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Here is a link to a test that can help one determine if they are alcoholic or not.
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/....cfm?PageID=71
Draw your own conclusions in the genetic trait of alcoholism from the following:
I am an alcoholic.
My father was. (He passed with 19 years sobriety under his belt)
My grandfather on my mothers side was, he finally quit due to diabetes.
My son is an alcoholic (Sober for now)
My brother is an alcoholic who has been sober about 15-20 years.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, as long as an alcoholic drinks the disease gets worse, it NEVER gets better.
I was 40 before I started having reasons to quit & spent 10 years wanting to quit, but never bad enough to go to AA and really try.
I was about 45-46 when I started HAVING to drink every day in order to feel normal.
At about 50 my tolerance went haywire, one day I was fall down drunk after 6-8 beers, the next day I could drink all I wanted to and could not even get a buzz!
At 52 I finally surrendered and went to a doctor and told the truth about my drinking, he said I needed medical detox, I did that, detox said I needed AA, AA said I needed to work the steps.
Well it is over a year now, I am still sober and happier then I have been in over 30 years.
AA will work for most people if they work it, it worked for me, but I wanted to be sober and stay sober more then I wanted to drink.
AA nor any other program will work for any one who wants to drink more then they want to be sober.
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/....cfm?PageID=71
Draw your own conclusions in the genetic trait of alcoholism from the following:
I am an alcoholic.
My father was. (He passed with 19 years sobriety under his belt)
My grandfather on my mothers side was, he finally quit due to diabetes.
My son is an alcoholic (Sober for now)
My brother is an alcoholic who has been sober about 15-20 years.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, as long as an alcoholic drinks the disease gets worse, it NEVER gets better.
I was 40 before I started having reasons to quit & spent 10 years wanting to quit, but never bad enough to go to AA and really try.
I was about 45-46 when I started HAVING to drink every day in order to feel normal.
At about 50 my tolerance went haywire, one day I was fall down drunk after 6-8 beers, the next day I could drink all I wanted to and could not even get a buzz!
At 52 I finally surrendered and went to a doctor and told the truth about my drinking, he said I needed medical detox, I did that, detox said I needed AA, AA said I needed to work the steps.
Well it is over a year now, I am still sober and happier then I have been in over 30 years.
AA will work for most people if they work it, it worked for me, but I wanted to be sober and stay sober more then I wanted to drink.
AA nor any other program will work for any one who wants to drink more then they want to be sober.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
hello and Welcome to SR!
Please read this for information
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...640436,00.html
Are you planning to break the addiction cycle?
Take care....keep posting
Please read this for information
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...640436,00.html
Are you planning to break the addiction cycle?
Take care....keep posting
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