Spinner-007

I found out that my wife has been getting this med, and others like it, for more than 2 years. Now she is on Bupromorphine to control her cravings, but will be off of that in a couple days.

She drinks a lot of soda(Sprite, Coke, etc) with ice, and now is drinking about 1-2 of those energy sodas(from the Coke company) daily.

She also has chronic acid problems(little wonder with all that soda), and she's throwing up at least once a day.

And she had major dental work in the past, and it looks as though she'll need to go in again for more work.

I've read the previous post and this sounds remarkably similar to prolonged use of oxy, and reading about the one poster's father, I'm really concerned for her health(please forgive me for forgetting to mention your usernames).

If she doesn't change her habits, what can she expect?

Viki

The prolonged vomiting probably is causing her tooth problems. when one vomits that often the acid that's in your stomach that is used to digest food comes up and destroys teeth and esophagus. The problems with the acid will eventually cause esophagal bleedind and tooth loss. Opiate use will cause liver and kidney failure with prolonged use. Two years isn't very long for all of her problems to be blamed on the opiates. has she eve had an eating disorder? she definitely needs to see a medical Dr. Get her off of the hydrocodeine. A drug test will tell you if she is a chronic oxy user or anything else for that matter. You sound like you need some help. have you checked Al-Anon out? Please do so for your sake..........Viki

Spinner-007

Thank you, Vicki. She had(and most likely still has) bulemia. Her weight is about 120-130, and she's usually about 135-140. I can't trust her to tell me what her Doctor will say when she goes to her doctor.

She has her first meeting Monday morning, and I will have my first meeting Tuesday with Al Anon( I was to go on Thursday, but I had helped a friend move as he is divorcing his wife, who has been addicted to oxy and coke for four years. Ironic...).

This site has been so valuable and I thank God I found you all. Please let me know if you have any other insite or websites to look at as well. Thank you all...

notsleepingwell

HBO has a DVD out on addiction that addresses opioid addictions as well as most others. I highly recommend it. Think you can find it on the HBO website.

There are also some wonderful books out there, but if you do a general web search it will give you a lot of options.

Glad you found us tooooo!!!!!!

bookmiser

Spinner-007,

Hi and welcome to sr. I'm Linda and my 25 yo son is the addict in my life.
I'm sorry for what you and your wife are going through.
So glad you both can start attending meetings.
Keep coming back here for support, too.
Sr is a great place.

Keeping you both in my prayers.

Hugs,
Linda

marle

My daughter is an opiate user and bulimic. So far her teeth are okay except for the wearing away of the enamel caused by her bulimia. Opiates dry up the body-skin, bowels and saliva. That is why opiate users are constantly drinking something. The dry mouth can cause dental problems and also problems with the stomach. Long term opiate users almost always have some sort of digestive problem. I know that my daughter used a lot of antacids and complains of heartburn. She also tends to be nauseated with her opiates and also when withdrawing from them. It sounds like your wife has other issues. I know my daughter hates herself and that is why she abused herself, first with the bulimia and then with drugs. Hugs, Marle

Spinner-007

Thank you, all. I appreciated all the information, support and prayers.

Marle, my wife also had complained about dry mouth, and has had some skin reactions as well.

I know there are other issues, but she deflects my inquiries into her past almost everytime. And we've been in and out of our relationship for over 20 years. We've been married for six.

I thought I really knew her.

It makes me think of the first time I've ever had an HIV test(in my VERY singles days). I went to the clinic, gave blood in they called me back in two weeks later. The technician flipped over the binder and turned to the page. On the page were 8 entries for 8 different patients. Of those 8, 7 had the plus sign (+). I prayed and promised God if He was ever to have me win the lotto in the near future, I'll trade it all for that one negative (-) on the page. Well, the good news is that I'm still poor!

The technician asked why I was so anxious. I explained at the time I was in a serious relationship but I wanted to be sure, etc. He said that no matter how serious, ALWAYS where a condom. EVEN if you're married. He went on to tell me that 2 day prior he had to tell a married man that he was HIV positive, and through the discussion, the guy admitted he was seeing another woman, and he didn't know too much about her, etc. He said he's seen too much of it while working at the clinic and it all comes down to this: you cannot trust your life to anyone. Not even your spouse.

What's happening to me now is just confirming what he said so many years ago. She only knows if she did anything to get money for those damn meds(remember, I'm still poor!)

Looks like I should schedule an appointment to checked for STD's now, too.

Her addiction has truly been a wrecking ball...

LearningHusband

Sadly too, cheating tends to be yet another symptom of addiction. My ex began screwing around with guys who, like her, had serious addictions. When we divorced, she went to live with her boyfriend who had been in jail for second degree murder, was a coke addict, didn't work and even beat her. But get this, when he broke her nose, she went to the ER and (lo and behold) got more pain pills.

This was a seemingly well adjusted, hard working "good girl" who became so addicted, her world spun out of control. She "doctor shopped" to get hydrocodone and soma (her favorite combo). She went to different pharmacies to get them filled so that the computer systems wouldn't flag her. Eventually she started buying drugs online where all you have to do is pay an online "doctor" $100 for a consultation (which consists of a someone on the phone asking a few questions like, "are you in pain") afterwhich you can order as much stuff as you like.

As so many here have said, it's a situation that gets progressively worse. My ex begain opening credit cards in her own name without me knowing it so she could buy more and more drugs (thankfullly, my lawyer was able to include a clause that said any debt in our own individual names was owned by that individual -not the couple).

I hope you protect yourself and those kids. If your wife is not getting help (real help, not this act of getting help so you'll get off her back) then you can do yourself and your kids a favor by taking action to make sure all of you are safe (physically, emotionally, financially).

Godspeed!

LH

Spinner-007

Thank you, LH. Addicts seem to have a certain pattern. My wife also shopped doctors, and she confessed to only one. I found a bottle with another's name on it, and she had 'forgotten all about that one. Sorry'. Then I did more leg work and found 11 more doctors(some working in the very same office with one or two of another!).

She staggered the call ins, or office visits, so that no one doctor prescribed anything less than 30 days.

I called 3 of those offices, and went to 1, and told them about her addictions. They actually appeared relieved that I found out and contacted them about it.

LH, how far did you go when you found out? did you call every doctor or pharmacy? Did you actively cut those lines yourself, knowing full well she would always find another doctor, another pharmacy?

Part of me wants to do everything in my power to 'enable her less', but the other part says that it doesn't matter what I do if she's not really into dealing with her addiction. She will just go further out to find a new doctor, and then find a pharmacy not too far from the new doctor.

I need some guidance because I simply don't trust her.

Thank you!

LearningHusband

Trust me, she will find other ways to get drugs, even if you try to inform every doctor and pharmacy. My ex would go to friends' houses that she knew had had surgery and would go through their medicine cabinet to find pain pills. And of course, like I said, there's the internet.

You can't control what she's doing and you'll drive yourself crazy trying. You simply need to decide what is best for you and, more importantly, your kids. If you are afraid she's driving your kids while she's high, tell her that you will call the cops if she does and then do it.

And don't keep all this a secret like I did for so long. My family watched me suffer and knew something was wrong, but when I told them, it was a great relief and a blessing to have support.

It's not about her anymore and you need to take the focus off of what she's doing and take care of yourself and the kids. That might mean booting her out (I was able to get an ex parte order by proving she was a danger to our kid). YOu have to do what's right for you, but start looking out for yourself and your kids.

And I will pray for you and your kids that the wisdom and comfort of good decisions will come to you soon.

LH

Spinner-007

Thanks, LH. I was actually driving myself crazy NOT knowing where to put my time and efforts, and knew that no matter how many holes I try and plug, she would just drill somewhere else.

At the very least, she knows I'm aware. She also knows how I am about the kids safety and I will not compromise that...

Thanks again, LH.

LearningHusband

Spinner,

Good morning. Just for today, try to think of the things you need to do for you and your kids. Be pleasant to you wife, but don't get sucked into her issues - just today give it a real effort. I'll bet it gives you a new perspective and new hope.

LH

cinderellawkids

Sorry I didnt get with you sooner. The gastro/acid issues according to my father's doctors are from the meds.
Please remember my dad has been taking the highest doses possible of Oxy for 20 years.

Effects are going to depend on where the persons organs already are and how weak, course anyone of us can have weak kidneys without realizing it.

A dear friend of mine in August of 01 was diagnosed with Hep C after going to ER for severe acid reflux issues. They told him his liver was already gone with cirosis from his years of partying ad the disease adn his kidneys had taken a beating. He was put on top of the transplant list and told it would be a few months. Sept 01 he started taking Oxy as well as other meds (again with no liver or kidney function to filter out toxins.) His skin turned yellow, he had many health problems. Early November he had a seizure and slipped into a coma. We were told by the doctors it was the ammonia going to his brain from the meds that was killing him at that time not the cerosis. He died a few weeks later.

It does seem highly unlikey your wifes effects would be so severe so soon, but as with my friend there may be other health issues as well.

My heart goes outto those with sever chronic pain and there family memebers, as it seems they are in a no win situation