Hanker

I am 48 and have been drinking for 32 years (I grew up in France). My dad was an alcoholic and his dad was an alcoholic. My drinking has increased to the point where I have been drinking two bottles of wine per night. I am a big guy 6'5" 260 lbs. so I don't get stumbling drunk, but I still feel like crap the next day.

My wife and I recently adopted a 6 year old boy from Russia and it kills me that I have been repeating the same mistakes my father made regarding alcohol. With that in mind I have decided to quit drinking and smoking pot. Last night I dumped all of my pot into the toilet. Tonight will be my first totally sober night in several months. I have been able to quit for up to three days but I cave in and have a drink. Quiting pot is no problem.

All this to say that I am going to try and go cold turkey with no AA meetings or medication (except Ambien) My weakness seems to be boredom so I am going to focus on staying busy and working out in the evening. 6 years ago I completed an ironman triathlon and I have signed up for the same event next year. My focus is going to be on training and getting back in shape. I know that most here would tell me I am destined for failure but I am going to try my method first. If that doesn't work I will consider inpatient treatment.


Anyway, I thought I would share my story. This is a great site and I appreciate everyone sharing their personal stories.

Rowan

Hi Hanker,

Welcome to our recovery community! I had my first drink at 12 or 13 (maybe younger, dunno), and started attending AA meetings when I was 33. I'm 39 now, and have been sober for nearly 2 years, and clean (from pills) for 14 months.

I'm glad you're open to treatment if training isn't enough to keep you off the booze and pot. What a wonderful gift you have given your new adopted son.

I look forward to more of your posts.

mike_mass

I drank only about 12 -13 years before stopping. Father was and is an alcoholic. I attended AA from the get go and haven't had a drink in 17 years.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Welcome Hanker!

I've never really thought about it, but I drank for 30 years. I'm 43. Jeez. I've got 7 months sober tomorrow, and life is good!

This board is a great support system..keep posting.

Karen

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, hanker. recovery is possible. keep posting! k

Astro

Hello Hanker, welcome to SR.

I started drinking at 14, was a daily drinker at 16, and didn't stop until 41. 27 years is a long, hard road, but I never saw any reason to stop. But alcoholism was like building a house of cards with my life, I had my moment of clarity when it came crashing down.

AA has been a miracle in my life, I hope you find what you need for your recovery.

WLDKATZ

I had my first drink when I was just 6 months old my alcoholic dad thought it was "cute" to give his teethin baby something to calm her down, thus became almost a ritual with my family give one of them a shot calm them down and watch them sleep, Today I made day 101.....................I thank God for it everyday, I didn't think about it anymore I JUST DID IT!!! Kind of like the Nike commercial Just do it.......there are only so many recoveries in a persons life and as I am expecting in May I just decided enough was enough I was tired of living the way I had been.... I pray that you will find the strength everyday to keep comming back to the program, work your steps honestly and openly and you will find the peace, serenity and SOBRITY that you are seeking and praying for! Good luck and welcome to SR!

Octoman

Hi Hanker
Welcome to SR and good luck with your recovery. I dont think there is any prescribed way of getting sober. Many people achieve it through different approaches. If you dont succeed then the AA route has helped many people too.

I had my first drink at 13 (lived in a pub), was drinking regularly by 16 then through college, university and into my work I drank heavily at least 4 or 5 times per week. By my late twenties I was drinking regularly at home when I couldnt find anyone to go out with. By about two years ago (I am 34) I drank every day, mostly at home in my garden getting through 12 or so beers and plus a bottle of wine if I hadent passed out. About six months ago I started drinking in the mornings on the weekends and would drink solidly all day at weekends and then every night of the week. Some nights I would drink until morning and then go straight to work. Just before quitting I had begun to drink during the day while working. I have no idea how much I was getting through but it was way to much - and never enough.

I am following a similar programme to you. Excercise, spending time with my family. Trying to work on my spiritual as well as my physical health. So far it is working for me but I am open to the idea of AA or other support groups if I run into trouble

Good luck. Let us know how you get on.

NEEDTOBESOBER

Hi, I quit after drinking for 26 years , I am now 42. I had to go thru detox for both alcohol and xanax which i took for 5 years. have been sober for 56 days.

rloomer

I tried the whole do it on my own and I tried 3 treatment centers.
Some people can! make it out without AA some can't.

I know this is the first time I've ever done this without it being for someone else. I'ts about me. It has to be about you which ever way you decide to go. You have to want to be sober for you.

Best of luck and welcome to SR

beaglenut

I drank socially from the age of 18-34. Then I started drinking heavily for the next 6 years.

Day 35 so far!

CarolD

I had my first drink at 14
my last at 53.

I consider my slide into alcoholism started in my 40's.

Good Luck...Blessings to you and your family
Welcome to SR!

serenitarium

I had my first drink at 13. My mother (an addict as well) force fed me mimosa's at brunch one Sunday. My first drink led to my first black out which led to 13 years of copius amounts of pot smoking, beer guzzling, wine "sipping," pill popping and snow snorting.

Maybe find the address of a local AA meeting and put it in your back pocket. Even if you just drive by - it's a huge step.

dave47

Hi Hanker and welcome.I started drinking when i was 16 and had the reputation for being a bottomless pit amongst my mates,and i was happy to live up to it.With family and commitments i carried on but was able to cover up to a large extent.I didn't usually look like i'd had more than a couple and have probably bluffed my way through the last 29 years.That's great that you've got such an added target to aim for and the best of luck with that.In my teens i was heavily into running and martial arts and hope to start getting into some sort of energetic sport in the near future.

Krys_wyo

I remember the first time I got drunk.....it was at a compamy picnic and i was 12, we thought it was funny to fill up our empty mountain dew bottles from the tapped keg of coors i think it was. Needless to say i was plastered and fell down and wet my pants, all the grown ups thought it was funny.
I guess it started then cause after that i started empting all the collector decaunters we had in the house (steaming the seals) and filling them with water when they were gone.
So in doing the math and minusing my 3 pregnancies cause i was able to not drinki when i was pregnant and minus the last 15 months
.........My total years drinking would be right about 19 years and Im only 35.
That is sad, what a waste!

Reubena

Hi,

I first got drunk at age 16. After that it was occasional monthly binge drinking until my last year of professional school when I started to drink more often. I have been drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night for 7 or maybe 8 years (I am 39).

My family is an adoptive family, too

I have been sober a week now. I am doing a lot of reading plus scouring this forum. I also have started e-mailing good friends that I had stopped e-mailing over the years b/c I felt like a worthless piece of trash. I feel agitated during the day and I can't get to sleep very well at night since I have stopped drinking. But once asleep, I actually stay asleep until the morning. Good for you for including exercise in your plans. I would like to do that, too.

Welcome

R

1_day@_a_time

Welcome! I relate to your challenge......& to answer your question, 30 yrs.

I have completed several triathlons, no Ironmans yet.

Today, I train for cycling & running endurance events. Completed my first ultra last year, and am signed up again this year.

NONE of this would be possible w/o my sobriety, and more specifically, being in active recovery.

TO ME there is a HUGE differene from simply abstaining & recovery!

RE: AA, for me, in my life, alcohol is not the problem, it's the solution. Take away the drink, and I'm the same person, sober.

It's MY THINKING that's the problem.

SO, I need a new way of life in order to be comfortable in my skin with my life.....

If I could have done it all on my own, I would have done so, yrs ago.

Lack of power is my dilemma.......I need help!

Hope this makes sense.

Stick around........a new life awaits you. If you give up & surrender this way you are now living!

nogard

used for 13 years clean for 20 yeras relapsed with a little drinkie that would not hurt me 11 years later I quit and one day at a time I get well and lovbe life whatever it brings. I have a sparkle in my eyes and am "Alive".

Kevin