aztchr

My mom confided in me that she had checked my sister's purse to see if she brought any drugs in the house. (My mom hasn't started any recovery for herself, yet.)
She hadn't, but my mom did find a photocopy of my grandma's bank info. from another state. My mom had the info because she is on all of my grandma's accounts. My mom will have all authority over the accounts as needed. My mom showed my grandma and grandma said my sister can't do anything with the info. Mom isn't so sure, though. My mom put the paper back into my sister's purse.

Mom wanted me to know so anytime I'm over at her house, I need to lock up my purse or keep it in my sight.

My dilemma is what do I do with the info. my mom gave me? Nothing is probably the answer, right?

steve11694

I guess we need to be careful with an addict, even a family member because they can do anything to buy more drugs, including steal from their own family.

justjo

If it were me, I would have confronted your sister about it. Ok, mum checked the purse. If anyone does this eg. like checking someone elses mobile, the prob is its never thought of as to what you will do with the information, if you are right.
Due to the sheer guilt of looking in the first place.
Mum should tell her that she feared she may bring drugs in the house, so she looked and found that out. Your sister may be angry at first, but heck, whats she doing with that info about your grandma bank account.

embraced2000

i agree with justjo......the addict has alot to prove in recovery, and they should be accepting of that if they are in recovery. it is very suspicious that she has this info, and it doesn't look right. something just seems fishy. these elderly people's financial situation needs to be protected from a prospective addict.

if it were me, i would say something like this......i looked in your purse and that may make you angry, but i found this info and i want to know the reason and the intent of your having it. i love you and want to support you, but unfortunately, your past behaviors have made us very suspicious of your actions. i know in the past, your addiction has been the person that we saw, and while you are living with us, i will be checking everything out. if you are uncomfortable with that, please discuss it with your sponsor, for i have the right to know what is going on in my own home. again, i love you with all my heart, and will make myself aware anyway i need to what is going on in my own home.

jmho

Mr. Christian

Nope, you say nothing.
No snooping, no control.

aztchr

I'll pass along a few things shared to my mom. She can take what she likes and do something about it or not. I'm curious as to whether or not she told my dad, but that's beside the point.

I'm not conforting my sister since I don't live there and it wasn't my info.
Again, I can't control what my parents do or what my sister does either.
The less I have to involve myself, the better!!

If it affects me and my property, then I'll do something.

justjo

I guess its up to the individual.

I have learnt though, that if you choose to get involved (even talking about it to someone else) you are setting yourself up for disaster or the worry of it. Once we find out the (nasties) that our alcoholic loved ones are doing, we then have to decide just what you are asking. Maybe, tell mum not to tell you things if you choose not to be involved. She has told you and your grandma what has happened, therefore your sister must be confronted in my opinion only. Its like if I found out one of my children had stolen money from me, what do I do, "they would suffer the consequence".

I now choose not to know or get involved with my as, therefore this makes my life much easier.