Some suggestions on what not to do for codies
Living in the light
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Some suggestions on what not to do for codies
I came recently came across these suggested Donts and would like to share them
with you.
Have I done most of these things at one time or another?
Yes. LOL
The good news is in recovery we can and do replace the dont's with new positive ways of doing and living. Please share your new ways of doing and living.
Don't
Be self - righteous
Try to dominate, nag, scold, complain and fix.
Try to push anyone but yourself
Keep bringing up the past
Keep checking on your A
Wallow in self-pity
Make threats you don't intend to keep or carry out
Be over- protective
Be a doormat
with you.
Have I done most of these things at one time or another?
Yes. LOL The good news is in recovery we can and do replace the dont's with new positive ways of doing and living. Please share your new ways of doing and living.
Don't
Be self - righteous
Try to dominate, nag, scold, complain and fix.
Try to push anyone but yourself
Keep bringing up the past
Keep checking on your A
Wallow in self-pity
Make threats you don't intend to keep or carry out
Be over- protective
Be a doormat
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
When you feel that feeling that has you say... Let me do that for you..
Sit on your hands and duct tape your mouth shut *LOL*
Rather then a list of what not to do, how about a list of what we should do?
Practice in front of a mirror at every chance you get saying the word...No!
I have found that the word No! allows other people and opportunity to grow and learn things. When I say Yes! to help others, I am really holding them back and not helping them.
Sit on your hands and duct tape your mouth shut *LOL*
Rather then a list of what not to do, how about a list of what we should do?
Practice in front of a mirror at every chance you get saying the word...No!
I have found that the word No! allows other people and opportunity to grow and learn things. When I say Yes! to help others, I am really holding them back and not helping them.
Living in the light
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
I'm really enjoying these responses.
Here's one of my favorite things to do in recovery. When I get that wanting to fix another urge, I can catch myself and laugh at myself because it's a sure sign I need to get busy and work on fixing something about me!
Here's one of my favorite things to do in recovery. When I get that wanting to fix another urge, I can catch myself and laugh at myself because it's a sure sign I need to get busy and work on fixing something about me!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Don't do for others what they can do for themselves
DO the next right thing
DO take care of yourself first
DO go to meetings
DO practice the steps
DO go easy on yourself
DO.... be do be dooooo !
(there is supposed to be a picture of Snoopy dancing but my puter won't let me
)
DO the next right thing
DO take care of yourself first
DO go to meetings
DO practice the steps
DO go easy on yourself
DO.... be do be dooooo !
(there is supposed to be a picture of Snoopy dancing but my puter won't let me
)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Please share your new ways of doing and living.
This is a good idea!
"Do" list:
Admit my faults and mistakes.
Treat the addict with the same respect that is due to anyone, by respecting their privacy and choices.
Use the same level of energy once wasted in my codependency to attend to other people or things that have been neglected or given second place.
List ways I didn't take care of myself and make those amends to myself.
Living in the light
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Do take care of you first
Do give back to others of what you've been given so lovingly, graciously and freely. All love given returns.
Do realize and come to accept that happiness is an inside job
Do choose joy and serenity
Do sing in the shower whenever you please
Do laugh at yourself
Do cry when you need to
Do tell those nearest and dearest to you you love them
Do take time to stop and smell the roses
Do be yourself and not a poor imitation of someone else
Do be the happy, joyous, free child of the universe you were created to be
Do make mistakes because that's how you learn
Do be kind to yourself
Do give back to others of what you've been given so lovingly, graciously and freely. All love given returns.
Do realize and come to accept that happiness is an inside job
Do choose joy and serenity
Do sing in the shower whenever you please
Do laugh at yourself
Do cry when you need to
Do tell those nearest and dearest to you you love them
Do take time to stop and smell the roses
Do be yourself and not a poor imitation of someone else
Do be the happy, joyous, free child of the universe you were created to be
Do make mistakes because that's how you learn
Do be kind to yourself
Living in the light
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
cmc, Your Do list shines with recovery. Treat the addict with the same respect
that is due anyone, by respecting their privacy and choices resonates with me.
When we accept we cannot change them or their choices we can respect they have their own lives to live free from our meddling.
that is due anyone, by respecting their privacy and choices resonates with me.
When we accept we cannot change them or their choices we can respect they have their own lives to live free from our meddling.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
Do be true to yourself
Do trust yourself
Do rise above
Do respect your value
Do say no, mean no ...
...and don't feel guilty ~
Don't judge
Don't wallow
Don't bring yourself down in an attempt to build yourself up
Live life looking forward ~ looking backward will just make you trip!
Do trust yourself
Do rise above
Do respect your value
Do say no, mean no ...
...and don't feel guilty ~
Don't judge
Don't wallow
Don't bring yourself down in an attempt to build yourself up
Live life looking forward ~ looking backward will just make you trip!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Can't add much to the wonderful do's above, but just wanted to add one thing...Do know that you aren't walking alone. Your support group at live meetings and/or SoberRecovery are there to walk with you with love and your Higher Power is always with you, whether you see Him or not.
Great thread.
Hugs
Great thread.
Hugs
Living in the light
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Today I'm free of feeling any responsibility for ASs addiction and choices in life.
My sponsor, a double winner, suggested I do this whenever I found myself feeling responsible or guilty for ASs addiction. Best, I think
she learned this technique in AA and passed it on to me. I am so fortunate she had recovery in Alanon and AA.
Her ESH, wisdom and loving guidance along with my willingness led me to a new and happier
way of living.
She referred me often to AAs Big Book as well as Anon
books.
Do sit in front of a mirror and say out loud
I didn't cause it
I can't cure it
I can't control it
I am not responsible
I am not guilty
These are powerful affirmations.
My sponsor, a double winner, suggested I do this whenever I found myself feeling responsible or guilty for ASs addiction. Best, I think
she learned this technique in AA and passed it on to me. I am so fortunate she had recovery in Alanon and AA.
Her ESH, wisdom and loving guidance along with my willingness led me to a new and happier
way of living.
She referred me often to AAs Big Book as well as Anonbooks.
Do sit in front of a mirror and say out loud
I didn't cause it
I can't cure it
I can't control it
I am not responsible
I am not guilty
These are powerful affirmations.
Last edited by frankie_b; 09-15-2007 at 03:55 AM.
Living in the light
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
This is from The Keys to the Kingdom chapter in the AA Big Book.
The last 15 years of my life have been rich and meaningful. I have had my share of problems, heart-aches and disappointments , because that is life, but also I have known a great deal of joy, and a peace that is the handmaiden to an inner freedom.
I so relate to this anonymous woman's words. Her truth is mine as well.
The last 15 years of my life have been rich and meaningful. I have had my share of problems, heart-aches and disappointments , because that is life, but also I have known a great deal of joy, and a peace that is the handmaiden to an inner freedom.
I so relate to this anonymous woman's words. Her truth is mine as well.
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