Surrender63

I'm sure a few of you have heard my story . In and out after 60-90 days...thinking I can have some controlled drinking,which only works for awhile(few weeks/months) then it's back again. I feel alone in this sometimes because they're those out there that Get IT the first time around. This shame of being an alcoholic has to stop. I'm not in a good place this morning and trying to make a few phone calls. Just needed to put myself out there before going to work... Thanks for listening....

Astro

It doesn't matter whether you get it the first time around or not, just keep coming back. What drove it home for me was knowing that I might not make it back if I relapsed. For me, to drink is to die, I can never safely pick up again.

Surrender63

I seem to think that most get it the first time.... I'm not giving up on myself!

Tazman53

I really do count myself as fortunant, when I finally had to quit or die I became willing to follow directions, but once I was at that point I had no idea how to get and stay sober, I had tried for 10 years to control my drinking & quit drinking, I finally gave up! I gave up to alcohol!!! I decided I was going to drink, no more guilt, no more shame, no more self hate, I was simply going to drink as much as I wanted when I wanted, alcohol had kicked my butt!!!

Soon after that I had a moment of clarity where I realized that if I did not quit I was going to lose it all and die a slow painful alcoholic death! Hell I had no idea what to do, the only thing I knew was my way did not work so I went to a doctor who specialized in alcholism & drug addiction, I told hime how much I drank and for how long and asked him what he was going to prescribe me in the way of anti-craving meds or antabuse. He told me he would prescribe any of them I wished but it would be a waste of his time and mine....... he told me I needed to go through medical detox!

Well I was beaten and had no idea what to do but listen to those in the know. I went into detox, there they told me that if I wanted a chance to stay sober when I left there I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor!

Well I was beaten into submission by alcohol so I followed directions, I went to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and got a sponsor. In AA they told me that if I wanted a chance to stay sober and be happy I needed to work the steps with my sponsor.

Well I did as they suggested, I have worked the steps, I continue to work them and live them to the best of my ability.

Today thanks to being willing to follow directions I am happy, joyous, & free! The urge/need to drink has been gone for months, I could care less if I ever had another drink again. That is not to say that I do not have a fleeting thought of a drink every now and then I do, but as quickly as the thought comes I just as quickly brush it aside.

parentrecovers

keep posting, denver...k

Jersey Nonny

There are those who would like to believe they are "different"...it's called suffering from terminal uniqueness. You don't really seem to fall into that category. I'm glad you're still reaching out.

Quote:

I could care less if I ever had another drink again. That is not to say that I do not have a fleeting thought of a drink every now and then I do, but as quickly as the thought comes I just as quickly brush it aside.

Amazing how that works, isn't it, Taz? I see you have an AA Birthday coming up!

Jhana

Listen denver,

I had 13 years and one offered glass of champagne got me. Soooo....no matter how much anyone seems to have sobriety "nailed", I'm sorry, I will believe it when they die, of natural causes, sober.

To be sober requires life changes, and AA is a big help, but please also look into SMART..org.

Jhana

GlassPrisoner

NONSENSE !

I AM different. Really, I am.......

I'm also blessed to have fond out that there are others out there just lilke me. Those who have experienced what I have, and feel what I feel.

xXBacktoBlackXx

Yes, it's so hard to realize that you're not different from other alcoholics and that you really can't have just ONE measly drink and be fine. Trust me, I've had to learn that lesson a multitude of times and I'm hoping when I last learned it will truly be the last time. Ay, it's frustrating but we do have support groups; sober recovery forums, AA, etc.

Pinkcuda

One thing that Bill W. added before he died. "Not only is Alcohol cunning,baffling and powerful, I would like to add, patient."
Alcohol can outwait a lifetime of sobriety and it often has. 90 days is no challenge for your nemesis. There is no time or any place in sobriety where you can say that you have it under control. There is never a time where you can rest on your laurels.
For some reason all of seem to think we're different than others. When I first entered AA I was given a book and told "read it, I'm sure your story's in there somewhere". My first thought was, "Not mine, I'm different". Was I ever wrong. Every story in there was about me in one way or another.
Keep working at it. The only time that you truley fail is when you quit trying.

lisap

Hey there Denver,

I live in Denver too! I felt exactly how you feel. It took me two years to get a 60 day chip, man. I am so glad that even though I felt so humiliated and like such a loser people told me to keep coming back. The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. I finally got soooooooo sick of being sick that I could not go on any longer. I did do 90 in 90, got a sponsor, and am working the steps. I now have almost 5 months! Keep on trying buddy, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace,

Lisa

Viki

Hooray Lisa!!!!! You are another proof that it does work and it can be done. You all are in my prayers tonight those you are clean to stay clean and to those who aren't to get clean...Viki

daydream

Awesome Lisa!!!

ConfusedInDenver you can get off the roller coaster anytime you choose. I feel sooooooo much better with my feet on the ground :-)

die tryin

As it is said..1 is too many and 100 isn't enough..

Rusty Zipper

CID hey, i consider myself one of the blessed ones so far...

i'm a first time arounder... so what!

i have herd other first time arounders with 15-22 years...

that have come in with their head up their ass's...

they stop'd doing what was working...

so today, i consider my self a one day at a timer, with a few one days...

good wishes CID

Missymae737

Yes, to drink is to die...Well said...