angie9

I cant undertsand anymore why Im slipping back when I want to stop. Nursing a hangover from hell this morning and I know that Im happier when Im clear headed is it normal to be worse when you have a feel weeks sober then go back drinking heavier than you where before. I can go a couple or three days without booze but if I start I dont stop I just keep going and going!!
Sorry fro rambling I feel very "odd" at the moment and dont trust myself so am gonna lurk and chat on here
sorry SR family
Ang

Astro

I dunno Ang, some of us just get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This is my interpretation of "First Things First":

1. My higher power, God, above all else.
2. My sobriety.
3. Being of service.
4. Whatever else life throws my way.

Workin' pretty good so far.

Introvrtd1

Right here with ya.

Going thru similar struggles.

Attending therapy. My drinking "behavior" is all screwed up.

I believe you will get there (better). So will I.

I couldn't do it alone, but that's what loners do.

Learning to lean on others is not easy.

Dont worry about feeling "odd". Im panicky today. You're not alone.

My ocd wants to kick in.

Dont give up. Hang in there.

Just pick up and carry on. This site is very supportive.

Intro

Dee74

good idea Ang...stay and chat

D

Alive

I believe you can do it..You already want it...there's always a way to do something better to stay sober..It won't be easy...but you sure can do it!

Anna

Angie,

I could go for two or three days without drinking too and I would fall back again and again. I eventually figured out that I was sabotaging myself. I was afraid of getting better. I was afraid of believing that I wasn't a failure. It was easier to give in. Believe in yourself Angie and that you deserve a good life.

stone

Its like the more I tried to quit, the more the alcoholism asserted itself.
((((Ang))))

angie9

hey thanks Ive rung AA waiting for someone to ring me so I better get off line but the man was lovely I spoke to almost as lovely as our Dee :0)
Ill let you guys know how I get on and thanks Im so lucky to have you lot here for me

Dee74

glad you said *almost* Ang LOL.

I'm so glad for you
and we're lucky to have you, you know !!!
let us know what happens.....

D

stone

Who else would show us pics of chickens Ang?

angie9

they havent rung back!!! shall I give them a couple of hours then ring again It feels like Im trying to get better and things are holding me back and Anna your right I feel like I have no right to be sober to be happy "normal" for want of a better word I hate it that a couple of days from now I get the "one little drink" wont hurt feeling again sheesh!!!

Dee74

Don't give up on them Ang...you're in a little town, and they're probably a very small group

I'd give them that couple of hours yeah...means you'll have to get off here tho LOL they might have been trying, you know....

they'll try again tho

D

Rowan

Hi Ang,

Call again if you are feeling desperate. Are you just wanting to talk to someone, or are you looking for someone to get to a meeting with?
Don't ever give up on yourself, Ang. Sobriety is possible.

Row

Jules62

Just had to come in and say-hang in there Ang.And as Rowan said-call them back if you need to.I'm sorry I can't be around as much right now-I'm sick as a dog.Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you hon

Love, Julesxox

Anna

Angie,

You do deserve a good life. Believe that and you will begin to heal.

angie9

hi yes they said someone could pick me up, means I wont be able to change my mind
this is silly!! its a dam circle ang gets drunk ang gets guilty full of self pity!!!, ang recovers starts to feel good loves the morning with no hang over as this one is plain nasty! then ang drinks and it starts all over again
*sigh* prepahs I have to hit rock bottom before I realise that Im killing myself

Dee74

I don't believe you have to lose everything before you start fighting back Ang

You've got someone to pick you up for the meeting now...that's a start...

this could be the last hangover you need have, hon

D

Rowan

Ang,

I'm learning that the only bottom we need to hit is the one that leads us into recovery. To keep redefining that 'bottom' is kind of pointless.
You are recognizing the cycle of your disease, and while that's important, it would be more helpful if you took positive steps to get sober. Calling AA was a good step, but if you don't hear back from them right away, please don't let that keep you from getting to a meeting. Is there a detox or alcohol-related facility where you live? I'd start looking in the phone book and start calling around. Get busy!
Said with much love, Ang, for I do care.

angie9

thanks rowan I dont think theres a dectox place as such in Nz but when I had my break down I was offered respite care in which I turned it down. The problem is I have no one to look after the children and chris has to keep working so we pay bills :0( still no one has phoned hoping they ring tonight

stone

The bottoms question still bothers me...your bottom is when you stop digging.