confusedwoman4

Well he STILL hasen't picked up his stuff!! It's been 2 and a half weeks and he hasen't come for a change of clothes. He called on saturday to tell me he is going to start an "outpatient" treatment program on the weekends because he can't loose his job. He didn't leave money in the mailbox this week like he said he would, haha little surprise there!! I can't help but to be cold to him when he calls I know I should be more supportive but I can't. And I feel guilty about that. He is staying with a friend and really has no place to keep all his stuff. I feel guilty about telling him to get his crap since he has no place to put it. I thought about renting a storage unit and move it all myself, there are quite a few pieces of furniture and at least a truck load of clothes and hunting gear. I know I didn't really give him a chance but I DON'T want my kids to have to go through what I have read some kids have gone through here. Because I know in my heart he will relapse. Then I think well maybe he won't but then I think I am happy without him. GEEZ back and forth....back and forth....

I have finally gotten the bills caught up from his not helping while he was here. It's gonna be a hard 2 weeks till next payday but at least everything is paid till the end of the month. I found out he lied to me about the daycare bill going up. My daughter said it was so he could have more drug money. WOW she is so much smarter than her mother!! She loves the fact he is gone and said she will run away if I let him come back. I always said I would never be one of those mothers that chooses a man over her children so I am firm in the decision!!

I guess my question is how do you give loving support to a person that you don't really care about anymore. I coulden't care if he dropped of the face of the earth, in fact it would be easier, then I could have a yard sale and get rid of that stuff on my porch!! lol In fact, a couple of days ago, I sold the old truck that I bought for him to "fix up". How long after I tell him to get his stuff am I obligated to keep it?
Not only is it an eyesore I feel if he has no more stuff here I can permanently get him outta here.
HEY CRACK HEAD COME GET YOUR STUFF!!!!

Sorry for that I just can't seem to get it out when I am on the phone with him.

Thanks for listening
Gina

parentrecovers

i'd set a deadline for getting the stuff - and hold him to it. put it in writing and send it to work and make him sign for the letter. just a thought.

do you have to take his calls?

hugs, k

just for today

I agree with parentcovers, send him a certified letter at his work and request a return reciept.......

As for your question .... guess my question is how do you give loving support to a person that you don't really care about anymore.....JMHO the only person you need to give loving support to is you and your kids.....this is his addiction, let him handle it and if he decides he needs support, there are professionals out there for that..........

Good luck

Jwife22

Its a complicated situation depending on your state laws. I'd try to look it up or atleast contact someone about it. You don't want him suing you later own for destroying his property.....

Elana

I would give him a deadline (in writing) with the caveat that you will hold a yard sale if he does not meet the deadline. Include a bill for expenses he owes payment on. Tell him the yard sale will offset what he owes you and if you come up with more than the amount owed you will send him the extra.

Do it and keep good accounting records. Eventually it won't matter if he ends up owing child support which he has not paid because he is an addict. it will all be an offset.

good Luck.
When I went thru this the first time I wanted to put my Husband on the Front Porch with a "for sale" sign on him or a sign "will swap for two kittens..."

I ended up moving instead.....

confusedwoman4

Good idea Elana I think I will do that!! He got most of this furniture from his drug dealer friend who owed him money and gave him this stuff instead of paying him. So the quicker it is off my property the better I will feel. As far as taking his calls, I guess I don't he called twice yesterday and I was at work and my oldest dauaghter got the call. She was very proud of herself for being rude to him. tee hee Guess I don't care if she is, she has the right to dislike him right? After I tell him to get his stuff I will ask him not to call anymore. He can call his mother she wanted me to tell him to call her anyway. I have the feeling she is going to ask me to take him back in...just a feeling don't know she may not. He has lived with her several times before because of drugs although she didn't know that he was doing them.

As for swapping for 2 kittens we have 5 cats already! I was cleaning out the litter box a while ago and I didn't know something that big and stinky could come outta something so small and sweet!!! Sheesh that was bad!

Anvilhead I also like what you said about him losing my love and respect...he did that when he decided to do drugs. Not my fault

I will call my local police department and ask them how long I have to keep his stuff.

Thanks all for the advice

Have a great day!!
Gina

hope213

the magistrate here where i live can answer all those questions about how long u have to keep his things. call them,.it saves money on a lawyer or ect. i am glad to see you are putting your kids first.you do not have to support him in his recovery.tell him you wish him well & be done. it is his recovery & you have nothing to feel guilty about. hugs & prayers,