Barbara52

I had to stop by my old house to pick up mail today and its clear that AH has started drinking again. So he managed to white knuckle it for less than 2 months.

I haven't seen or communicated with AH in about a month so I have no idea what kinda of shape he's in. I've been told by folks who have seen him that he looks like hell and seems to have turned into a bitter man.

But, I remain detached. I care, I am saddened that he's still refusing to admit he is an alcoholic, still refusing to go to AA or counseling and back to drinking. But, I remain detached and am continuing on the path I need to follow for me.

I meet with my attorney tomorrow to get the legal stuff going. I doubt he'll react well to receiving the separation papers in the mail sometime soon. But, its not my problem any more. He has support from a number of other sources if he chooses to reach out for it. I will not be his support system any longer.

Astro

Glad to hear that you're taking care of youself, Barbara.

Barbara52

Thanks. I am taking care of me. And feeling good about life.

I'll finally be able to forward all the mail starting next week so won't have to go over to the house anymore. That will be nice.

hbb

I think you and I started on here about the same time....you sound wonderful, good for you and taking care of you. I hope things go smoothly for you in the next few weeks

Lady BlueMiles

You sound ready for this next step and I think you're doing great. Hope the legalities go smoothly for you.

ICU

Initially that seems like such a simple statement, doesn't it? But when you take time to think about what that really means, for you, it's such an empowering statement! Good for you!

cmc

I'm so glad to hear that you are doing so well, and the details of your life are now falling into place. Nice recovery!
Thanks for sharing your ESH, and showing others that things can change for the better.

Barbara52

I met with my attorney and unless AH decides to be a total jerk, the divorce can be filed in February. She will be preparing the separation agreement, specifying the division of assets in a month or so. We are going to wait and see what AH does about supporting himself financially over the next month or so since the utilities will be turned off if he doesn't find a way to pay it and if he manages to find a way it will absolutely rule out the remote chance that he could try for alimony from me. Alimony is a remote chance since he chooses to be unemployed and there are no real reasons why he cannot get a job. I'm not worried about it. My attorney said it was only a remote possibility and that it would be very limited if by some chance he was awarded it, only a few months.

Unless AH surprises the heck out of me, he is very likely to just sign the agreement (which will be fair) and not fight the divorce in any way. He's not likely to hire an attorney (especially since he doesn't have the money for it). In his first divorce, he wrote their agreement himself and pretty much gave everything to his ex. I suspect he will just roll over and play martyr and sign what ever he's presented with. If not, well, then the divorce has to wait til next July and the court will order the sale of the house and divide the net equity. I can wait if necessary. I'm happy I've started the ball rolling and can see my goals on the horizon.