Courage to Change ~ Sept 5
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Courage to Change ~ Sept 5
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 9/5
When I began studying the Seventh Step, which says, “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings,” my list of shortcomings included an extensive catalogue of feelings. I humbly asked God to remove my anger, fear, and guilt. I looked forward to the day when I would never experience any of these emotions again.
Of course, that day never arrived. Instead, I have learned that feelings aren’t shortcomings. The true nature of my problem was my stubborn refusal to acknowledge feelings, to accept them, and to let them go. I have very little power over what feelings arise, but what I choose to do about them is my responsibility.
Today I can accept my feelings, share about them with others, recognize that they are feelings, not facts, and then let them go. I’m no longer stuck in a state of seemingly endless rage or self-pity, for when I give myself permission to feel whatever I feel, the feelings pass. My emotions have not been removed; instead, I have been relieved of shortcomings that blocked my self-acceptance.
Today’s Reminder
When I take the Seventh Step, I pray that whatever interferes with my Higher Power’s will for me may be removed. I don’t have to have all the answers. I need only be willing.
“We didn’t necessarily get the results we wanted, but somehow we always seemed to get what we needed.”
In All Our Affairs
When I began studying the Seventh Step, which says, “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings,” my list of shortcomings included an extensive catalogue of feelings. I humbly asked God to remove my anger, fear, and guilt. I looked forward to the day when I would never experience any of these emotions again.
Of course, that day never arrived. Instead, I have learned that feelings aren’t shortcomings. The true nature of my problem was my stubborn refusal to acknowledge feelings, to accept them, and to let them go. I have very little power over what feelings arise, but what I choose to do about them is my responsibility.
Today I can accept my feelings, share about them with others, recognize that they are feelings, not facts, and then let them go. I’m no longer stuck in a state of seemingly endless rage or self-pity, for when I give myself permission to feel whatever I feel, the feelings pass. My emotions have not been removed; instead, I have been relieved of shortcomings that blocked my self-acceptance.
Today’s Reminder
When I take the Seventh Step, I pray that whatever interferes with my Higher Power’s will for me may be removed. I don’t have to have all the answers. I need only be willing.
“We didn’t necessarily get the results we wanted, but somehow we always seemed to get what we needed.”
In All Our Affairs
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Today I can accept my feelings, share about them with others, recognize that they are feelings, not facts, and then let them go
There was a time when I was soooo numb that I really didn't have any feelings other than fear. When I was in a safer place, after some recovery, I started to explore my feelings. Many times they got big and hairy and scary as they were all new and raw. With the help of recovery friends and a loving sponsor, I was able to recognize new feelings, accept them, sit with them, and then take an action if necessary.
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Originally Posted by CatsPajamas 
That was one of the most important lessons I ever learned... that feelings are JUST feelings and not facts. The caveat to that is that feelings aren't "good" or "bad", they are our feelings and all acceptable. It's what we DO with those feelings that can create problems ~ or what some lovingly call "growth opportunities" ~ in our lives.
There was a time when I was soooo numb that I really didn't have any feelings other than fear. When I was in a safer place, after some recovery, I started to explore my feelings. Many times they got big and hairy and scary as they were all new and raw. With the help of recovery friends and a loving sponsor, I was able to recognize new feelings, accept them, sit with them, and then take an action if necessary.
There was a time when I was soooo numb that I really didn't have any feelings other than fear. When I was in a safer place, after some recovery, I started to explore my feelings. Many times they got big and hairy and scary as they were all new and raw. With the help of recovery friends and a loving sponsor, I was able to recognize new feelings, accept them, sit with them, and then take an action if necessary.
Thank you for sharing this!!
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
thanks for this post, Cats!!
Yes, it is great in recovery to be able to say "I feel _________, today" and not try to mask those feelings. It is also great to know that I am no longer controlled by my emotions. That because I am feeling hurt doesn't mean that I have to hurt others, if I am feeling guilt doesn't mean I have to try to make others feel shame.
I can own my feelings without projecting them on to those closest around me. All about keeping my garden of self clean of the weeds of reacting, and self-defeating behaviors.
Feelings can be overwhelming, but this too shall pass.
Awesome post - thanks again for sharing!!
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
Yes, it is great in recovery to be able to say "I feel _________, today" and not try to mask those feelings. It is also great to know that I am no longer controlled by my emotions. That because I am feeling hurt doesn't mean that I have to hurt others, if I am feeling guilt doesn't mean I have to try to make others feel shame.
I can own my feelings without projecting them on to those closest around me. All about keeping my garden of self clean of the weeds of reacting, and self-defeating behaviors.
Feelings can be overwhelming, but this too shall pass.
Awesome post - thanks again for sharing!!
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I literally had to say aloud: what am I feeling right now? That is how removed I had become. Today it's a little easier, but I still need to ask sometimes. I had become Queen Reactor, that is for sure.
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