Language of Letting Go - September 5

Old 09-05-2007, 03:18 AM
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Ann
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Language of Letting Go - September 5

Step Ten

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
--Step Ten of Al Anon


Once we have worked our way to this Step, we can maintain and increase our self-esteem by regularly working Step Ten.

This Step incorporates the process we have gone through in Steps Four through Nine. We do not work this Step to punish ourselves or to hold ourselves under a constantly critical and demeaning microscope. We do it to maintain self-esteem and harmony in our relationship with others and ourselves. We do it to stay on track.

When an issue or problem emerges and needs our attention, identify it and openly discuss it with at least one safe person and God. Accept it. Become willing to let go of it. Ask God to take it from us. Have a change of heart by the willingness to make whatever amend is called for - to do what is necessary to take care of ourselves. Take an appropriate action to resolve the matter. Then let go of the guilt and shame.

This is a simple formula for taking care of ourselves. This is how we change. This is how we become changed. This is the process for healing and health. This is the process for achieving self-responsibility and self esteem.

The next time we do something that bothers us, the next time we feel off track or off course, we don't have to waste our time or energy feeling ashamed. We can take a Tenth Step. Let the process happen. And move on with our life.

God, help me make this Step and other Steps a habitual way of responding to life and my issues. Help me know that I am free to live, to allow myself to fully experiment with and experience life. If I get off course, or if an issue arises that demands my attention, help me deal with it by using the Tenth Step.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Old 09-05-2007, 03:24 AM
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Ann
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No matter how good my recovery or how much I try to be the best person I can be...I still make mistakes and am not always right.

What surprises me today is my willingness to admit when I am wrong or when I make mistakes. Instead of feeling self-defensive about myself and my actions, it is okay for me to say "I made a mistake and I'm sorry".

I no longer have a need to defend what I know is right for me, no matter what anyone else may think of my choice, but I also no longer have a need to always be right...because nobody is "always" right.

Admitting my error and making amends if necessary keeps my side of the street clean.

Hugs
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:17 AM
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This is me to a tee!!!

Originally Posted by Ann View Post
No matter how good my recovery or how much I try to be the best person I can be...I still make mistakes and am not always right.

What surprises me today is my willingness to admit when I am wrong or when I make mistakes. Instead of feeling self-defensive about myself and my actions, it is okay for me to say "I made a mistake and I'm sorry".

I no longer have a need to defend what I know is right for me, no matter what anyone else may think of my choice, but I also no longer have a need to always be right...because nobody is "always" right.

Admitting my error and making amends if necessary keeps my side of the street clean.

Hugs
Thanks Ann-you have always been here!!!!!!! I still make more than my share of mistakes, time and time again. I know before I allow myself to be involved with AH it is a mistake-do it anyway and most certainly it was a mistake. Nothing drastic or dramatic as when I found SR in June. I guess what works for one does not always work for another. Eventually-we find our way with the support of SR. I have not posted for a week or so-got lots to post-but still thinking to word it all. Others might not think so-I darn it I know I am better and getting better each day, well maybe every other day. HUgs-I know it gets better!!!!!!!
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Old 09-05-2007, 06:22 PM
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Ann,
You took the words out of my mouth - this step is simply about keeping my side of the street clean. It's so much simpler to review my behavior on a daily basis, and if I was wrong I can see my part in a situation and promptly admit it, and made amends if necessary. "I goofed, I did this and it wasn't ok for me to do that. I'm sorry" This is soooo much easier than allowing things to fester.

HUGS

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