rozied

I was just reading Devastated's post. Boy can I relate. I am so sick & tired of hearing about my adult sons problems.........most of them are of their own making. I am now 60 & enough is more than enough. I want out. I do not want to deal with their bull anymore
My 34 yr old son has been separated from his ex now for over 2 yrs now & he still does not want to take her to Domestic Relations for child support. This is making me furious. He needs the money very badly. I am tired of him not wanting to take her to court yet he thinks nothing of asking me for money.

hope213

not your problem & i can relate. they do not mind asking us for anything......

rozied

Hope you are so right. I guess you just have to really reach your own bottom to finally stop helping. I turned 60 in Jan & I have been doing alot of thinking lately about when is it going to be my time. I had my 1st child at age 19 so it has been 41yrs of worrying about my children. I am tired of it. I have found myself caring more about what happens than they do. I worry more about their bills than they do...............well no more. I quit!!!

Ann

Rozied, I'd say your time is now, to start living life well, taking care of yourself and letting your kids do for themselves just like we had to. And you seem to be doing this well. What an eye opener to just see with clarity that our helping doesn't help anyone.

If love isn't enough, then neither is $2,983 or $45, 682 or a million dollars.

These days my love is all I have to give, the rest is not for sale.

Hugs

Wascally Wabbit

From experience I knew that if my mom won't give it to me, I would find the person who would.
Its all a matter of how he wants to live. If he wants to live in poverty, then that's his choice. He has more than one choice too.
We do not have to go into poverty with them.

greeteachday

Why would he want to work to get something if he is getting it just by asking you? I agree your time has come and NO really IS a complete sentence. At 60, you are not too old to learn the art of saying no...Try it a few times; you'll be amazed at how quickly it becomes easy. HUgs

Lobo

Rozied,
It's time we start thinking about our retirement and the money we will need to take care of ourselves. You don't think he is going to be able to take care of you when the time comes that you would need some help. Time to think of yourself and your future. You can give him all the love.......it's free.

Take care........Lo

marteen

((((rozied))))

Believe me, life truly is too short - time you took what you have left in both the money bank and the life bank and do something for YOU. What have you got to lose? You deserve it and they are way beyond the age of taking care of themselves the way they deem fit. You sure don't need to keep watching the same ol' game anymore.

Hugs,

devastated

You're sure right about their problems are of their own making.

At least you're learning your lesson 7 years earlier than me!

I wonder what these children think the word "borrow" means anyway! I love that word don't you? They think nothing of asking us for money. God forbid if you say no!

Ann is sure right when she says "our helping doesn't help anyone!" All it does is prolong the inevitable.

Stick to your guns!

Hugs, Dev

rozied

Hugs To Everyone,
Its surprising how fast they wake up when they know you mean it.
This AM youngest son called me to tell me he is going to Domestic Relations this morning.