promises we make to the addict
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 51
promises we make to the addict
I THOUGHT I WOULD SWITCH IT UP A BIT AND TALK ABOUT THE PROMISES WE sumtimes as co depence make to the addicts..
1. if u stay clean for a month, and let me drug test you then we can get back together... (of course the addict agrees because he knows im not really goin to make him wait a whole month because i never do).
2. if you fall and smoke weed one more time, i am really done im not goin to keep getting back together with you no matter how sorry you are. (of course this is a lie. becuase this is break up make up numer 10 and maybe aroudn the first and second break up he might have belived i was not coming back but after the fourth time he tells me this is sumwhat amusing to him its kinda like wonder what will she do next).
3.. is me liying to my self this doenst really fit my post but.. i use to try to convice myself that he was really sober. even when i looked in those glossy red eyes that never blinked, and when he never remmebred anything i said .. (he even forgot to bring me green tea after i reminded him to pick it up from the store at least six times.) mostly because i knew all along he was high.. even though i would ask him did u smoke ? he would say no. and i would praise him for his full week of being clean..
yea right full week maybe in my fantasy..
tsk tsk .. well at least im out of this crazy relationship now. i look back and see the full picture the movie from start to finsih and see wow i was really stupid but .. u live and u learn and i am so much better because of all i went through
i still have to look at not only the promises he made and broke to me. but also the promises i made and broke to him..
1. if u stay clean for a month, and let me drug test you then we can get back together... (of course the addict agrees because he knows im not really goin to make him wait a whole month because i never do).
2. if you fall and smoke weed one more time, i am really done im not goin to keep getting back together with you no matter how sorry you are. (of course this is a lie. becuase this is break up make up numer 10 and maybe aroudn the first and second break up he might have belived i was not coming back but after the fourth time he tells me this is sumwhat amusing to him its kinda like wonder what will she do next).
3.. is me liying to my self this doenst really fit my post but.. i use to try to convice myself that he was really sober. even when i looked in those glossy red eyes that never blinked, and when he never remmebred anything i said .. (he even forgot to bring me green tea after i reminded him to pick it up from the store at least six times.) mostly because i knew all along he was high.. even though i would ask him did u smoke ? he would say no. and i would praise him for his full week of being clean..
yea right full week maybe in my fantasy..
tsk tsk .. well at least im out of this crazy relationship now. i look back and see the full picture the movie from start to finsih and see wow i was really stupid but .. u live and u learn and i am so much better because of all i went through
i still have to look at not only the promises he made and broke to me. but also the promises i made and broke to him..
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
Classysista, pot (and beer) were my XAH's DOC, so I agree/relate with everything you said, except ~ you weren't stupid! You were hopeful, optimistic, in denial, looking through rose colored glasses, but not stupid! Look where you are now! Stupid people make the same mistakes over and over without ever learning anything. You are one classy and smart sista!
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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Posts: 1,497
Just so you know.. I was stupid too (and very naive). Not anymore!
The fun thing about being "stupid" is that you can move past it into being "smart!"
My XABF will be gone a year October 13 (I am going to celebrate the day and do something nice for ME!). I look back and I am grateful he is gone and grateful for my lesson learned.
I hope the current GF will get to be smart someday too.. (probably happen when he starts to cheat on her and she figures it out) but codies can be as persistant as addicts and some just never do get sobriety.
The fun thing about being "stupid" is that you can move past it into being "smart!"
My XABF will be gone a year October 13 (I am going to celebrate the day and do something nice for ME!). I look back and I am grateful he is gone and grateful for my lesson learned.
I hope the current GF will get to be smart someday too.. (probably happen when he starts to cheat on her and she figures it out) but codies can be as persistant as addicts and some just never do get sobriety.
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 113
I tell him not to call me until he's gone through the program AGAIN and is sober. Then he calls about once a week because he says he knows I can see through his $hit, and just wants me to know how "sorry" he is. The part that keeps me answering the phone is that it's so pathetic that his FAMILY never even from the beginning of his addiction, even TRIED to help him. They see it as not their problem. So even though I divorced him, I am still the only one in his real life that cares. His day to day fantasy world consists of people with the "live and let live" attitude. Sad.
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