suzieq1972

The phone rang at 9:00 am this morning and it was AH. He said he tried to call the doctor about his back but the office was closed for the holiday. I told him that was good that he tried to call. We talked for several minutes and hung up. A littlewhile later the phone rang again and it was him again. He was checking to make sure we were ok because someone had called him from the hospital but he didn't get to the phone in time. (I have no clue).

I told him that some of our son's friends had rolled the yard last night and he asked if e could come over to help our son clean it up. I said yes, but made it very clear that we were getting ready for church and he would not be able to stay. Everything was fine when he first got here...they couldn't get all of the tp out of the trees because it was too high.

He then comes in and tells me that our son is not going o church and he's going to stay at the house with him to spend some time with him. I said that I had already explained to him that we were getting for church and he couldn't stay. Talk about one ticked off person!!!!! He was fine with the arrangement on the phone and then shows up thinking he's going to tell me how it's going to be?!?!

After church I called him (why I don't know), only to be told that I had no right to impose rules and regulations on him. I was keeping his son from him and using him against him. I have told him time and time again he can call him whenever he wants to and see him at AH's dad's house. That was not good enough. Needless to say I was cussed out ( I should have hung up but instead just laid the phone down while he ranted and raved).

SO, after he left I was shaking but it felt good!!! Any other time I would have siad ok you can stay. But, I had already set the boundary and explained it to him. He thought he could come in and just change my mind by smiling and being so sweet.

I don't think he cared for my new attitude!!

CBrown

Oh no, there's nothing an A hates more than a woman with backbone. That's why I am now an X. When I put my foot down and said I would not go in public with a man who drank himself to staggering and berated me, I became "tiresome."

You hold your ground. Hurray for you!

Barbara52

Good for you! Doesn't it feel wonderful to start feeling your own inner strength? I kow I felt great when mine started coming back..

justjo

Once I started standing up for me, my life became wonderful. Once I realized I only had to please myself, it became so easy. Yours will get that way too, good for you!

steve11694

And "vice a versa"

hadenoughnow

So true! Mine says that I am "giving him an ulcer" I told him "better you than me".

Wascally Wabbit

This is what happens when we begin to set boundaries. We might have spent our lives enabling or agreeing with the alcoholic, and now, we are taking care of our own selves for a change.
This kind of behavior is normal for the alcoholic. They want to resume control, and when they can't they use another tactic, anger and hostility.
But, that anger is theirs to own, not yours. You stated what you meant and he didn't like it. So what. Too bad.
If you continue to stick to your boundaries, he will eventually accept it.
Keep up the good work.
And remember, boundaries are meant to protect us.