Incognito Newbie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2
Incognito Newbie
Here I sit yet again
while your out drinkin' with your friend.
day after day it is the same ol' thing
you go to work, you go to Brians, then you come home and be mean
You give so little of yourself to those you claim to love
you offer only mistreat, verbal abuse and punishment and then say it is because.
Because of me and because of the kids .. we are to blame for the way you act.
You do not hold yourself accountable or responsible for your own behavior.
You scream about dish soap, toilet paper and how your the bread winner
and you demand your favors. You rule your home with an unkind hand
and we are to obey you "because you're" THE BOSS" KING OF THE CASTLE""YOUR THE MAN"
The truth of it is that your nothing but a drunken, pothead @$$^%!3 and this is a dungeon not a castle
You cuss and rage the evenings away
belittle, berate and criticize our every move and breath
Nothing is every good enough, nothing is right
you're always looking to argue, fuss and fight
we walk on eggshells when you are home
living in a land mine of your doing
trapped like rats we sit in the mire
at your mercy all we can do is hope
that you'll get tired of ranting and raving and leave us alone go out on the porch
and smoke your dope
Weed and booze are your constant companions
We've been reduced to angry reminders of why you are like you are
blamed for all your faults
You spew forth your vile about our nonexistent sex life
You call me all kinds of ugly names and then say, "I love you my wife"
You have us as your little prisoners here without a car, no money and dependent on you trapped in the ugliness of your cold, cruel world filled with torment and torture of your verbal, mental and emotional abuse which you so thrust upon your family on a daily basis .. and then you wonder why the words "I hate you" come from not only my lips, but my heart
Medical circumstances and employment are what prevents me from leaving at this time, but I promise you this, the day will come that you'll find yourself alone with your demons and when they have no longer have us to eat alive, they'll turn around and devour you.
You're sinking and we're going to pry free from your sickening grip
Stand back and helplessly watch as the "Captain" goes down with his ship
while your out drinkin' with your friend.
day after day it is the same ol' thing
you go to work, you go to Brians, then you come home and be mean
You give so little of yourself to those you claim to love
you offer only mistreat, verbal abuse and punishment and then say it is because.
Because of me and because of the kids .. we are to blame for the way you act.
You do not hold yourself accountable or responsible for your own behavior.
You scream about dish soap, toilet paper and how your the bread winner
and you demand your favors. You rule your home with an unkind hand
and we are to obey you "because you're" THE BOSS" KING OF THE CASTLE""YOUR THE MAN"
The truth of it is that your nothing but a drunken, pothead @$$^%!3 and this is a dungeon not a castle
You cuss and rage the evenings away
belittle, berate and criticize our every move and breath
Nothing is every good enough, nothing is right
you're always looking to argue, fuss and fight
we walk on eggshells when you are home
living in a land mine of your doing
trapped like rats we sit in the mire
at your mercy all we can do is hope
that you'll get tired of ranting and raving and leave us alone go out on the porch
and smoke your dope
Weed and booze are your constant companions
We've been reduced to angry reminders of why you are like you are
blamed for all your faults
You spew forth your vile about our nonexistent sex life
You call me all kinds of ugly names and then say, "I love you my wife"
You have us as your little prisoners here without a car, no money and dependent on you trapped in the ugliness of your cold, cruel world filled with torment and torture of your verbal, mental and emotional abuse which you so thrust upon your family on a daily basis .. and then you wonder why the words "I hate you" come from not only my lips, but my heart
Medical circumstances and employment are what prevents me from leaving at this time, but I promise you this, the day will come that you'll find yourself alone with your demons and when they have no longer have us to eat alive, they'll turn around and devour you.
You're sinking and we're going to pry free from your sickening grip
Stand back and helplessly watch as the "Captain" goes down with his ship
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Hi ImNot,
Welcome to SR. You've come to the right place! There are many here who have had similar experiences to yours, and they'll be along shortly to share their own experience, strength and hope.
If you have a chance, read some of the "stickies" at the top of the forums. They are some of our most well read and helpful threads. Many of us have found help and encouragement by reading Co Dependent No More by Melody Beattie. And many of us attend face to face meetings of Al Anon, Nar Anon or CODA - co dependents anonymous.
Is there a shelter or an abuse hotline you could call? It's possible that you don't have to continue living the way you and your children are currently living...
Hugs
Cats
Welcome to SR. You've come to the right place! There are many here who have had similar experiences to yours, and they'll be along shortly to share their own experience, strength and hope.
If you have a chance, read some of the "stickies" at the top of the forums. They are some of our most well read and helpful threads. Many of us have found help and encouragement by reading Co Dependent No More by Melody Beattie. And many of us attend face to face meetings of Al Anon, Nar Anon or CODA - co dependents anonymous.
Is there a shelter or an abuse hotline you could call? It's possible that you don't have to continue living the way you and your children are currently living...
Hugs
Cats
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
(((I'mNot))) We who love the addicts have our "bottoms" too... this can be a real starting place.
You are not a loser-magnet.... you are good, loving, kind woman. You are enough - just as you are.
((((hugs))))
You are not a loser-magnet.... you are good, loving, kind woman. You are enough - just as you are.
((((hugs))))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Up North
Posts: 105
(((Imnotcrazy))))
Welcome and I hope that you are safe.
Here's a hug, everything will be ok.
Find a womens shelter and give them a call. They will help. get out before it's too late.
But, then again maybe I should mind my own business.
There is a better way. Life will get better.
You are a worthwhile person. You and your children deserve to be loved and treated with kindness.
Welcome to SR. There's lots of wisdom, support, empathy and recovery here.
Welcome and I hope that you are safe.
Here's a hug, everything will be ok.
Find a womens shelter and give them a call. They will help. get out before it's too late.
But, then again maybe I should mind my own business.
There is a better way. Life will get better.
You are a worthwhile person. You and your children deserve to be loved and treated with kindness.
Welcome to SR. There's lots of wisdom, support, empathy and recovery here.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((Imnotcrazyuare))))))))
I'm so glad you found us. You sure sound as if you need a friend.
You'll find plenty of us here for that.
I'm Linda and the mother of a 25 yo addict. Not using at the moment, but still has the mentality.
I feel bad for you, your kids, and your husband.
Know why? I've been there and done that.
My exah and I were together for 10 years.
He was an mean drunk who smoked pot. Mostly weekends.
I did it for 10 years off and on. More off than on, cause I couldn't keep him at home.
When he was there, I'd kick him out. Only to let him come back a week later.
It was a decade filled with drama, chaos, verbal, and physical abuse.
I don't know how old your children are, but they will suffer as they get older.
I know mine have. Anxiety, panic, separation anxiety, phobias, and addictions.
My daughter is sober and gets counseling. My son is the addict. No counseling or recovery program.
I work my own program from codependency. You can too.
Keep comin' back.
I like your writing skills, btw. Ever thought about putting together a journal of poems? Or writing a book?
Sending prayers out to your family tonight.
I pray for strength and perseverance for you, my friend.
I'm so glad you found us. You sure sound as if you need a friend.
You'll find plenty of us here for that.
I'm Linda and the mother of a 25 yo addict. Not using at the moment, but still has the mentality.
I feel bad for you, your kids, and your husband.
Know why? I've been there and done that.
My exah and I were together for 10 years.
He was an mean drunk who smoked pot. Mostly weekends.
I did it for 10 years off and on. More off than on, cause I couldn't keep him at home.
When he was there, I'd kick him out. Only to let him come back a week later.
It was a decade filled with drama, chaos, verbal, and physical abuse.
I don't know how old your children are, but they will suffer as they get older.
I know mine have. Anxiety, panic, separation anxiety, phobias, and addictions.
My daughter is sober and gets counseling. My son is the addict. No counseling or recovery program.
I work my own program from codependency. You can too.
Keep comin' back.
I like your writing skills, btw. Ever thought about putting together a journal of poems? Or writing a book?
Sending prayers out to your family tonight.
I pray for strength and perseverance for you, my friend.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
whew... i hate that u are going thru this.isn"t there anywhere you can go? you do not deserve this. read arond,it is only going to get worse. i hope he hits his bottom soon. i am sending prayers for you & prayers he will either find recovery or hit his bottom. hugs,hope
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Welcome, Imnotcrazy. I like your writing skills too. I'm sorry for what you're going through, but glad you found SR. These so much good info and encouragement here. Be sure to read all the sticky posts at the top of the forum. Especially "What addicts do". Addictions are progressive. It gets worse over time. If it gets worse, the women's shelters can offer you a way out, when you are ready. Keep reading and posting. You're among new friends who care.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
