suzieq1972

Talked to AH this morning...he called at 5:50 am...thank goodness I was already up otherwise I wouldn't have answered the phone. He said again that he wants to come home and asked me what he needed to do in order to do that. I told him he needed to get professional help. He knows the answer to that question so WHY does he keep asking me over and over again? I guess he thought I was going to have a list of phone numbers ready for him when he called. Of course, when we hung up I felt bad for not having info for him. It's his job to get the info and call though isn't it? I already dragged him to rehab once (what a mistake). Is it okay for me to have the information ready and then he make the calls or should he do it all himself? I feel like I've done so much for him already what with the 1st rehab and then the psych hospital and nothing changed. He just acts so helpless and sometimes I think it's an act, but then again I don't know. Then at times I really don't care and wish he would grow up!!!! He was never helpless before.

He called me again after I got to work and told me how much he missed his family. Once again he asked what he needed to do. ARGGHHH!! I wish he would go to the doctor and have his back checked first because supposedly his addiction to pain pills started with his back. He always talks about how bad his back is hurting. Of course 2 days ago he told me that he couldn't help the fact that narcotics are the only thing that stops his pain. That should be a sign.

Sorry for the rambling, I know this is just all thrown together. Just trying to get my thoughts out.

Barbara52

No you aren't responsible for spoon feeding him the info on possible resources. But you can provide him with a list if you wanted to. If it were my AH, I would then be prepared for the "can you call them for me" kinda stuff. If I let him, my AH would never do what he knew he had to do. As a matter of fact he still doesn't.

Having said that, the day I moved out I did make sure AH had the resources available through our pastor and the phone nubmer/address of an alcohol evaluation program, and a recovering alcoholic willing to take him to AA. But I made it clear it was up to AH to make use of those resources. He so far has chosen not to, at least as far as I know.

denny57

Probably because you keep answering and he keeps hoping he'll wear you down. A choice I made in this situation was to refuse to engage in the conversation at all. A simple "we already discussed this" worked for me.

suzieq1972

Thanks for the info. I knew I couldn't call for him...did that the first time and that didn't work. I'll try the "we already discussed this" tactic. It's not like he doesn't have a computer or a phone book.

PaperDolls

He's trying to manipulate you. He wants you to feel sorry for him and save him.

I think you're doing the right thing. I know it's hard.

hugs to you.

respektingme

I had 2 herniated discs in my back for 9 months. The docs were careful when they prescribed the hydrocodone. I don't have an addictive personality, so I wasn't even tempted to get addicted to the stuff. Bothered my stomach anyway. However, I was desperate for relief. I did more research than I ever did in college. Tried everything from epidurals to a tenz unit, to physical therapy, chiropractic to traction. Wound up having surgery and have been pain free ever since. I'm not saying it's okay to have an addiction. Addiction subject aside, I honestly can not imagine living with that type of pain the rest of my life, although some people do it. I was desperate for help, and didn't need anyone to find numbers for me. I flew from Arkansas to California to be operated on by a doctor who had just started performing some new type of procedure. That's desperate. I remember lying in bed (had a baby at the time) thinking that I'd eventually have to put a bullet in my head if I didn't find relief. The pain is that bad. Don't know if his is, but if it is, I really feel for him.