Notices

Sponsor questions

Old 08-28-2007, 12:29 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
bjork's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 257
Smile Sponsor questions

Hello everybody! I have been lurking around for about a week, but today I signed up and this is my first post. I asked a woman to sponsor me two weeks ago. YAY! However, we haven't done anything AA related. We have gotten together for fun once. I am calling her almost every day and leaving brief messages just as a courtesy to let her know I'm doing ok, go to daily meetings, or whatever. We catch eachother maybe once every couple of days and get to talk. She actually lives near me. I am wondering when things usually get rolling with meeting with sponsors, discussing Big Book, working/discussing the steps, sharing stories, the prayers, etc. Are these things someting I should be more focused on doing on my own?
bjork is offline  
Old 08-28-2007, 12:39 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
They should get rolling whenever you're ready to do the work, and hopefully she's willing and able to lead you along. Every sponsor takes a different approach, maybe she's waiting for you to ask as an indication of your willingness? Doesn't hurt to be reading the Big Book and praying on your own, the more the better IMO.

There's an AA pamphlet called Questions And Answers On Sponsorship that explains nicely the role of a sponsor. You should be able to pick one up at your meetings or read it online here http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
Astro is offline  
Old 08-28-2007, 07:28 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Bjork,

I'm sorry I missed this thread until now - welcome to Sober Recovery, and welcome to a new way of life. Astro gave you some excellent advice. I believe in open communication, so if you're wondering about these things you asked about, let your sponsor know so that she can begin working the steps with you as soon as possible.
It's a great idea to read the BB, and I found it helpful in early sobriety to attend BB study meetings so that I could get a better grasp of the steps, and how the program worked. I hope this helps. Feel free to continue posting any questions about the program or recovery that may come up, or you are welcome to PM me.

Rowan
Rowan is offline  
Old 08-29-2007, 01:11 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
hi Bjork -

I recently got a new sponsee, and have also taken a few visits to get to know her a bit before settling down to business. It may be nothing more mysterious than scheduling conflicts, the 'getting to know you' thing, or maybe she's waiting for you to ask when to we get started?
Also - someitmes, it takes a little time going to meetings before some sponsors are comfortable with starting the steps.
You won't know if you don't ask.

Hope that helps - and good job!
barb dwyer is offline  
Old 08-29-2007, 01:22 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!

Do read what Astro suggested

Glad you are moving forward!
CarolD is offline  
Old 08-29-2007, 10:44 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Old & Sober Member of AA
 
Jersey Nonny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Agreed...there are no hard and fast "rules"...most sponsors follow the procedures and pace set by their own sponsors. You do need to feel comfortable with each other...attending some meetings together, having coffee afterwards, is a great way to break the AA ice. Good luck...hope it will all be a pleasant experience for you and that you and your sponsor will have a long, sober relationship.
Jersey Nonny is offline  
Old 08-29-2007, 03:43 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
bjork's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 257
Thanks for the replies! I really appreciate your responses. I will talk to my sponsor about getting started
bjork is offline  
Old 09-02-2007, 02:24 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
indigo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
I would like to welcome you to SR. Make yourself comfortable, someone is alawys here to listen and share with you. I'm glad that you found us.
indigo is offline  
Old 09-15-2007, 06:09 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
bjork's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 257
Well....it is five weeks now and we still haven't done anything. We were going to go to a conference on Sunday and she cancelled because she had plans with a friend. She forgot when she had planned with me. We were supposed to get together yesterday to go over my "Woman's Way Throught the Twelve Steps" workbook. She called and said she was at the coffee shop we were going to meet at and she was going to go home (5pm). I called her back and she didn't answer so I left a message saying I was on my way home and to call me. We were supposed to meet after I left work (6pm). She has not returned my call. So I haven't even had the opportunity to see if there was a miscommunication. This sponsor thing has not been a good experience at all!! I feel let down, frustrated, rejected, and angry. I almost feel that not even attempting to find a sponsor to replace her would be best.
bjork is offline  
Old 09-15-2007, 06:18 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Then that is up to you you must feel totally at ease in this relationship, with a true sponcer I think they should be closer than a spouse! You already have doubt in her, and there is no contract just tell her you feel as if she isn't giving you enough time to work your program, she does seem to be a little caught up in hers. Welcome I guess if I was to give advise, which is something I don't do Id say don't give up and keep going back and comming back here, these are powerful resourses......and welcome!
WLDKATZ is offline  
Old 09-15-2007, 06:38 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Coffee Drinker
 
GrouchoTheCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
It may be that she is simply too busy, and maybe she shouldn't have taken on a sponsee right now.

You might wish to look around for someone else.

The above is, of course, a wild arse guess, so you should maybe pray and follow your heart.

Ted
GrouchoTheCat is offline  
Old 09-15-2007, 09:31 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
1_day@_a_time's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
you may hear from time to time about "firing'' a sponsor, suggest you do nothing of this nature, just gracefully move along and find someone else to connect with........

seems like it was just not meant to be, perhaps a blessing.
1_day@_a_time is offline  
Old 09-16-2007, 02:14 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Old & Sober Member of AA
 
Jersey Nonny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Hmmmmmn...I've known people to take on newcomers when they really shouldn't have...maybe too busy with others they sponsor, or their own lives. For whatever reason, they accept and then can't fulfill the commitment. NOT YOUR FAULT!

I've been asked, and had to decline...but, always tried to steer the newcomer to someone else who could sponsor them.

Start looking around for someone else as soon as possible. This obviously isn't working out, and she can't be honest enough to tell you...maybe she's afraid you'll feel rejected. This is your program, your life, your choice...not a "marriage - 'til death do us part". Good luck!
Jersey Nonny is offline  
Old 09-16-2007, 08:42 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: www.ericwhitfieldart.com
Posts: 114
I am so sorry to hear about your experience. PLEASE try not to allow it to be discouraging. I can also understand your feelings about not seeking someone new....while sponsorship is certainly not for everyone, it appears that for whatever reason, you have chosen to make it a part of your experience. That so, I believe that you should ask someone else...even if it is on a "temporary" or "trial" basis. Good luck!!
slash is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:44 AM.