Back again...
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 179
Back again...
I joined SR in November of 06' after a rough few years and had 3 months of sobriety which were awesome. Work was great, I was keeping up around my house with chores, I was walking my dog, hanging out with my parents, feeling good. These 3 months were preceded by 6 years of total crap where I was involved in a hit and run, lost all my friends, got in a lot of fights, tried to kill myself 3 times, and lost all trust from my family (I'm 23 years old). I spent last thanksgiving in a mental hospital after cutting myself pretty bad, and was able to keep it together for 3 months after that. I relapsed in March and have been worse than ever. Drinking way more than ever, no friends, no real reason to go to work except to drink after I'm done (plus drinking is expensive).
One part of me says "dude you're 23, have a good time", but the other part says "dude, you're 23 and can't go a day without drinking" (15-20 drinks per day, 25 on a day off). I have to stop since I can't live this life much longer, but I don't want to hurt my family when I ask for their support yet again with my drinking. They view me as the responsible one who can make a decent living without help from anyone.
I made a call to my local AA and I am expecting a call in the AM from a seasoned AA member to take me to a meeting (I'm too scared to walk through those doors alone) but I'm scared of the emotions I'll face when I do make it to a meeting. I do realize I need to stop since I had a brief taste of sobriety and it was awesome, but I guess I'm at that point where it really is do or die. I need to do this since I still have a lot of things I want to do in life, yet drinking has always been a top priority since I was 17. I guess this post is more for my own good, but I would like some advice from people who had to deal with this at an early age.
Also- I'm sure this is redundant, but make sure your kids know alcohol can really **** them up as early as high school. I had no idea so I went wild and I am paying for it now. I'm ashamed and embarrased by my drinking, yet I still do it. My folks always ignored it when I came home bombed, which I can't blame them for, but I will not make that mistake if I ever decide I am responsible enough to have kids.
One part of me says "dude you're 23, have a good time", but the other part says "dude, you're 23 and can't go a day without drinking" (15-20 drinks per day, 25 on a day off). I have to stop since I can't live this life much longer, but I don't want to hurt my family when I ask for their support yet again with my drinking. They view me as the responsible one who can make a decent living without help from anyone.
I made a call to my local AA and I am expecting a call in the AM from a seasoned AA member to take me to a meeting (I'm too scared to walk through those doors alone) but I'm scared of the emotions I'll face when I do make it to a meeting. I do realize I need to stop since I had a brief taste of sobriety and it was awesome, but I guess I'm at that point where it really is do or die. I need to do this since I still have a lot of things I want to do in life, yet drinking has always been a top priority since I was 17. I guess this post is more for my own good, but I would like some advice from people who had to deal with this at an early age.
Also- I'm sure this is redundant, but make sure your kids know alcohol can really **** them up as early as high school. I had no idea so I went wild and I am paying for it now. I'm ashamed and embarrased by my drinking, yet I still do it. My folks always ignored it when I came home bombed, which I can't blame them for, but I will not make that mistake if I ever decide I am responsible enough to have kids.
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