This is where I am today...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
This is where I am today...
Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE or PMS, does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!
I'm sorry. What was the question?
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!
I'm sorry. What was the question?
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Oh Gosh.. I am so glad I am entering menopause and no humans share my house with me.. ROFLMAO
The cats, kitten and dog suffer enough.. and CAN"T THEY LAY ON ANYTHING WITHOUT LEAVING THEIR FUR COATS BEHIND??!!!!!!
The cats, kitten and dog suffer enough.. and CAN"T THEY LAY ON ANYTHING WITHOUT LEAVING THEIR FUR COATS BEHIND??!!!!!!
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
menopause for me is the definition of a split personallity. Hot Cold Hot Cold. Happy Sad, I can take someone's head off and stuff it down their neck, or be the sweetest angle in the world. LOL And Yes, I'm the only one who can change a stinking light bulb.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
they'll change the light bulb right after they change the empty roll on the toliet paper dispenser - right?
No, they just place the new roll on TOP of the empty one - what the heck is that about?????????????????????
No, they just place the new roll on TOP of the empty one - what the heck is that about?????????????????????
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: lyles Tennessee
Posts: 21
Here's another one for ya.....You sit for a while making out your grocery list, asking everyone in the house if they know if there is anything that the house is in need of. You look in all the cabinets, the fridge out in the freezer. Finally you go, come back with $200 worth of stuff, and one of these darn kids asks "mom why didn't you get cat litter?" AAAAAHHHHH Gotta love em'!
Have a great day ya'll
Have a great day ya'll
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hormones, getcher hormones. My doctor gave me mine when I told her I wouldn't live one more day with one more hot flash and one more mood swing without killing somebody. I think that last part caught her attention. 
Thanks Cat, I needed the laugh too.
Hugs
Thanks Cat, I needed the laugh too.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
One of my fondest memories of childhood was the day my mom, fueled by a menopausal rage, pulled everything out of our closets and piled them up in the middle of the floor and stomped on them. She was trying to prove a point that my sister and I needed to hang our stuff up. Didn't make sense to us if that was her point, why was she making a bigger mess
Now thanks to menopause striking me, I understand. Hugs, Marle
Now thanks to menopause striking me, I understand. Hugs, Marle
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
And here I thought I was the only one that had entered insaneville. But I was shoved I tell you.
I have a dog that won't go out...until you get on the phone. He's worse than a small child
And is it really more difficult to put a dish in the dishwasher than to throw it in the sink? Am I the only one who passed the dish loading exam?
Or how about "Mom do I have clean socks?"
LOOK and you tell me!
I've finally resorted to answering no, regardless. If they stumble across a pair, well its their lucky day.
And my personal favorite, when BOTH cordless phones go dead because no one will return them to the cradle to charge. Of course I had to find them first to realise they were dead (in the couch, under the couch, on the front porch).
But at least having no phone made the dog happy.
I'm in hormone he!!
I have a dog that won't go out...until you get on the phone. He's worse than a small child
And is it really more difficult to put a dish in the dishwasher than to throw it in the sink? Am I the only one who passed the dish loading exam?
Or how about "Mom do I have clean socks?"
LOOK and you tell me!
I've finally resorted to answering no, regardless. If they stumble across a pair, well its their lucky day.
And my personal favorite, when BOTH cordless phones go dead because no one will return them to the cradle to charge. Of course I had to find them first to realise they were dead (in the couch, under the couch, on the front porch).
But at least having no phone made the dog happy.
I'm in hormone he!!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
You know, if everyone would just do everything I want before I know I want it the way I want it done, this menopause thing would be a piece of cake.
CAN'T ANYONE IN THIS DAMN HOUSE EVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT WITHOUT ME?
Anyone up for some Yahtzee?
CAN'T ANYONE IN THIS DAMN HOUSE EVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT WITHOUT ME?
Anyone up for some Yahtzee?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
"Where's my underwear?" is my favourite thing to hear.
How on earth would I know? I wash them and put them away in the socks and underwear drawer....you'd think he'd look there first, yes? Noooooooo. Never occurred to him.
He better be grateful that I got my hormones.
How on earth would I know? I wash them and put them away in the socks and underwear drawer....you'd think he'd look there first, yes? Noooooooo. Never occurred to him.
He better be grateful that I got my hormones.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Cat this is great and I sure need the laughter tonight, thanks!!
OMG, Marle...I remember my mom doing the same thing with a bookcase that was around 10 feet long and 2 tiers high; she hurled books everywhere...what a huge mess! It wasn't until I read this that I realized....of course...menopause! My sister and I just thought she lost her mind, but we knew enough to shut up and hang low.
I have a plaque in one of my bathrooms that says "Changing the toilet paper roll will NOT cause brain disease"
One of my fondest memories of childhood was the day my mom, fueled by a menopausal rage, pulled everything out of our closets and piled them up in the middle of the floor and stomped on them. She was trying to prove a point that my sister and I needed to hang our stuff up. Didn't make sense to us if that was her point, why was she making a bigger mess Now thanks to menopause striking me, I understand. Hugs, Marle
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: lyles Tennessee
Posts: 21
OMG these are sooo funny!!! I understand the menopause in women but what about all the grumpy old men? I work in a pharmacy with a drive up window. The sound quality isen't so great so I have to ask people to spell there names sometimes. These old men just look at me and say "How do you think you spell Housenfeld, Vanderver....etc. Heck if I knew I woulden't have asked! Or they call up and say I need my meds refilled I say ok what the name of the medicine they say I need all of them.... well duh!!....everything you have had filled in the last 3 years is in here please tell me the name of the drug......deep sigh on there part...I just wanna hang up.........Grumpy Old Men!!! sheeesh.........oh ya and can they really not smell themselves? I mean come on take a bath for pete's sake!!!
Greateachday......I like your plaque in the bathroom think I will cross stitch one for my bathroom too
I am 40 and looking forward very much to being able to be grumpy right back to these old geezers and blaming it on menopause...he he
Have a great day all
Gina
Greateachday......I like your plaque in the bathroom think I will cross stitch one for my bathroom too
I am 40 and looking forward very much to being able to be grumpy right back to these old geezers and blaming it on menopause...he he
Have a great day all
Gina
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