Finding help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Romeoville, Illinois
Posts: 49
Finding help
This may be the wrong forum to post this in so if it is moved that is ok. My boyfriend is an addict, and has expressed a desire for rehab. There are so many services available, and Im having trouble sorting thru them. We dont have very much money and although he is in the military, it is a strong possibility that he will be discharged due to problems with the addiction and be released without medical benefits. I know there are some services available like this, but he honestly needs dual diagnosis services and Im having a hard time sorting thru all of this. Is it true also that some private centers have servicing or charity beds? Where do I start in all this?? Thankyou for your input
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
Well, my parents went through this with my sister. I know that the place she ended up going was a place that often works with the court system for court ordered treatment... perhaps places like that are more prone to charge less, or to make payment arrangements? I don't know for sure, but perhaps you could call whatever your county's version of drug court would be and ask them where they tend to send people.
Has he had an assessment done yet? Oftentimes, if the addict goes to a hospital saying that they want help, the hospital can do an assessment to determine what route would be best for that individual. He could explain to the people doing the assessment that his income and ability to pay for services are very limited, and they should be able to point him in the right direction, as they normally have a big long list of places that they can refer him to.
Another route to go might be to look for rehabs that offer other aspects that are important to him... length of stay, method of treatment, etc... and call the ones that he seems okay with going to and ask them if they offer a payment plan or a sliding fee scale.
Probably the easiest one to do would be the hospital route, but obviously you would want to do that immediately, while he still has insurance.
I'm so happy for you and him that he has decided he wants help. Good luck to both of you. Keep us posted
*hugs and prayers*
Has he had an assessment done yet? Oftentimes, if the addict goes to a hospital saying that they want help, the hospital can do an assessment to determine what route would be best for that individual. He could explain to the people doing the assessment that his income and ability to pay for services are very limited, and they should be able to point him in the right direction, as they normally have a big long list of places that they can refer him to.
Another route to go might be to look for rehabs that offer other aspects that are important to him... length of stay, method of treatment, etc... and call the ones that he seems okay with going to and ask them if they offer a payment plan or a sliding fee scale.
Probably the easiest one to do would be the hospital route, but obviously you would want to do that immediately, while he still has insurance.
I'm so happy for you and him that he has decided he wants help. Good luck to both of you. Keep us posted
*hugs and prayers*
Survivor
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 149
Hi, I am going to probably say a couple of things you may or may not understand ....but as you get further down the road hopefully you willl.....
Has your Bf just expressed a desire for rehab or is he really ready to do the hard work required.....
Why are you doing the looking for rehabs for him....why is he not looking for help for himself.....He is an adult, it is his addiction.....
If you are new to addiction, these questions may not make any sense or may seem harsh.....But as you read and learn you will find that for an addict to find recovery....first he must really want it, be willing to make a lifetime commitment to staying clean and second he will never really want it, as long as he doesn't face any consequences of his using.....never do for them what they can and should do for themselves......
Peace and
Has your Bf just expressed a desire for rehab or is he really ready to do the hard work required.....
Why are you doing the looking for rehabs for him....why is he not looking for help for himself.....He is an adult, it is his addiction.....
If you are new to addiction, these questions may not make any sense or may seem harsh.....But as you read and learn you will find that for an addict to find recovery....first he must really want it, be willing to make a lifetime commitment to staying clean and second he will never really want it, as long as he doesn't face any consequences of his using.....never do for them what they can and should do for themselves......
Peace and
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Romeoville, Illinois
Posts: 49
Thankyou for your responses, To answer some of the above questions. My boyfriend has expressed a desire for help, whether he knows exactly what that entails, Im not sure, he has never been in any kind of treatment. All that he has said is that he is sick of being depressed and hating himself, and the mess he makes of his life when he is using drugs. He is surrently stationed in California in the marinecorps, and because of legal issues is placed in a very restricted setting, unable to do research as i can. However he has gone to the chaplain on base and spoken with his commanding officer about his problem. Before he can be placed in a treatment program, the military has to decide whether or not they are going to discharge him. If they keep him in he will get help either because he wants it, or they place him in it mandatorily for popping on a drug test. Iam doing footwork, because if in the unfortunate event that he is discharged back home, he needs to go straight into treatment, I have spoken with him about that and he has said that he is willing to do this. I dont know maybe it isnt enough maybe it is, but for today i am Thanking god that he is asking for help, because last week he wasent, and I will help him find help. There are many things that I wont do for him that i learned from past mistakes, but this person I love is asking for help and I will help him find it. What he does with it is up to him, whether he sticks with it is up to him.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Posts: 69
Hi Graci,
You've found the right forum. Everyone here has their own "been there" story. We are also working on our own recovery from care-taking. So, do what you have to do. I'm glad you are not providing a soft landing at your home. Get him in treatment, then start taking care of YOU.
Keep reading and posting. Re-hab is just the beginning. I'm glad you're here.
Molly
You've found the right forum. Everyone here has their own "been there" story. We are also working on our own recovery from care-taking. So, do what you have to do. I'm glad you are not providing a soft landing at your home. Get him in treatment, then start taking care of YOU.
Keep reading and posting. Re-hab is just the beginning. I'm glad you're here.
Molly
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
you are in the right place. i doubt there is much you can do for your b.f. with him in service.they call all the shots. hopefully they will get him some help.keep posting & let us know how u r. read around all the post.there is lots of help for u. prayers for u both.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm glad you found us...welcome! I do understand about an addict doing all that he or she can do for himself, but at the same time, I too did research when my addict asked for help. Getting past the red tape, the intial calls just to hear, sorry no beds, and to come up with some potential ideas is sometimes a really daunting task. I find it daunting just to get past insurance companies and get a referral for a medical condition, and I am not an addict. I found that by having a list of locations and phone numbers for her to call, it helped her to find help quicker.
The type of resources available to your boyfriend will depend on his location, whether he is willing to go elsewhere for help and whether/how much insurance will cover. In my state, insurers are pretty ridiculous...They will only cover very limited treatment until the addict proves (by relapsing) that he or she needs more intensive treatment. It's like a set up for failure or death. But I found out with some help from my child's counselor, that there was treatment available out of state that was less expensive, covered by insurance (because the facility was smart enough to bill it as daily intensive outpatient treatment and bill the client a minimal amount for room and board) and provided good inpatient coverage.
Doing internet searches is a good start. Our state health department provides listings of inpatient and outpatient treamtent facilities and by linking on to their sites, I learned their fees, whether they provide grants for treatment, etc. There are also programs like the Salvation Army that are free for those in need. Often AA or NA long time members or sponsors are also very knowledgable about sources of treatment...I've seen them help addicts asking for help to find detox facilities or rehab services.
The other thing I learned in this journey is that rehab is not the cure all. I would strongly encourage any addict seeking recovery to transition by living in a halfway house. The more chances to be sourrounded by a clean and sober environment and work a program of recovery, the better. Of course this will be his choice, but I am mentioning it because sometimes we think 30 days of rehab brings back the "old" pre-drug person.
I hope he embraces recovery...I hope you will take this time too to work your recovery as well. Hugs.
The type of resources available to your boyfriend will depend on his location, whether he is willing to go elsewhere for help and whether/how much insurance will cover. In my state, insurers are pretty ridiculous...They will only cover very limited treatment until the addict proves (by relapsing) that he or she needs more intensive treatment. It's like a set up for failure or death. But I found out with some help from my child's counselor, that there was treatment available out of state that was less expensive, covered by insurance (because the facility was smart enough to bill it as daily intensive outpatient treatment and bill the client a minimal amount for room and board) and provided good inpatient coverage.
Doing internet searches is a good start. Our state health department provides listings of inpatient and outpatient treamtent facilities and by linking on to their sites, I learned their fees, whether they provide grants for treatment, etc. There are also programs like the Salvation Army that are free for those in need. Often AA or NA long time members or sponsors are also very knowledgable about sources of treatment...I've seen them help addicts asking for help to find detox facilities or rehab services.
The other thing I learned in this journey is that rehab is not the cure all. I would strongly encourage any addict seeking recovery to transition by living in a halfway house. The more chances to be sourrounded by a clean and sober environment and work a program of recovery, the better. Of course this will be his choice, but I am mentioning it because sometimes we think 30 days of rehab brings back the "old" pre-drug person.
I hope he embraces recovery...I hope you will take this time too to work your recovery as well. Hugs.
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