Finally At Peace
Finally At Peace
I have been lurking on this forum for years and am finally happy to say that, believe it or not, things are ending on friendly terms for me and my ABF.
My other half decided to sober up over 100 days ago and living together has been peaceful. He speaks of his struggles but swears that he will never go back to the life he was living. For me it made me realize that I was living in a COMPLETELY CRAZY enviroment. It was unhealthy, scary, depressing, stressful, etc... I now know that I could never, will never and have no idea how I have survived 11 years without killing him or me.
His sobriety has not changed my decision to move on. I can not risk living the way I once did. I will never be able to truly trust him again and his ugliness that seeped from him while intoxicated is burned in my mind. That about kills all emotional and physical attraction on my end. I will not allow anyone to manipulate me again.
I honestly don't hold anything against him. I actively participated in his illness so I am partially to blame... I guess. I wish him well and hope that he has a fresh start on life and chooses to maintain his sobriety.
In a way I got lucky, I didn't have to deal with what a lot of you have/had. But, nonetheless, it has been equally painful and destructive.
Best wishes to all and know that it can get better. You can find the strength to make decisions that are best for you. You can learn to live for you and not your partner. You can live in peace.
My other half decided to sober up over 100 days ago and living together has been peaceful. He speaks of his struggles but swears that he will never go back to the life he was living. For me it made me realize that I was living in a COMPLETELY CRAZY enviroment. It was unhealthy, scary, depressing, stressful, etc... I now know that I could never, will never and have no idea how I have survived 11 years without killing him or me.
His sobriety has not changed my decision to move on. I can not risk living the way I once did. I will never be able to truly trust him again and his ugliness that seeped from him while intoxicated is burned in my mind. That about kills all emotional and physical attraction on my end. I will not allow anyone to manipulate me again.
I honestly don't hold anything against him. I actively participated in his illness so I am partially to blame... I guess. I wish him well and hope that he has a fresh start on life and chooses to maintain his sobriety.
In a way I got lucky, I didn't have to deal with what a lot of you have/had. But, nonetheless, it has been equally painful and destructive.
Best wishes to all and know that it can get better. You can find the strength to make decisions that are best for you. You can learn to live for you and not your partner. You can live in peace.
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