First call from police???
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
First call from police???
Do you remember the first time? That first call. Mr/Ms._____ This is Officer ______, we have ______ and they have been arrested for driving under the influence and need someone to come pick them up.
And of course it's always between midnight and 2:00 in the morning - what's that about? Always between midnight & 2:00 am - right?
Boy, can I still remember that phone conversation - it's been 15 yrs & I think I can still hear that officer's voice. My heart fell thru the floor. But do you think that woke me up? No way. Did I mention that it was the nite before our wedding? Did I mention that I married him anyway? Cause you know you can't cause a scene in front of your family, your friends, your co-workers? After all what would people say.
Today is my wedding anniversary - It's been 15 yrs that I have lived this life. In 2003, my AH went into treatment and seriously devoted himself to a true program of recovery. Wow, it was truly awesome for a couple of yrs. You could see the spiritual growth in him. It was awesome. I also started attending Al-Anon and found my way into a program of recovery. We celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary at a Gratitude AA/Al-Anon meeting. It was the best anniversary I have ever had.
But the disease is cunning, baffling and powerful - it doesn't like to stay away. Relapse is a very real thing in this word of addiction. I have learned that even tho they may relapse I don't have to go with them.
As I sit today, thinking about 15 yrs ago - should I have stood up - said whoa something is wrong here - should I have listened to that inner voice saying don't, who knows - It is not for me to second guess. It is what it is - I have to know that I am where I am today, because I needed to walk this path.
Maybe just to learn the things I needed to learn - maybe for some of you to listen to this story to know that it really doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. That the first time you pick them up at the police station will be just as hard as the 10th time. That after yrs of sobriety the disease can still come back and that it still hurts to see the one you love controlled by something so relentless.
BUT, I also have learned that I am in control of my life. I have everything where I could walk out of my house at any time, if I wanted. Right now, that is not the choice for me. I have 15 yrs invested in this life - I have seen the good - I have seen the recovery life and I have made the choice that I'm not yet ready to give up hope that it will come back.
So here I am - 15 yrs later, but now I am so much better equiped with the tools of recovery - tonight if I got that call - I would politely tell the officer, "Officer, there is no one here available to help him, but thank you for calling"
My Recovery is about choices - what choices are best for ME. I think that is what I am most grateful for is the fact that today I know that I have choices that I can make according to what I want not what others say or do or think. It's about what is best for me and what is the path that my HP is guiding me to take.
I pray that all of you find the path that lead you to the ability to make the choices for what is right for YOU. It is very freeing and liberating to know that You have taken back the right to make those choices for your life.
Wishing you Serenity & Peace,
Rita
And of course it's always between midnight and 2:00 in the morning - what's that about? Always between midnight & 2:00 am - right?
Boy, can I still remember that phone conversation - it's been 15 yrs & I think I can still hear that officer's voice. My heart fell thru the floor. But do you think that woke me up? No way. Did I mention that it was the nite before our wedding? Did I mention that I married him anyway? Cause you know you can't cause a scene in front of your family, your friends, your co-workers? After all what would people say.
Today is my wedding anniversary - It's been 15 yrs that I have lived this life. In 2003, my AH went into treatment and seriously devoted himself to a true program of recovery. Wow, it was truly awesome for a couple of yrs. You could see the spiritual growth in him. It was awesome. I also started attending Al-Anon and found my way into a program of recovery. We celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary at a Gratitude AA/Al-Anon meeting. It was the best anniversary I have ever had.
But the disease is cunning, baffling and powerful - it doesn't like to stay away. Relapse is a very real thing in this word of addiction. I have learned that even tho they may relapse I don't have to go with them.
As I sit today, thinking about 15 yrs ago - should I have stood up - said whoa something is wrong here - should I have listened to that inner voice saying don't, who knows - It is not for me to second guess. It is what it is - I have to know that I am where I am today, because I needed to walk this path.
Maybe just to learn the things I needed to learn - maybe for some of you to listen to this story to know that it really doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. That the first time you pick them up at the police station will be just as hard as the 10th time. That after yrs of sobriety the disease can still come back and that it still hurts to see the one you love controlled by something so relentless.
BUT, I also have learned that I am in control of my life. I have everything where I could walk out of my house at any time, if I wanted. Right now, that is not the choice for me. I have 15 yrs invested in this life - I have seen the good - I have seen the recovery life and I have made the choice that I'm not yet ready to give up hope that it will come back.
So here I am - 15 yrs later, but now I am so much better equiped with the tools of recovery - tonight if I got that call - I would politely tell the officer, "Officer, there is no one here available to help him, but thank you for calling"
My Recovery is about choices - what choices are best for ME. I think that is what I am most grateful for is the fact that today I know that I have choices that I can make according to what I want not what others say or do or think. It's about what is best for me and what is the path that my HP is guiding me to take.
I pray that all of you find the path that lead you to the ability to make the choices for what is right for YOU. It is very freeing and liberating to know that You have taken back the right to make those choices for your life.
Wishing you Serenity & Peace,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Quinlan, TX
Posts: 73
thank you alot for sharing that.. I have 19 years invested in this my relationship with my ah. And we have had some good years and some bad years. I made it though the drinking.. And he was real mean then. And now its pills ,meth and god only knows what else. He done rehab a few times. first time he said he just wasnt quiting. then he went back a couple years later (recently) and now its not everyone can quit I have an inbalance. So good luck and my prayers are with you..
HUGS
HUGS
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Oh yeah, I remember. It was with the kids father who always went to bars, got drunk and always got in a fight. The police would call and I would bail him out. It got real old. He was vicious mean and extremely abusive in every way. It lasted 3 years. Unbeknownst to me he was a serial rapist and was arrested 1 year after I left him.
He is now serving life in prison without parole. Right where he belongs.
He is now serving life in prison without parole. Right where he belongs.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Thank you Rita for sharing with me....recovery is awesome....
25 yrs this past June 12th my husband and I acknowledged our 25th
wedding anniversary....however we have been separated by distance
since this past Dec.
I had the opportunity to return to Baton Rouge with a job interview
allowing me to chose to remain here at home instead of Houston and
begin a new job.
I do altho remember 25 yrs ago the night before our wedding day, i
was out till 2am drinking....and i couldnt drive myself home....yet
i was walking down the isle at 11am the next morning with a horrible
hangover,,,,
Then at 7 and 8 yrs marriage i began to spiral out of control with
my drinking where on the first incident i ran off the road less than
a mile away from my home at 2 am with the police calling my
husband to inform him i was on my way to the hospital in the
back of an EMS truck....
Then a few months later i tried to end my life with my family
performing a family intervention on me....calling the police to
pick me up and take me to rehab....
Today....17 yrs sober....it still amazes me at how much i
put my family thru with my disease....
I always thougth of my husband as the calm in my storm of
life or the angel with the halo.....
Anyway,,,,i chose to leave and begin a new chapter in my
recovery life....and I havent a clue at to what will transpire
down the road with my marriage....What ever happens will
ultimately be my HP's Will and not mine.
Im glad u r taking care of u Rita....
and congrats on ur anniversary...
You both have something wonderful to celebrate....life.
Oh...u have a lovely picture posted of the 2 of u....
25 yrs this past June 12th my husband and I acknowledged our 25th
wedding anniversary....however we have been separated by distance
since this past Dec.
I had the opportunity to return to Baton Rouge with a job interview
allowing me to chose to remain here at home instead of Houston and
begin a new job.
I do altho remember 25 yrs ago the night before our wedding day, i
was out till 2am drinking....and i couldnt drive myself home....yet
i was walking down the isle at 11am the next morning with a horrible
hangover,,,,
Then at 7 and 8 yrs marriage i began to spiral out of control with
my drinking where on the first incident i ran off the road less than
a mile away from my home at 2 am with the police calling my
husband to inform him i was on my way to the hospital in the
back of an EMS truck....
Then a few months later i tried to end my life with my family
performing a family intervention on me....calling the police to
pick me up and take me to rehab....
Today....17 yrs sober....it still amazes me at how much i
put my family thru with my disease....
I always thougth of my husband as the calm in my storm of
life or the angel with the halo.....
Anyway,,,,i chose to leave and begin a new chapter in my
recovery life....and I havent a clue at to what will transpire
down the road with my marriage....What ever happens will
ultimately be my HP's Will and not mine.
Im glad u r taking care of u Rita....
and congrats on ur anniversary...
You both have something wonderful to celebrate....life.
Oh...u have a lovely picture posted of the 2 of u....
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Do I ever remember.
The very first call I got was after he had been arrested for beating some other guy up with a pool stick so badly, he had brain trauma. We had been dating for maybe 6 months.
No, that was not a big enough red flag for me!
I couldn't agree more!
The very first call I got was after he had been arrested for beating some other guy up with a pool stick so badly, he had brain trauma. We had been dating for maybe 6 months.
No, that was not a big enough red flag for me!
It is what it is - I have to know that I am where I am today, because I needed to walk this path.
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