renee18

August 13, 2007

The last week has been much I challenge for me. I have had to step out of my shell and read my poem in front of the congregation at St. Paul’s. I have helped Pastor Mark with bible stories for the kids for VBS which has changed how I look at myself. I am strong and God has made me a strong person. God is amazing.

I feel so overwhelmed. My dad is having heart problems and he may have to have open heart surgery. That scares me to death. I love my dad so much. I don’t want anything to happen to him. My is an alcoholic but has not had a drink in almost two years. Growing up my dad was not there for me. We lived together in the same house and all it was, was my dad working and coming home and drinking til he would pass out from drinking. There was a period for almost two years when my dad did not work he drank 8am til he passed out around 5pm. He would get up and do it all over again. My dad missed out on 7 years of my life. Now my dad is not drinking but now he has heart disease why probably because of drinking. My dad is in my life and now it seems like he is going to be taken away from me. I know that I am thinking the worse right now, but I have been home over the pass week and have seen my dad, call off work, and ask me to mow the grass. My dad has really slowed down. I pray that everything will be okay.

My cousin’s cancer is back again. She is only 34. I am really close to her.

I feel so alone right now. But I know I am not alone. I need someone to physically hold me right now and tell me that it is going to be okay. I know that I am strong with Christ, but emotionally right now I don’t know how much more I can take.

My one friend needs me right now but I don’t know if I can be there for her right now even though her great grandma passed away I just can’t give anymore I need and I hate that more then anything in the world.

elizabeth1979

((Renee))
Hi hon, sorry this is happening.
I will always have a special place in my cyber heart for you You are so stong and so wise.
I know it hurts me when I want to give to others but I emotionally or physically can't. I have to take care of myself first and I know it, but its still hard.


I cant tell you not to worry, but I will tell you from lots of personal and recent medical issues, that worry doesnt help you feel better and wont make your dad well.

Im so glad to hear you are getting strength at church, ya know theres a scripture that tells us we should not worry about tomorrow (matthew 6:34) which has helped me in recent days.

Hon, Im sorry you are hurting and your concern and stress is legitmate. I wish I could make you feel better, but know Im thinking good thoughts and will have you and your family in my thoughts.

FormerDoormat

Keeping you and your dad and your cousin in my prayers, Renee.

denny57

Sending you love, Renee. Make sure you give to yourself, too. ((()))

renee18

Thanks everyone. I am trying to sleep but can't yet. I am just so sad.

Tomorrow will be better

hopeangel

hi renee, i'm so sorry to hear all you are going through.

i am sending up healing prayers for your dad, your cousin, your friend, and you!!!

remember, you won't be able to help any of these people unless you take care of yourself hon.

Grasshopper

Why Lord is it that during my most troublesome times in my life that i see only one set of footprints in the sand?
My precious child,it was then that I carried you,
My prayers are with you and your family,

ICU

(((Renee))) Keeping you and your loved ones in my thoughts and prayers.

Rella927

Renee

So sorry you are going through this! Sending prayers to all of you-try not to forget you! Hang in there

renee18

Thank you all for the replies. Today is a little bit better for me anyways. God is my strength and my foundation thanks for all the prayers. They are very needed

parentrecovers

hugs and prayers, k

(i like your santa pic)

Barbara52

You have my prayers too {hugs}

renee18

Thanks everyone. My dad goes for a stress test tomorrow morning. I appreciate all your prayers. I appreciate all your thoughts as well. They are all uplifting to me and give me more hope. I will let you all know something when I do.


love you all

renee18

My dad passed his stress test tis morning which is a good sign. The dr. said my dad may of had a heat stroke and if it is left untreated it can take a while to recover from. My dad is going to a new heart dr. on Friday to get a second opinion which I think is a very good idea. Chest pains mean something it going on there.

Thanks for the support and prayers. I appreciate them very much