panic attack
krhea75
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
panic attack
Hey guys,
I've been doing okay with my decision to send my AS to the recovery house, until today. I started thinking about how far away from home he will be (4 hours) and I won't be able to see him and he's only 17. What if he gets homesick? What if he feels alone? What if he gets suicidal? All the what ifs are attacking me. Help with words of wisdom.
krhea
I've been doing okay with my decision to send my AS to the recovery house, until today. I started thinking about how far away from home he will be (4 hours) and I won't be able to see him and he's only 17. What if he gets homesick? What if he feels alone? What if he gets suicidal? All the what ifs are attacking me. Help with words of wisdom.
krhea
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
What if you let him come home and he resumes his drug use? What then? What if he never learns how to cope and continues drugs and dies?? Those are the what if's to think about. You are not sending him away for punishment, he is going to learn to live a safe lifestyle, away from the friends, past, and triggers!
Be glad you are makin the right choice. I didn't and have learned the hard way!
Blessings,
susan
Be glad you are makin the right choice. I didn't and have learned the hard way!
Blessings,
susan
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
Khrea,
Four hours away is not as far as it sounds. It could be worse... at least he's not so far away that he couldn't be home, or you couldn't be up there, by the day's end if you had to. And you're right, he's only 17, but think about the fact that he needs to be learning skills that he would be much less motivated to learn at home, such as holding a job, sticking to a schedule when your day is not mandated by bells, ect. These are things that he will learn there. I'm sure he'll make friends while there... and that is supposed to be a great recovery tool. Recovering addicts are supposed to cling to each other for support, from what ras tells me, key word "recovering," of course.
As far as the suicidal feelings go, I bet things will clear up on that end once he is working, becoming a little more independent, and makes friends... but you could always get his therapist to give him a list of options for ways to handle those feelings if they do arise.
I know this is hard, but just remember that you could not protect him from any of the what-if's you mentioned, even if he lived at home... so it is really for the better that he learn to spread his wings and fly now, while he's young enough to still have a decent chance in life.
*hugs and prayers*
Four hours away is not as far as it sounds. It could be worse... at least he's not so far away that he couldn't be home, or you couldn't be up there, by the day's end if you had to. And you're right, he's only 17, but think about the fact that he needs to be learning skills that he would be much less motivated to learn at home, such as holding a job, sticking to a schedule when your day is not mandated by bells, ect. These are things that he will learn there. I'm sure he'll make friends while there... and that is supposed to be a great recovery tool. Recovering addicts are supposed to cling to each other for support, from what ras tells me, key word "recovering," of course.
As far as the suicidal feelings go, I bet things will clear up on that end once he is working, becoming a little more independent, and makes friends... but you could always get his therapist to give him a list of options for ways to handle those feelings if they do arise.
I know this is hard, but just remember that you could not protect him from any of the what-if's you mentioned, even if he lived at home... so it is really for the better that he learn to spread his wings and fly now, while he's young enough to still have a decent chance in life.
*hugs and prayers*
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I have not seen my daughter for 5 months and yet she is less than an hour away. She is 21 and can choose when and if she wants contact. You still have some control, when he is 18 you won't. Better to do the tough stuff now and maybe when he is 21 you will have a good relationship, one free from drugs. Hugs, Marle
Survivor
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 149
You are doing the right thing......The "what if's" should he continue on the path he was taking are much worse than the "what if's" of being in treatment......He is young and that makes it really hard, just remember the younger they are the better chance they have for recovery.......there are many of us on here that wish our children had gotten treatment at that age.......
Peace and
Peace and
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
I wish I could go back in time and "do" things differently concerning my as.
You are doing the right thing. Once he's 18 you won't be able to.
Stick to your guns. This is better for him than you think it is.
Mama hugs,
Linda
You are doing the right thing. Once he's 18 you won't be able to.
Stick to your guns. This is better for him than you think it is.
Mama hugs,
Linda
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
krhea,
I wish I could go back in time and do things different with my daughter. Trust me, you won't be sorry for giving him every opportunity to improve his life. You will only be sorry if you don't. I know none of these treatments come with a guarantee, but you sure as heck don't have anything to lose.
Take care..............Lo
I wish I could go back in time and do things different with my daughter. Trust me, you won't be sorry for giving him every opportunity to improve his life. You will only be sorry if you don't. I know none of these treatments come with a guarantee, but you sure as heck don't have anything to lose.
Take care..............Lo
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
(((krhea)))
Boy do I know the committee in the head thing. Mine's been quite active lately too.
But backing off and having him take care of business, although hard, is the most loving thing you could do for that boy.
The feelings you mention would be quite normal under the circumstances, and they are feelings, not things, and not reality or events. They know how to handle it, they've seen it before.
Those are the feelings I didn't know how to handle, so I'm afraid I just made matters worse with my son at home.
And you know what? Thinking these things are how we move through them and on to a better place, both our loved ones and us.
Hang in there hon
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Boy do I know the committee in the head thing. Mine's been quite active lately too.
But backing off and having him take care of business, although hard, is the most loving thing you could do for that boy.
The feelings you mention would be quite normal under the circumstances, and they are feelings, not things, and not reality or events. They know how to handle it, they've seen it before.
Those are the feelings I didn't know how to handle, so I'm afraid I just made matters worse with my son at home.
And you know what? Thinking these things are how we move through them and on to a better place, both our loved ones and us.
Hang in there hon
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
