My name is Angela and Im a Alcoholic...
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
My name is Angela and Im a Alcoholic...
Ive said it and I need to say it daily dont I!? Ok Im feeling sorry for myself at the moment and as I said to Jules maybe I like being miserable as Im familar with that emotion?? Next week I will be seeing a threapist and a cads councilour ( community and alcohol and drugs service) so yup Im a alcoholic and I have to accept it or I wont get ahead I have to accept that try as I want to think that maybe one day I wil be able to stop at one or two wines it will never happen and to get myself better know that I cant drink one drop of alcohol at all.
Ang
Ang
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Ang-what I'm finding is-being sober is such new territory.So yes-I can understand how the familiarity of depression is a strange comfort.I'm reminded though of something a counsellor once said to me-'The defences that used to protect you as a child are now hurting you-you don't need them anymore'.
But it's really hard to drop them-I know.
Try not to think too far ahead right now.Today?You're doing ok.You're scared and sad-but-you're also reaching out.I'm so glad you let me call you today.I loved talking with you.I am so behind you in this and I don't want to see you go back there either.I'll be here,
Love, Jules xox
But it's really hard to drop them-I know.
Try not to think too far ahead right now.Today?You're doing ok.You're scared and sad-but-you're also reaching out.I'm so glad you let me call you today.I loved talking with you.I am so behind you in this and I don't want to see you go back there either.I'll be here,
Love, Jules xox
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: tennessee
Posts: 592
Hello angie,
In the early stages everyone hopes they might be able to drink agin.well I wanted to thnik that but it was not so for me I tried it agin.One thing about being sober if you dont like it you can go right back to your old ways and it dont take long.For me it was like I never quit and I had a few years.
In the early stages everyone hopes they might be able to drink agin.well I wanted to thnik that but it was not so for me I tried it agin.One thing about being sober if you dont like it you can go right back to your old ways and it dont take long.For me it was like I never quit and I had a few years.
One Day Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,316
Ang I can so identify with dealing with depression and with my various addictions for so long it becomes comfortable to feel bad...same thing happened to me...
but it is possible to change. Go see the counsellor. And yep...admitting that horrible awful A word is the first step to beating this thing. I'm finding it almost a badge of pride these days not to drink
It is possible to get over that 'not normal thing'.
D
but it is possible to change. Go see the counsellor. And yep...admitting that horrible awful A word is the first step to beating this thing. I'm finding it almost a badge of pride these days not to drink
It is possible to get over that 'not normal thing'.D
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Hi Ang,
Acceptance of your alcoholism is a bit step forward.
Actually, I do believe that I felt more comfortable with feeling bad and failing at things than I did at succeeding. That scared me because it was uncharted territory. So, I'd stop drinking and starting thinking positively, become anxious and then sabotage myself so I was back to messing up again. It's okay to feel good and to have a good life.
Acceptance of your alcoholism is a bit step forward.
Actually, I do believe that I felt more comfortable with feeling bad and failing at things than I did at succeeding. That scared me because it was uncharted territory. So, I'd stop drinking and starting thinking positively, become anxious and then sabotage myself so I was back to messing up again. It's okay to feel good and to have a good life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
tell me about it.. the hangovers the weight gain , letting your children down, spending money on booze that you can afford the guilt the anger the fear Oh I so want to get away. No headache just ahorrible stomach ache at the moment ( poor liver)!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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One thing about being sober if you dont like it you can go right back to your old ways and it dont take long.For me it was like I never quit and I had a few years.
D
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
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lol yup now how am I gonna explain to hubby that we needed a birdcage a $72 birdcage at that lol I see that Im also leading bidder on a toy pedal car for $120 *sigh* (its cute tho)
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
so yup Im a alcoholic and I have to accept it or I wont get ahead I have to accept that try as I want to think that maybe one day I wil be able to stop at one or two wines it will never happen and to get myself better know that I cant drink one drop of alcohol at all.
Ang
Ang
For today, I'm going to try to make the best of a bad situation, and find something for which to be grateful...I know there must be something...I'll get back to you on that.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: tennessee
Posts: 592
Maybe I worded my first post wrong[it made perfect sense to me but I'm still sick]
I get so far in recovery and my mind tells me I can do this on my own and then it tells me I'm well and then I get back to old ways and I get drunk and it is the same hell as it was before.Alcohol is always there waiting on me cunning ,baffling, powerful and patient.I would never suggest it's better out there than sober but it is there waiting on me.Sorry if I offended anyone.
I get so far in recovery and my mind tells me I can do this on my own and then it tells me I'm well and then I get back to old ways and I get drunk and it is the same hell as it was before.Alcohol is always there waiting on me cunning ,baffling, powerful and patient.I would never suggest it's better out there than sober but it is there waiting on me.Sorry if I offended anyone.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
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Originally Posted by angie9 
lol yup now how am I gonna explain to hubby that we needed a birdcage a $72 birdcage at that lol I see that Im also leading bidder on a toy pedal car for $120 *sigh* (its cute tho)
. Do you at least have a bird for the cage? I've drunk shopped online in the past... it can really add up.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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hey jules good thanks :0)
making some biscuits for the kids then later on tonight going over papatoetoe to get my birdcage.Feel quite calm in myself which Im greatful. I hope your having a good day too. I was going to pm you and Dee later on not much to say just "hi" and how I was feeling
Ang
making some biscuits for the kids then later on tonight going over papatoetoe to get my birdcage.Feel quite calm in myself which Im greatful. I hope your having a good day too. I was going to pm you and Dee later on not much to say just "hi" and how I was feeling
Ang
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