guineapigjude

I have a favor to ask all of you. I’m going to post it on both the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers and Friends and Family of Alcoholics board, as I am both! Anyway…
In the few months since XAH left, my life has been chaos. Facing the reality of his addiction and my codependency, being honest with the kids about their dad ~ and dealing with their honesty (Nothing worse than dealing with the fact that I didn’t hide things from them as much as I liked to think…), moving out of our house and back with my parents, going back to school…. It’s been a wild ride.
Thanks to my HP, SR, a lot of reading, meetings, and family support, we’re doing okay. The kids are adjusting, and thankfully making their own conclusions about their Dad. I’m hanging in there.
One of the hardest things for me to do is deal with XAH. Because of the visitation with the kids, child support, and loose ends from the divorce (As in he has to give me the money for the mortgage til the house sells, and I get the money from the sale), I have to speak with him occasionally. After running through the gamut of emotions and over analyzing what to say when we speak , I’ve been doing a lot of praying on it. I know I need to deal with XAH as calmly and in as detached a way as possible, for my own well being. As much as I want to “tell him off” or make him see reason, I know that can’t work. I know I have to focus on what’s best for me.
Now to the favor. I’ve decided that, before I know I’m going to have to speak to him, I need to start by saying the Serenity Prayer, and by reminding myself that I’m not alone ~ my HP is standing right beside me. I’d also like to bring all you wise and wonderful people with me! So, if you could please share any prayers, thoughts, mantras, whatevers you have that I could print out and read through when I feel that twisted pit of the stomach OMG I have to deal with HIM feeling. What sorts of things do you/did you say to yourself to get yourself focused an able to deal with your A’s in a calm, detached, healthy manner?
Thanks ~You guys rock!!

ladyjane

Calm My Spirit

Father,

I have been experiencing an extremely stressful time in my Life. I find myself in a melodramatic and over-exaggerated display of emotions.
Sometimes I say too much and other times I do not say enough. I do have Faith in You and Your Divine Guidance and I have no idea why I choose to continue to react in such a sensational reactive manner. I suppose it is because I feel afraid, alone and I don't know what to do. I know You are with me Father and I consciously choose to embrace a higher state of awareness that includes You. I AM listening Father. I AM listening for You to tell me the next step to take.

Father, I ask You to increase my Faith, discipline and resolve, so that when I encounter difficult circumstances, my spirit is calmed. I AM certain that You have my best interests under Your Divine Control, Influence, Power and Love.

I am knocking, I am seeking. I am asking You to help me. Through Jesus Christ's Precious Blood and Most Holy Face I ask You to release me from this stressful situation.

Amen
___________________
Trish

sunshine321

Let Go and Let God (over and over)

Jenny

Pick-a-name

Short and sweet.......... LGLG--this is what I try to do.

"God, please help me!" is also my usual. It always "works". Good luck.

ARealLady

I know the "knots in the stomach" feeling from meetings with lawyers when my estranged husband and I were working out settlements. Keeping some kind of object close at hand in my pocket helped. It could be any small object (for me it was a little stone) which you give your POWER to. I found that touching the stone helped me to stay focussed on the business when I started feeling all the emotions working their way back in.

Thinking of you, guinea!

ARL

denny57

"This, too, shall pass."

And I do the one where I picture him in a hospital gown.

Rella927

I have a few that I like to keep in my mind!

I learned and still learning not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people

lionessa

Just for Today...My thoughts will be...For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power. and of love, and of a sound mind.2 Timothy1:7 Be of good courage.and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.Psalms31:24 I can do all thungs through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13 Lord, May I see others through your eyes...With Love may i see the true inner beauty of their being...May I be kind and forgiving,even as you have forgiven me through Christ

guineapigjude

Thanks so much everyone! I’ve printed out all your words of wisdom and put them in my journal . When I feel the stomach knotting thing or know I’m going to have to talk to XAH, I’ll read through them all and bring you all with me.
Even though we’ve never met face to face, I consider you all to be among the best friends I’ve ever been privileged to have. You’ve helped me more than you could ever know, today and many other days when I might have given up without your support. I hope someday to be able to help others the way you’ve helped me, to pay it back and honor you. Bless you all!

Barbara52

Lord, let my words be what I need to say and what he needs to hear. Help me to let your words become mine. Let me feel your peace and comfort. Help me to hear you and follow where you are leading me.