The other shoe
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 178
The other shoe
AH came home drunk only one night last night but it looks like this week is going to be a long one. This is night two and I'm tired and dread when he comes home.
(Not that him being home sober isn't oppressive enough, me being aware that twisted thinking is still lurking inside his mind.)
This morning before leaving for work he brought up again about meeting with the lawyer and decided for both of us to file bankruptcy. He is the decider!
What I didn't know before is that the credit card debt is over 100K. I asked if he and the lawyer discussed alternatives and he lost it. (I want the properties sold but he won't hear it) He totally lost it and I dropped the subject. There isn't much for me to say because there is no way I can deal with that debt load even if I wanted to. He refuses to sell because the debt is higher than potential profit from a sale. (It is true that the market is bad now.)
He went to the bank and closed our joint checking account that we've had for years. (I'm kinda happy about that because I wasn't sure how I was going to get him to do that if I asked because I don't want to ever share another account with him) and he said he cut up all his credit cards. He says he's going to have the phone turned off to avoid creditor calls until this all goes through. All he has left at that bank is his business account. (his new handyman business account is mostly responsible for all this debt. He used our personal accounts to charge tools, materials etc.)
He handed me the mortgage money and kinda expected to start working out of my personal checking account and asked me to make a deposit and write him a check. I told him I couldn't do that because I have to be to work before they open and they're closed before I get home. Then he asked if I'd give him a deposit slip and a check and he'd do it.
I said no. He's going to have to open up his own checking account or get a money order. He wasn't happy about not being able to weasle into my account. Maybe now I'm being punished with the drinking binge. Who cares.
I'm feeling resentful but mostly numb. I've been so frugal with my accounts. Mostly used them when I knew I could pay them back within the month and did without what I couldn't afford and had a good credit rating. Talk about loss and pain. Now my credit is getting dragged down the tubes and it will be really hard for me to buy a car later on. I don't have any money to even think about talking to a lawyer.
He's convinced all his financial problems and our marital problems will all be over once the responsibility for the debt is gone. He thinks the house can be saved and sell it down the road when the market is better hoping for a hefty profit blah blah blah.
At least one account with both of us on it is closed. I just keep saying One step at a time, let go and let God.
(Not that him being home sober isn't oppressive enough, me being aware that twisted thinking is still lurking inside his mind.)
This morning before leaving for work he brought up again about meeting with the lawyer and decided for both of us to file bankruptcy. He is the decider!
What I didn't know before is that the credit card debt is over 100K. I asked if he and the lawyer discussed alternatives and he lost it. (I want the properties sold but he won't hear it) He totally lost it and I dropped the subject. There isn't much for me to say because there is no way I can deal with that debt load even if I wanted to. He refuses to sell because the debt is higher than potential profit from a sale. (It is true that the market is bad now.)
He went to the bank and closed our joint checking account that we've had for years. (I'm kinda happy about that because I wasn't sure how I was going to get him to do that if I asked because I don't want to ever share another account with him) and he said he cut up all his credit cards. He says he's going to have the phone turned off to avoid creditor calls until this all goes through. All he has left at that bank is his business account. (his new handyman business account is mostly responsible for all this debt. He used our personal accounts to charge tools, materials etc.)
He handed me the mortgage money and kinda expected to start working out of my personal checking account and asked me to make a deposit and write him a check. I told him I couldn't do that because I have to be to work before they open and they're closed before I get home. Then he asked if I'd give him a deposit slip and a check and he'd do it.
I said no. He's going to have to open up his own checking account or get a money order. He wasn't happy about not being able to weasle into my account. Maybe now I'm being punished with the drinking binge. Who cares.
I'm feeling resentful but mostly numb. I've been so frugal with my accounts. Mostly used them when I knew I could pay them back within the month and did without what I couldn't afford and had a good credit rating. Talk about loss and pain. Now my credit is getting dragged down the tubes and it will be really hard for me to buy a car later on. I don't have any money to even think about talking to a lawyer.
He's convinced all his financial problems and our marital problems will all be over once the responsibility for the debt is gone. He thinks the house can be saved and sell it down the road when the market is better hoping for a hefty profit blah blah blah.
At least one account with both of us on it is closed. I just keep saying One step at a time, let go and let God.
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
Originally Posted by Lady BlueMiles 
He's convinced all his financial problems and our marital problems will all be over once the responsibility for the debt is gone. He thinks the house can be saved and sell it down the road when the market is better hoping for a hefty profit blah blah blah.
Mine was convinced our issues revolved around finances as well...in part yes, he squandered.
My last electric bill was 50 bucks. This was with A/c blasting, fans circling, leaving the TV on for the dog, because now that his hearing is going, he needs the picture too! I still don't know what he was doing that got the bill up to $170 a year ago.
He tried to use finances as emotional leverage to keep him around. He was convinced that i'd fold financially without him. Heh - I'm soaring now.
Sorry you're going through this (((Lady))). Sounds like you're strong and you'll do what's good for you. You sound very self-reliant.
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