Continueing Drama
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: LAND OF HOPE
Posts: 51
Continueing Drama
Hey Guys
So Just Like I Expected My Ex Has Tried To Come Crawling Back To Me He Called Me Ofcourse From A Number I Dont Know And Siad That He Made The Biggest Mistake When He Left Me. Now He Is Trying To Get Back On His Feet And Straighten Out His Life So He Can Be With Me. Now The Thing I Dont Get Is That He Keeps Saying That He Wants To Be With Me But He Is Still With That Other Girl. He Is Such An Idiot. So Keeps Calling And Trying To Convince Me To Give Him Another Chance But I Know I Shouldnt. My Biggest Fear Right Now Is That He Is Going To Call Me On One Of The Days When Im Really Down And Depressed And Im Going To Cave In And Take Him Back. I Know I Cant. I Wont I Refuse To Let Him Back Into My Life So He Can Lie And Cheat On Me Again. I Refuse To Let Him Come Near My Child To Give Him A Bad Example.
The Truth Is I Unfortunatly Still Have Feelings For Him. But I Dont Want To Be With Him If That Makes Any Sense. Im Feeling Really Weak Everytime That I Have Talked To Him Lately And Im Try To Keep My Thoughts Straight But Its Really Hard To Do Knowing That Im Going To Be Carrying A Part Of Him With Me Every Day For The Rest Of My Life. I Guess I Just Want Him To Clean Himself Up And Move On With His Life So He Can Finally Leave Me Alone. I Dont Think He Will Ever Just Stay Away From Me And Out Of My Life. And If I Ever Do Get Into Another Relationship I Know That He Is Going To Try To Ruin It Because He Told Me He Couldnt Stand The Thought Of Me Being With Someone Else.
Sorry Guys But Men Are So Rediculous Sometimes(sorry To All The Good Guys Out There)
Is It So D### Hard To Leave Me Alone?
(just Venting Today I Really Dont Feel Good And Im Frustrated And Angry And Confused I Think Im Just Having A Bad Day!
)
So Just Like I Expected My Ex Has Tried To Come Crawling Back To Me He Called Me Ofcourse From A Number I Dont Know And Siad That He Made The Biggest Mistake When He Left Me. Now He Is Trying To Get Back On His Feet And Straighten Out His Life So He Can Be With Me. Now The Thing I Dont Get Is That He Keeps Saying That He Wants To Be With Me But He Is Still With That Other Girl. He Is Such An Idiot. So Keeps Calling And Trying To Convince Me To Give Him Another Chance But I Know I Shouldnt. My Biggest Fear Right Now Is That He Is Going To Call Me On One Of The Days When Im Really Down And Depressed And Im Going To Cave In And Take Him Back. I Know I Cant. I Wont I Refuse To Let Him Back Into My Life So He Can Lie And Cheat On Me Again. I Refuse To Let Him Come Near My Child To Give Him A Bad Example.
The Truth Is I Unfortunatly Still Have Feelings For Him. But I Dont Want To Be With Him If That Makes Any Sense. Im Feeling Really Weak Everytime That I Have Talked To Him Lately And Im Try To Keep My Thoughts Straight But Its Really Hard To Do Knowing That Im Going To Be Carrying A Part Of Him With Me Every Day For The Rest Of My Life. I Guess I Just Want Him To Clean Himself Up And Move On With His Life So He Can Finally Leave Me Alone. I Dont Think He Will Ever Just Stay Away From Me And Out Of My Life. And If I Ever Do Get Into Another Relationship I Know That He Is Going To Try To Ruin It Because He Told Me He Couldnt Stand The Thought Of Me Being With Someone Else.
Sorry Guys But Men Are So Rediculous Sometimes(sorry To All The Good Guys Out There)
Is It So D### Hard To Leave Me Alone?
(just Venting Today I Really Dont Feel Good And Im Frustrated And Angry And Confused I Think Im Just Having A Bad Day!
)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
it is your choice if you want him back or not. it is your choice to have any kind of relationship with him.it is your choice to answer his calls or not.it is hard to let go of someone you love & care about but it can be done if you want to. let go & let God with pratice, pratice,pratice. it gets easire & easier with time & your recovery.prayers, hope
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
nmt,
Maybe right now you shouldn't answer the phone if you don't know the number, this way you don't take the chance of talking to him. Don't you have a RO out on him? If you do he is breaking it and you can call the police and tell them. You need to take care of yourself and your unborn child right now. Please take care of the two of you, and don't let him stress you out that is not good for either of you.
It is hard to let go of someone you love, no matter if they are an addict or not.
Keeping you in my prayers
Hugs coming to you
Maybe right now you shouldn't answer the phone if you don't know the number, this way you don't take the chance of talking to him. Don't you have a RO out on him? If you do he is breaking it and you can call the police and tell them. You need to take care of yourself and your unborn child right now. Please take care of the two of you, and don't let him stress you out that is not good for either of you.
It is hard to let go of someone you love, no matter if they are an addict or not.
Keeping you in my prayers
Hugs coming to you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
*hugs*
quote: "God never closes a door without opening a window"
Straight from your own signature... so, if that door is closed, (if you know in your heart it is) look for your window of escape
Keep praying about it... God will come through. Kinda funny... I'm just beginning to relearn that even when I cannot see him, if i look back at the end of the day, it is obvious that he was there the whole time. Maybe he's showing you your window, and you're too upset to see at the moment?
Either way, pray about it and you will know what you need to do, whatever it may be.
quote: "God never closes a door without opening a window"
Straight from your own signature... so, if that door is closed, (if you know in your heart it is) look for your window of escape
Keep praying about it... God will come through. Kinda funny... I'm just beginning to relearn that even when I cannot see him, if i look back at the end of the day, it is obvious that he was there the whole time. Maybe he's showing you your window, and you're too upset to see at the moment? Either way, pray about it and you will know what you need to do, whatever it may be.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 52
I have the same fear. On my bad days, I have caved and let him stay because "he had nowhere else to go". I should have recommended that he spend the night at whatever girl he was currently sleeping with. I am working on an actual written plan. Instructions for my weak self from my strong self. I will follow my own rational advice when I am emotional. A safety net is important. Maybe instructions might be just "call _____". If there is a sponsor or someone you truly can depend on. Just some thoughts....
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Hi sweetie, I know it is really hard especially since you have feelings for him. You are a loving person and it's okay to love him even though you don't want him in your life.
Maybe you can print out your post to remind yourself of all the reasons you don't want to have that weak moment and let him back in. Each day without contact should make things easier.
Is there a reason that you have to take his calls? If not, how about just not picking up the phone? For me, no was something I had to work on...I'm still not the best at saying no or thinking about my needs first, so sometimes for me, avoiding a situation where i may give in is helpful until I grow stronger in that ability. Hugs...hang in there and if you feel weakened, come here...we'll tell you all the reasons you shouldn't give in, if that is what you would like to hear!
Maybe you can print out your post to remind yourself of all the reasons you don't want to have that weak moment and let him back in. Each day without contact should make things easier.
Is there a reason that you have to take his calls? If not, how about just not picking up the phone? For me, no was something I had to work on...I'm still not the best at saying no or thinking about my needs first, so sometimes for me, avoiding a situation where i may give in is helpful until I grow stronger in that ability. Hugs...hang in there and if you feel weakened, come here...we'll tell you all the reasons you shouldn't give in, if that is what you would like to hear!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 333
I could say alot but i will not. don't answer the phone...he is a creep and you know this to be true. As long as your talking on the phone visiting he knows there is a chance to get you back...he knows how to push your buttons...No contact if you want no contact.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
It just seems like these addicts are so predictable! They always seem to try and come back. So he is trying to get back with you and at the same time he is with someone else? That is familiar to me. Mine tried the same thing.
If he was really serious about trying to be a good man for you, he would not be with someone else right now! He is trying to cover his azz and keep his options open.
You say you are feeling weak when he calls-that is exactly how I was feeling, too. That is just our sick side. Don't listen to the sick part of yourself. you know if you see him or talk to him, it will do no good and only hold you back.
When i first came here I was separated from my addict and he had been calling and I was tempted to see him again. I found that the only way to move on was to stop answering the phone. That was months ago. He STILL calls even though I don't answer. I went to '3GFORFREE.com' and downloaded a free silent ringer for my phone. I atached the silent ringer to his work # and to private#. This was the best thing for me. I didn't want to change my number. Now I don't even have to hear it when he calls.
Don't answer the phone. Change your # if you have to. This just makes it so much easier to let go.
If he was really serious about trying to be a good man for you, he would not be with someone else right now! He is trying to cover his azz and keep his options open.
You say you are feeling weak when he calls-that is exactly how I was feeling, too. That is just our sick side. Don't listen to the sick part of yourself. you know if you see him or talk to him, it will do no good and only hold you back.
When i first came here I was separated from my addict and he had been calling and I was tempted to see him again. I found that the only way to move on was to stop answering the phone. That was months ago. He STILL calls even though I don't answer. I went to '3GFORFREE.com' and downloaded a free silent ringer for my phone. I atached the silent ringer to his work # and to private#. This was the best thing for me. I didn't want to change my number. Now I don't even have to hear it when he calls.
Don't answer the phone. Change your # if you have to. This just makes it so much easier to let go.
FINALLY FREE
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: LAND OF HOPE
Posts: 51
Hey Guys I Have No Choice But Answer His Calls. When He Calls My Cell # I Dont Answer Ever Especially If I Dont Know The #. But His Dome A** Calls My Work Number That Is Being Forwarded To My Home # Since I Have Been Working From Home. So I Have No Chice But Answer His Calls. I Do Have A Ro Against Him But Can You Believe That When He Called My Work Last Night From A # I Dont Know I Answered Thinking It Was From Work Then I Called The Cops To Use The Ro Against Him But They Couldnt Prove That It Was Him Calling Me From That # So They Couldnt Do Anything About . So Now I Feel Like There Is Nothing I Cando To Keep Him Away Becasuse The Ro I Got I Cant Even Use Because I Have To Prove It Was Him
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
NMT,
Get voicemail at home, if you don't already have it, and let all calls go to voicemail until this is over. This serves two purposes:
You don't have to talk to him, and
You have his voice on tape for the police.
You can return the work-related calls immediately. If that is objectionable to your workplace, then get another line for that purpose. If you don't yet have voicemail, it doesn't cost that much (ours is 6.95/month) and it's worth it ten times over. That helped me with a similar situation where my X became a freaky needy psycho stalker jerk.
Not that I have anything against him
Voicemail. Call your phone company right now.
This is what addicts do. As long as he can reach you, he will have hope that he can suck you back into his crazy world. Unless you WANT to be with an addict who sleeps with other women and then two-times THEM to get you back??? Didn't think so.
Love,
GL
Get voicemail at home, if you don't already have it, and let all calls go to voicemail until this is over. This serves two purposes:
You don't have to talk to him, and
You have his voice on tape for the police.
You can return the work-related calls immediately. If that is objectionable to your workplace, then get another line for that purpose. If you don't yet have voicemail, it doesn't cost that much (ours is 6.95/month) and it's worth it ten times over. That helped me with a similar situation where my X became a freaky needy psycho stalker jerk.
Not that I have anything against him
Voicemail. Call your phone company right now.
This is what addicts do. As long as he can reach you, he will have hope that he can suck you back into his crazy world. Unless you WANT to be with an addict who sleeps with other women and then two-times THEM to get you back??? Didn't think so.
Love,
GL
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