Language of Letting Go - August 4
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - August 4
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Vulnerability
I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am.
--Anonymous
Many of us feel that we can only show our strong, confident side. We believe the face we have to show to the world should always be one of politeness, perfection, calm, strength, and control.
While it is certainly good and often appropriate to be in control, calm, and strong, there is another side to all of us - that part of us that feels needy, becomes frightened, has doubts, and gets angry. That part of us that needs care, love, and reassurance those things will be okay. Expressing these needs makes us vulnerable and less than perfect, but this side needs our acceptance too.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us build lasting relationships. Sharing our vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people and helps others feel close to us. It helps us grow in self-love and self-acceptance. It helps us become healing agents. It allows us to become whole and accessible to others.
Today, I will allow myself to be vulnerable with others when it's safe and appropriate to do so.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Vulnerability
I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am.
--Anonymous
Many of us feel that we can only show our strong, confident side. We believe the face we have to show to the world should always be one of politeness, perfection, calm, strength, and control.
While it is certainly good and often appropriate to be in control, calm, and strong, there is another side to all of us - that part of us that feels needy, becomes frightened, has doubts, and gets angry. That part of us that needs care, love, and reassurance those things will be okay. Expressing these needs makes us vulnerable and less than perfect, but this side needs our acceptance too.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us build lasting relationships. Sharing our vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people and helps others feel close to us. It helps us grow in self-love and self-acceptance. It helps us become healing agents. It allows us to become whole and accessible to others.
Today, I will allow myself to be vulnerable with others when it's safe and appropriate to do so.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
Thanks Ann
I remember years ago when my daughters were very young and I talked to a therapist about the affect the divorce had on my girls. He told me that if I continued to act, as your post says, always calm, happy perfect . . that my daughters would think that 1) I must not feel sad, 2) it is not OK to show any negative emotions.
What I was doing was trying to shield them from the pain, but in reality I was causing them more harm. Of course little girls want to mimick their moms so I found out it was OK to be sad around them.
Anyway, your post brought back those memories of years ago when as a codie mom thinking I was doing the best thing, but was not.
Terri
I remember years ago when my daughters were very young and I talked to a therapist about the affect the divorce had on my girls. He told me that if I continued to act, as your post says, always calm, happy perfect . . that my daughters would think that 1) I must not feel sad, 2) it is not OK to show any negative emotions.
What I was doing was trying to shield them from the pain, but in reality I was causing them more harm. Of course little girls want to mimick their moms so I found out it was OK to be sad around them.
Anyway, your post brought back those memories of years ago when as a codie mom thinking I was doing the best thing, but was not.
Terri
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Terri, when we knew better, we did better. You did the best you could at the time.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is a new experience for most of us, but one that sets our souls free.
Hugs
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is a new experience for most of us, but one that sets our souls free.
Hugs
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