I believe I am ready
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I believe I am ready
I had the whole 10 days away to get back to reality and see that even though I have relapsed alot lately...I am capable of being clean. This job is helping me think more toward that.
I am so tired of being the emotional wreck I have been the past couple weeks.
I think I went over the edge. Too many xanax..And too much stress on top of trying and failing. That really took alot out of my confidence to make it.
But now I have a great new job that I know I will love.
I also stopped taking all that cymbalta and xanax the whole time I was gone and I wil tell you this.
I never felt so focused and happy and my mind just felt right.
I am done with all those meds. I think it makes my situation worse.
i AM IN A GREAT state of mind and ready to get it together.
i have a great oppurtunity here and very well may be my last chance.
I am sitting here all alone on my B day...with money and could get me a big supplly of smoke right now if I really wanted to.
But you know what..I dont even feel the need or urge.
I am happy as a fat cat sitting here listening to my tunes and just made myself the first homecooked meal I have had in over a week.
Garlic mashed red potatoes with skin on and teriyaki chicken breast grilled on the BBq.
I culdnt be more satified.
Catching up on all the past posted since I been gone.
I noticed too..When I was away..I was very upbeat and happy and nothing got me irritated. Not even rude people. I just laughed it off and kept cool. Now that there is a miracle.
I am so serious about this job. and it has boosted my determination to make it more than ever.
And my grams has been sick alot lately. I need to start preparing for whatever may come. So I know I can be a grown woman and deal with it like I should instead of self destructing.
I feel a whole new beginning for me.
Really ..I just feel it in my soul.
And if my new job is trusting me with safe combos and keys and having to count all the money a balance the books..deposits and such..Especially when they know about the last job.
Those are true friends that believe I will make it aND are willing to put their reps on the line to give me a chance.
I have so many people that care abotu me and just want nothing more than the best for me.
I need to snap out of it and realise what I have. I am very lucky to have that.
I have all of you too to be understanding and forgiving. Even tell me to check myself. And sometinmes I may get upset about that..But I know it is out of caring and support.
I love you guys for that.
Well enough out of me.... Thnak you every one of you!!!!
I am so tired of being the emotional wreck I have been the past couple weeks.
I think I went over the edge. Too many xanax..And too much stress on top of trying and failing. That really took alot out of my confidence to make it.
But now I have a great new job that I know I will love.
I also stopped taking all that cymbalta and xanax the whole time I was gone and I wil tell you this.
I never felt so focused and happy and my mind just felt right.
I am done with all those meds. I think it makes my situation worse.
i AM IN A GREAT state of mind and ready to get it together.
i have a great oppurtunity here and very well may be my last chance.
I am sitting here all alone on my B day...with money and could get me a big supplly of smoke right now if I really wanted to.
But you know what..I dont even feel the need or urge.
I am happy as a fat cat sitting here listening to my tunes and just made myself the first homecooked meal I have had in over a week.
Garlic mashed red potatoes with skin on and teriyaki chicken breast grilled on the BBq.
I culdnt be more satified.
Catching up on all the past posted since I been gone.
I noticed too..When I was away..I was very upbeat and happy and nothing got me irritated. Not even rude people. I just laughed it off and kept cool. Now that there is a miracle.
I am so serious about this job. and it has boosted my determination to make it more than ever.
And my grams has been sick alot lately. I need to start preparing for whatever may come. So I know I can be a grown woman and deal with it like I should instead of self destructing.
I feel a whole new beginning for me.
Really ..I just feel it in my soul.
And if my new job is trusting me with safe combos and keys and having to count all the money a balance the books..deposits and such..Especially when they know about the last job.
Those are true friends that believe I will make it aND are willing to put their reps on the line to give me a chance.
I have so many people that care abotu me and just want nothing more than the best for me.
I need to snap out of it and realise what I have. I am very lucky to have that.
I have all of you too to be understanding and forgiving. Even tell me to check myself. And sometinmes I may get upset about that..But I know it is out of caring and support.
I love you guys for that.
Well enough out of me.... Thnak you every one of you!!!!
. Dinner sounds lovely. Bookmark this post (well your initial one, not mine lol) would you? So you can read it again, and again? It's a positive thing to feel and read.
Congratulations 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Yup - you've been given another chance, hunny. Do everything you can to make the most of it.
We are here to gently guide you, if need be.
It's good to see you feeling peaceful and content - you deserve these things, Trish.
We are here to gently guide you, if need be.
It's good to see you feeling peaceful and content - you deserve these things, Trish.
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