Show me the way.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Lake Arrowhead, Ca
Posts: 8
Show me the way.....
To think that I am the only one feeling the way I do is a mere joke. I am a hard core drinker in excess of 15 beers a day and what ever else I can get my hands on. I am to the point where I fear stopping in as much as the withdrawal symptoms haunt me. I want to wean myself safey but, recognize that weaning is a joke. I do not want to go to the doctor due to the stigma and insurance issues. I want to stop. I am tired of the destruction I am causing in my life, family and physical well being. I fear seizures, D.T.'s etc. etc. but yurn for a way out. I spent three years in AA 10 years ago without a drop but convinced myself that one was O.K. I am a slave to the bottle, and desire help.....
I am barraged by feelings of guilt, hiding and failure in the eyes of my children, and spouse. I feel as though I am progressing soo extremely fast that the results maybe irreparable.
Please, although contrary to the twelve and twelve, some one show me a safe way to minimize prior to going back to AA (Which I really want to do) which will not subject me to heinous withdrawals.....
Please don't criticize me for this. I am fearful. I am not a glutton for punishment and do not want to suffer any more than I have to.
Thank you
I am barraged by feelings of guilt, hiding and failure in the eyes of my children, and spouse. I feel as though I am progressing soo extremely fast that the results maybe irreparable.
Please, although contrary to the twelve and twelve, some one show me a safe way to minimize prior to going back to AA (Which I really want to do) which will not subject me to heinous withdrawals.....
Please don't criticize me for this. I am fearful. I am not a glutton for punishment and do not want to suffer any more than I have to.
Thank you
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hi Spunhuny,
although I do know a good many people who underwent detox/withdrawal under medical supervision and recieved help that way, I don't know of any way to minimize withdrawal outside of professional medical help. I would have used it myself.
Others may have more helpful advice - I'll just say welcome !
D
although I do know a good many people who underwent detox/withdrawal under medical supervision and recieved help that way, I don't know of any way to minimize withdrawal outside of professional medical help. I would have used it myself.
Others may have more helpful advice - I'll just say welcome !
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: tennessee
Posts: 592
spunhuny
no one here will critize you.I applude you.I was in same boat you are three weeks ago.Had few years in the program went back out it was hell.All trust I had my respect gone.I went cold turkey off hydro's and alcohol spent my last four days out there in a blackout.We will support you in your every step to sobrity.People here are kind and have guinuine concern.I know you are hurting now but try to call someone in AA.best thing Ive done.I was welcomed back with open arms as Im sure you would be.
no one here will critize you.I applude you.I was in same boat you are three weeks ago.Had few years in the program went back out it was hell.All trust I had my respect gone.I went cold turkey off hydro's and alcohol spent my last four days out there in a blackout.We will support you in your every step to sobrity.People here are kind and have guinuine concern.I know you are hurting now but try to call someone in AA.best thing Ive done.I was welcomed back with open arms as Im sure you would be.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Reidsville, NC
Posts: 6
I know that fear very well! I have been so scared for so long now. Don't give up. I am only on my 10th day of being clean, but I'm not going to give up either. I will pray for you as much as i'm praying for myself!
havefaith
havefaith
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Medical de-tox sounds like your best bet. Followed AT ONCE by IOP and/or AA.
It sux where you are, I've been there. I actually did the withdraw thing at home, which is dangerous and not recomended.
It sux where you are, I've been there. I actually did the withdraw thing at home, which is dangerous and not recomended.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,044
Originally Posted by spunhuny 
. I spent three years in AA 10 years ago without a drop but convinced myself that one was O.K. I am a slave to the bottle, and desire help.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: los angeles, CA
Posts: 65
Hey Spun, glad you are here seeking help.
Contrary to popular belief on this board I have managed to ween myself off of alcohol so that I wouldn't get withdrawls. I wasn't drinking as much as you are everyday but was easily having between 4 and 10 per night and significantly more on weekends.
I recently managed to ween myself off by allowing myself a certain number of drinks per night and gradually tappering that amount till it was down to zero. I'm currently at zero and had little withdrawl symptoms. I'm not one to say that I could have just stopped cold turkey and had the same experience but I do belive that I would have had some more prominent withdrawl syptoms if I had done it that way.
I truely understand why people are opposed to the tappering idea and I think it's because you will probably start feeling better and before you know it you'll be back to your old habits. I belive however, that if you have decided once and for all that you WILL stop drinking that you can tapper so you don't get DT's. After all, that is what doctors do with some medicines rather than take you off cold turkey right??
Bottom line, if you have access to a doctor, that is your best bet so you do't put yourself in any danger. I'm sure you know fully well by now that Alcohol withdrawl can kill you.
So please take my own personal experience with a grain of salt, I'm no doctor and only a doctor can help you safely get through the withdrawl.
Good luck
Contrary to popular belief on this board I have managed to ween myself off of alcohol so that I wouldn't get withdrawls. I wasn't drinking as much as you are everyday but was easily having between 4 and 10 per night and significantly more on weekends.
I recently managed to ween myself off by allowing myself a certain number of drinks per night and gradually tappering that amount till it was down to zero. I'm currently at zero and had little withdrawl symptoms. I'm not one to say that I could have just stopped cold turkey and had the same experience but I do belive that I would have had some more prominent withdrawl syptoms if I had done it that way.
I truely understand why people are opposed to the tappering idea and I think it's because you will probably start feeling better and before you know it you'll be back to your old habits. I belive however, that if you have decided once and for all that you WILL stop drinking that you can tapper so you don't get DT's. After all, that is what doctors do with some medicines rather than take you off cold turkey right??
Bottom line, if you have access to a doctor, that is your best bet so you do't put yourself in any danger. I'm sure you know fully well by now that Alcohol withdrawl can kill you.
So please take my own personal experience with a grain of salt, I'm no doctor and only a doctor can help you safely get through the withdrawl.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
I have weened myself to reduce (but not eliminate) W/D symptoms. This was about 4 years ago. Of course I went back out, got drunker than ever, then stopped cold turkey with severe W/D symptoms.
So I agree with Macphisto, it can be done. In fact "wet nursing" as they call it, was common in the early days of AA. Read all about it in "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers"
So I agree with Macphisto, it can be done. In fact "wet nursing" as they call it, was common in the early days of AA. Read all about it in "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers"
trying to get it..
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by baggervance
spunhuny
no one here will critize you.I applude you.I was in same boat you are three weeks ago.Had few years in the program went back out it was hell.All trust I had my respect gone.I went cold turkey off hydro's and alcohol spent my last four days out there in a blackout.We will support you in your every step to sobrity.People here are kind and have guinuine concern.I know you are hurting now but try to call someone in AA.best thing Ive done.I was welcomed back with open arms as Im sure you would be.
no one here will critize you.I applude you.I was in same boat you are three weeks ago.Had few years in the program went back out it was hell.All trust I had my respect gone.I went cold turkey off hydro's and alcohol spent my last four days out there in a blackout.We will support you in your every step to sobrity.People here are kind and have guinuine concern.I know you are hurting now but try to call someone in AA.best thing Ive done.I was welcomed back with open arms as Im sure you would be.
ditto....ditto...ditto.....no one is perfect..thats why we are here..go back....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: spokane, wa
Posts: 83
(((Spun)))
I know what you are going through. I am a hard core beer drinker as well. I have been drinking for 30 years and have only stopped once for 2 years and also during my 2 pregnancies. I am on day 4 of my sobriety. I am suffering from withdrawals but not as much as i did when i quit 5 years ago. I don't know why. My major physical symptom is sleeplessness. I am taking tylenol pm to sleep at night, although i don't think that is what i should be doing. I need it for the first week or i won't sleep. I am also sweating a lot, so i am taking a lot of showers and baths. They actually help to calm me.
I think that you need to have someone around you who is 100 percent supportive for you if you are going to try and withdraw without medical help. I have my husband who just happens to be a saint. Is your husband supportive. Right now you need to focus on just taking care of yourself and trying to deal with the withdrawal as it comes. If you don't have support it can be extrememly hard.
I am finding that i am really finding some great inspiration on this site. I hope you will too.
Please stay with us. We can help each other.
Take care Spun.
I know what you are going through. I am a hard core beer drinker as well. I have been drinking for 30 years and have only stopped once for 2 years and also during my 2 pregnancies. I am on day 4 of my sobriety. I am suffering from withdrawals but not as much as i did when i quit 5 years ago. I don't know why. My major physical symptom is sleeplessness. I am taking tylenol pm to sleep at night, although i don't think that is what i should be doing. I need it for the first week or i won't sleep. I am also sweating a lot, so i am taking a lot of showers and baths. They actually help to calm me.
I think that you need to have someone around you who is 100 percent supportive for you if you are going to try and withdraw without medical help. I have my husband who just happens to be a saint. Is your husband supportive. Right now you need to focus on just taking care of yourself and trying to deal with the withdrawal as it comes. If you don't have support it can be extrememly hard.
I am finding that i am really finding some great inspiration on this site. I hope you will too.
Please stay with us. We can help each other.
Take care Spun.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Lake Arrowhead, Ca
Posts: 8
First, Thank you all for the supportive comments,advice and prayers. The chills are running through me currently. I feel the support.
3:00 P.M. is the magic hour for me. One to twenty real quick.
"You know what honey, I can't tell if you have had 2 or 10 beers!" I hear that all the time.....
"Yeah, I know you drink too much but, you are not abusive or hurtful and you are still a great Dad!" I hear that all the time too.....
Point being, This is really unpleasant!!
The question is: WHY? WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT? What is the under lying cause of this? I have heard that alcoholism is a symptom of a greater under lying problem (which to me is contrary to the theory that it is genetic)
I do not know what I am going to do. I consider myself a strong person but can attest to the fact of it being a disease of progression..... I pray for strength and guidance.
Again, I thank each and everyone of you for the words you gave to me and can feel the suppport.
Sincerely,
Spunhuny
3:00 P.M. is the magic hour for me. One to twenty real quick.
"You know what honey, I can't tell if you have had 2 or 10 beers!" I hear that all the time.....
"Yeah, I know you drink too much but, you are not abusive or hurtful and you are still a great Dad!" I hear that all the time too.....
Point being, This is really unpleasant!!
The question is: WHY? WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT? What is the under lying cause of this? I have heard that alcoholism is a symptom of a greater under lying problem (which to me is contrary to the theory that it is genetic)
I do not know what I am going to do. I consider myself a strong person but can attest to the fact of it being a disease of progression..... I pray for strength and guidance.
Again, I thank each and everyone of you for the words you gave to me and can feel the suppport.
Sincerely,
Spunhuny
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT?
What is the under lying cause of this? I
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Lake Arrowhead, Ca
Posts: 8
O.K. but..................
I hear you loud and clear!
Am I correct in that you should not go to AA unless you have stopped?
The stopping, withdrawal and pain are what I fear, not the program or the "Gee, I can never drink again theory."
Thank you for the quick response.
Is there a magic number of consumption that decides, moderate or severe withdrawal?
Am I correct in that you should not go to AA unless you have stopped?
The stopping, withdrawal and pain are what I fear, not the program or the "Gee, I can never drink again theory."
Thank you for the quick response.
Is there a magic number of consumption that decides, moderate or severe withdrawal?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
You're gonna have to see a doctor. You might do inpatient de-tox. It takes about 3-5 days.
There is no formula for calculating the severity of withdraw. We're all different. Like I said, mine was BAD, and I wouldn't recommend doing it alone, at home. (Although many of us have) Your fear of de-tox is healthy. It's a living hell, and you could die if it goes wrong and you're not medically supervised.
Edit: You can go to AA anytime !
There is no formula for calculating the severity of withdraw. We're all different. Like I said, mine was BAD, and I wouldn't recommend doing it alone, at home. (Although many of us have) Your fear of de-tox is healthy. It's a living hell, and you could die if it goes wrong and you're not medically supervised.
Edit: You can go to AA anytime !
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Whatever it takes!
Originally Posted by spunhuny
I hear you loud and clear!
Am I correct in that you should not go to AA unless you have stopped?
The stopping, withdrawal and pain are what I fear, not the program or the "Gee, I can never drink again theory."
Thank you for the quick response.
Is there a magic number of consumption that decides, moderate or severe withdrawal?
Am I correct in that you should not go to AA unless you have stopped?
The stopping, withdrawal and pain are what I fear, not the program or the "Gee, I can never drink again theory."
Thank you for the quick response.
Is there a magic number of consumption that decides, moderate or severe withdrawal?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Lake Arrowhead, Ca
Posts: 8
It is comforting to know that I can go to AA anytime. Thank you for that.
I want to atleast attempt to reduce the consumption level prior to speaking to a doctor. I have been thinking about something like a two week period where in I go from 20 a night to 12 to 8 to 6 and then contacting the doctor. Perhaps I am kidding myself but again, the fear, THE FEAR! is something I cannot break from. This only strengthens the feelings of "needing to drink."
I want to atleast attempt to reduce the consumption level prior to speaking to a doctor. I have been thinking about something like a two week period where in I go from 20 a night to 12 to 8 to 6 and then contacting the doctor. Perhaps I am kidding myself but again, the fear, THE FEAR! is something I cannot break from. This only strengthens the feelings of "needing to drink."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Lake Arrowhead, Ca
Posts: 8
The funny thing for me is the magic 3:00 time. I really don't desire todrink prior to that. I do however, wake up every morning and tell myself "I promise, I will not drink today. Then, I go all day until 3:00 when the light goes on.
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