Just my observation
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 118
Just my observation
I stay on this site all day when I can - I'll read posts in between household chores! It helps me stay focused.
One thing I seem to see from those of us new, or starting over in sobriety is that they don't want to change their friends. And I guess to me it seems obvious, but maybe not.... you shouldn't have to!!!
It was really hard for me a year ago, to have to tell my friends I had a major problem with alcohol. I had isolated them by then, but I wanted them to know the reason why. Since then I have had my ups and downs, but when I have gone out and not drank - they have been nothing but supportive, because they are my true friends. If I don't want to drink - no one but myself - has ever pressured me to do otherwise.
I know that was a bit of a ramble, but my point is - if a person is pressuring you to drink - they were probably never your friend, my friends and family would never do that to me. And I know some people on this sight have drug problems as well and I just have to say - YOUR DEALER IS NOT YOUR FRIEND! If drugs were not involved it's not like you'd make a point to see them for coffee or anything...right?!
I just don't see why it would be hard to cut people out of your life, or not see them if you are trying to get clean and they don't support you in that. Just my opinion.
One thing I seem to see from those of us new, or starting over in sobriety is that they don't want to change their friends. And I guess to me it seems obvious, but maybe not.... you shouldn't have to!!!
It was really hard for me a year ago, to have to tell my friends I had a major problem with alcohol. I had isolated them by then, but I wanted them to know the reason why. Since then I have had my ups and downs, but when I have gone out and not drank - they have been nothing but supportive, because they are my true friends. If I don't want to drink - no one but myself - has ever pressured me to do otherwise.
I know that was a bit of a ramble, but my point is - if a person is pressuring you to drink - they were probably never your friend, my friends and family would never do that to me. And I know some people on this sight have drug problems as well and I just have to say - YOUR DEALER IS NOT YOUR FRIEND! If drugs were not involved it's not like you'd make a point to see them for coffee or anything...right?!
I just don't see why it would be hard to cut people out of your life, or not see them if you are trying to get clean and they don't support you in that. Just my opinion.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
YOUR DEALER IS NOT YOUR FRIEND...
Right Fallgirl...and the user is nothing more than a business profit! I wonder
how "friendly" the dealer would be after not being paid....at the least they are
not a support for cotinued sobriety.
Thanks for bringing up a good point...an eye opener.
Good luck to you F...
Love,
:
IO
Right Fallgirl...and the user is nothing more than a business profit! I wonder
how "friendly" the dealer would be after not being paid....at the least they are
not a support for cotinued sobriety.
Thanks for bringing up a good point...an eye opener.
Good luck to you F...
Love,
:IO
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,475
I did lose some people in my life when I stopped drinking. I had very negative feelings about myself, very low self-esteem and was a people-pleaser. Some of the people I had brought into my life were negative, even toxic people. It was only from negative point of view that I had believed they were friends. I needed to get them out of my life. It opened me up to new possibilities and wonderful new friends in my life.
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