Advice again!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 523
Advice again!!!
Hi All
Ive just had a call from my xab mother, telling me he is in hospital again and i am shaking like a leaf. He was admitted 8 weeks ago with suspected pneumonia he was in hospital for a week, really ill. Once he got out he continued his drinking (no suprise).
I feel so bad, and the guilt is killing me. My instict as a human being is to go there and care for him see he's ok, and let him know that im there for him. But i cant can I!!! and it's breaking my heart. I havent spoken to him for nearly 4 weeks. His mum just rang again and said that the doctors have said that he has anxiety attacks she told him that she'd phoned me and that i was asking for him!!!!and he told her that he'll ring me tomorrow to let me know how he is. what do i do, i wont go back no way, do i just say "hope you get better soon, take care." If i dont answre the call i will feel so guilty again. HELP
M X
Ive just had a call from my xab mother, telling me he is in hospital again and i am shaking like a leaf. He was admitted 8 weeks ago with suspected pneumonia he was in hospital for a week, really ill. Once he got out he continued his drinking (no suprise).
I feel so bad, and the guilt is killing me. My instict as a human being is to go there and care for him see he's ok, and let him know that im there for him. But i cant can I!!! and it's breaking my heart. I havent spoken to him for nearly 4 weeks. His mum just rang again and said that the doctors have said that he has anxiety attacks she told him that she'd phoned me and that i was asking for him!!!!and he told her that he'll ring me tomorrow to let me know how he is. what do i do, i wont go back no way, do i just say "hope you get better soon, take care." If i dont answre the call i will feel so guilty again. HELP
M X
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Guilt? For what?
I believe now (and it's taken a long time) that I can have compassion for a person, yet not have them as part of my day to day life.
He is in a place where he is being looked after by people who are paid to do that. And there other people like that who can help him with anxiety attcks - and I hope it is more that just putting him on medication.
"Sorry to hear you are in hospital and hope you get better soon" should cover it.
I believe now (and it's taken a long time) that I can have compassion for a person, yet not have them as part of my day to day life.
He is in a place where he is being looked after by people who are paid to do that. And there other people like that who can help him with anxiety attcks - and I hope it is more that just putting him on medication.
"Sorry to hear you are in hospital and hope you get better soon" should cover it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
My vote is to stay strong. IF you decide to tak a call, tell him you hope he gets better and follows the doctors' advice/treatments.
No you should not feel guilty or feel that you need to take care of him. He is an adult. He is capable of taking care of himself or of finding the help he needs from someone other than you. Don't take a step backwards. You worked so hard to detach and get where you are. Value yourself.
No you should not feel guilty or feel that you need to take care of him. He is an adult. He is capable of taking care of himself or of finding the help he needs from someone other than you. Don't take a step backwards. You worked so hard to detach and get where you are. Value yourself.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
((Mair)) stay strong...remember what we said "stick together". It wasn't fair to you that his mother called you with this. They both know you haven't spoken for 4 weeks. Stay firm in your decisions 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 523
Thank you i will be strong. His mother has even said when he calls dont mention the drinking, there's no point and that him being ill probably has nothing to do with drinking anyway. Mmm blood is thicker than water i guess.
Panic attacks and sweating, plurecy, are these symptoms of alcoholism im wondering what do you think??? im just curious
M x
Panic attacks and sweating, plurecy, are these symptoms of alcoholism im wondering what do you think??? im just curious
M x
s'ymai
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